So here I sit in my luxury Hilton Hotel room, eating my room service pizza and watching Sunday night football. There are no kids, so it is quiet. Marcy isn't here, so the thermostat is set at 65 degrees, and I'm considering moving it down to 63 degrees. Do I like to travel? Yes and no. Yes, because of the things above, but no cause I actually miss my family. And, because I like to go into work. I keep caught up on my work and I like my co-workers. The main thing I like about my work trips is, I get to meet the people I normally work with via email and phone, in person. I get to get my hands on my inventory, so I can be certain that all is good in the world. Most people complain about the travel part, but I have been pretty lucky. I did miss a connecting flight in St. Louis once, the last flight to Des Moines for the evening, and had to drive home at 3am. That wasn't fun. I have never lost my luggage, knock on wood, and haven't been bumped and my plane has never crashed. What I have gotten, is entertainment.
My trip started off at the kiosk you now have to use to check in to your flight, since there are only 3 people working in the entire Des Moines airport, they typically focus on fueling up the planes and throwing luggage around. When I got to the kiosk, there was a couple, man and woman, who were traveling together, but were each at a different kiosk. I waited as they struggled to figure it out. I was about to push them out of the way, but the lady finally gave up and let me go, while the guy raised his hand like he was in kindergarten and the teacher was going to ask him what he needed. I checked my bag and got the heck out of there before he started looking over my shoulder to see how to work the dang thing. DON'T CHEAT! Figure it out on your own. I got up to security, which in Des Moines, is typically a 10 to 20 minute process, but usually 10. They only had one line open so we were headed for a 20 minute line, when a miracle happened, they opened a second line. Wow, that was a first. The people in front of me poured to the new line, so when it came to me, I had to decide, move to the new line or stick with the old one. I chose old one. Wrong choice. Not because the line was slow, but the lady in front of me was showing me parts of her anatomy I didn't need to see. When I got into the line, she was wearing a coat, like a suit coat. I was busy taking my shoes off when she removed the coat, so I missed the tease part of the strip tease. When I looked up, I saw that this lady, who was a bit overweight, had removed the coat and was wearing a "shirt" that didn't have a back. It had like straps that were holding it "closed" but there was a ton of skin. How do I say this? She had back boobs. I hope I'm not breaking any news to you, but if you get overweight, you can develop boobs, on your back. They aren't real boobs, so I don't think she was breaking any laws, but wow, that is a shocker to look up to. Who the hell wears a shirt with no back, let alone on a plane? People watching is my favorite thing to do at an airport. What people choose to wear, fascinates me.
My flight is on time, so we board. I have to almost crawl to get in this tiny plane, but I find my seat and sit down, just as my window mate shows up so I have to get back up and bang my head on the roof again. Flight takes off, seat belt light goes off and my seat mate has to pee. I let him out, cram my legs back into my seat and wait for him to get back. I pry myself out of the seat to allow him back in, then squeeze back into my seat. About 10 minutes later, he decides he needs something out of the overhead, so we go through the routine again. It's a 2 hour flight dude, get the shit you need and sit down. No upsie downsie. The other problem with these tiny planes, the dude next to me was about my height, so we played footsie all the way to Houston and his hairy ass arm was hogging the arm rest. This plane has 2 seats on one side and one seat on the other. I try to get the one seat whenever I can, but couldn't on this trip. On my flight back, I have the single seat.
Before you take off, the flight attendant always gives you the safety speech. I stopped listening to it years ago. I think I know what to do. If the mask drops, scream "we are all going to die," remove your seat belt and proceed to run up and down the aisle ripping all the masks out. I might have mis-understood the directions, but that is the gist of it. I'm not listening to the lady today, but out of the corner of my ear (is that a saying?) I thought I heard her say something about asparagus. Surely she didn't, but maybe she was trying to see if ANYONE was listening. There was no reaction from the rest of the plane, so she either didn't say it, or nobody was listening.
When I travel, I try to dress to be comfortable. I watched a show years ago that said you should always wear long pants and tennis shoes on planes. The long pants protect your legs if there is an accident and the tennis shoes so you can do wind sprints on the movable sidewalk that is in so many airports now. OK, that isn't right, it's actually because a sandal exposes your toes, if there is an accident, and flip flops can come off and if you have to run over fiery wreckage once you have been de-flip flopped, it can hurt. All of this is to cover your ass on a worse case scenario, but jeans and tennis shoes is how I want to dress anyway. Since the weather in Houston is in the 90's, I wore short sleeves. I also don't get could easily, so I'm usually good. A lady who sat two rows up from me, apparently, doesn't have the same temperature tolerance that I do. She was wearing a stocking cap that looked like one of those sock monkeys. It was pulled down over her ears and it was hilarious. Looked like she was heading to Alaska in February.
When we got to Houston, I was waiting for my luggage when I watched a guy grab a suitcase and moved it a bit, so he could get the handle of his suitcase. A guy right behind him, angerly told him not to touch his suitcase, seeing as the case that guy one touched, was guy two's. It seemed a little harsh, seeing as how guy one didn't chuck the case across the airport, he barely moved it. I guess travel makes some people a bit edgy.
I had a little luck on my side as well. I was standing in line for a cab to go to the hotel, when a van pulled up with one of those scrolleing message boards on the side that listed my hotel. I knew my hotel had a shuttle, but when I tried to call from the booth, I sat on the phone for 5 minutes and nobody ever picked up. I decided to take a cab, until this little miracle pulled up. I checked with the guy, he said he did go to my hotel, so I skipped the long taxi line. I'm glad I was able to find the shuttle, my hotel was farther than I thought and it saved my company some money.
All in all, a good trip. I'm off to my warehouse in the morning and will probably sweat like crazy in the 90 degree, un-airconditioned, Texas warehouse, so wish me luck.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Monday, September 5, 2011
Random pictures, hilarious comments
I always new there was a reason I had three kids. Now don't get me wrong, I love the them, but normally, they spend most of their days at home making messes. Their idea of cleaning them up, isn't on the same scale as mine, but they try, sort of. The reason I had kids? So someday, they can do the jobs around the house that I don't really want to do. That is why my parents had me, but as a kid, I never really appreciated all that they did, so I never quite got the whole having kids thing. I thought they were lazy, turns out they were just smart. My kids aren't very old, but they are just old enough to think helping daddy around the house is fun. I'll milk this until they are fully trained, then BAM! it's their job. My plan is moving along just swell. Here is Makiah mowing the grass.
You can see that he appears to be struggling, which he was. I keep cheering him on, and pulling the mower back into line. It seems that when you push with all your might, you tend to lean to your strong side. The lines in the yard aren't exactly straight, but if you look closely, half of the grass is dormant, so whatever. I didn't take very good care of the grass this year, so it's a bit weedy and a lot dry. Hey, Iowa is the Alaskan tundra in the winter and the Arizona desert in the summer. Just so Makiah didn't feel like he was having all the fun, I had Max working as well.
This is our pool, that he is power washing the mud off the bottom so I can roll it up and put it in the garage for the winter. Then, next spring, I will roll it back out and spend several hours looking for holes that happened when we power washed it and rolled it up. WTF! Mason hasn't exactly jumped on the bandwagon yet, but I'm dreaming up some jobs for him.
I found this picture from earlier this summer.
Now this picture cracks me up. Mason is holding my BB pistol and Makiah is holding my Red Ryder, single pump, BB rifle, the same gun from A Christmas Story. I have not shot my eye out, but the kids will at some point and Marcy will give me the "I told you so" speech. Bring it. I'm working with them on gun safety, with guns that probably won't kill them if they break a rule. Since both guns are single pump, that means two things. One, they can't pump either one of them, so I have to do it, so I always know when we are live. Two, since they are both single pump, not a lot of power. We shoot cans in the backyard, with my wood privacy fence behind the cans to stop the strays. The first time we ever shot them, two summers ago, Makiah was a dead eye. He hit the cans with every pull of the trigger. The cans were about 30 feet away, so not bad for his first attempt. This year, his eye is no longer dead. We could have thrown a handful of BB's and had the same result. Oh well, they haven't shot me or each other, or an animal, so we are good.
I found this shot that I took as I passed a car on the way home.
If you see that white dot, just to the bottom left of the gas door, that is her gas cap dangling there. Not sure why I thought this was funny but I did, and do. Maybe because I have never done it. I never lost a gas cap, when they weren't attached, back in the day. Now that I've said that, this will happen to me. There appears to be something under the wheel as well, but I'm not sure what it was. I would have gotten a better look, but I hadn't looked at the road in a few minutes trying to get this shot, so I thought I might take a gander at where I was in the traffic. Safety first.
Another shot happened near my office.
This is probably hard to see, but it is burned into my brain, so let me describe. This truck is all decked out. It has the huge CB antenna. It has large wheels. It has fricking smoke stacks on both sides of the cab. It sounds like across between a Harley motorcycle and a funny car. A deep rumble. Then, to top it off, it has a Rascal Scooter strapped to the back. Hilarious. At least if his truck breaks down, he can continue his trip and a whopping 3 1/2 mph.
And finally, I took this picture on my last trip to White Castle and was going to sign off my last post about the WC with it. Well I forgot, so let me sign off this post, with a very sad shot.
You can see that he appears to be struggling, which he was. I keep cheering him on, and pulling the mower back into line. It seems that when you push with all your might, you tend to lean to your strong side. The lines in the yard aren't exactly straight, but if you look closely, half of the grass is dormant, so whatever. I didn't take very good care of the grass this year, so it's a bit weedy and a lot dry. Hey, Iowa is the Alaskan tundra in the winter and the Arizona desert in the summer. Just so Makiah didn't feel like he was having all the fun, I had Max working as well.
This is our pool, that he is power washing the mud off the bottom so I can roll it up and put it in the garage for the winter. Then, next spring, I will roll it back out and spend several hours looking for holes that happened when we power washed it and rolled it up. WTF! Mason hasn't exactly jumped on the bandwagon yet, but I'm dreaming up some jobs for him.
I found this picture from earlier this summer.
Now this picture cracks me up. Mason is holding my BB pistol and Makiah is holding my Red Ryder, single pump, BB rifle, the same gun from A Christmas Story. I have not shot my eye out, but the kids will at some point and Marcy will give me the "I told you so" speech. Bring it. I'm working with them on gun safety, with guns that probably won't kill them if they break a rule. Since both guns are single pump, that means two things. One, they can't pump either one of them, so I have to do it, so I always know when we are live. Two, since they are both single pump, not a lot of power. We shoot cans in the backyard, with my wood privacy fence behind the cans to stop the strays. The first time we ever shot them, two summers ago, Makiah was a dead eye. He hit the cans with every pull of the trigger. The cans were about 30 feet away, so not bad for his first attempt. This year, his eye is no longer dead. We could have thrown a handful of BB's and had the same result. Oh well, they haven't shot me or each other, or an animal, so we are good.
I found this shot that I took as I passed a car on the way home.
If you see that white dot, just to the bottom left of the gas door, that is her gas cap dangling there. Not sure why I thought this was funny but I did, and do. Maybe because I have never done it. I never lost a gas cap, when they weren't attached, back in the day. Now that I've said that, this will happen to me. There appears to be something under the wheel as well, but I'm not sure what it was. I would have gotten a better look, but I hadn't looked at the road in a few minutes trying to get this shot, so I thought I might take a gander at where I was in the traffic. Safety first.
Another shot happened near my office.
This is probably hard to see, but it is burned into my brain, so let me describe. This truck is all decked out. It has the huge CB antenna. It has large wheels. It has fricking smoke stacks on both sides of the cab. It sounds like across between a Harley motorcycle and a funny car. A deep rumble. Then, to top it off, it has a Rascal Scooter strapped to the back. Hilarious. At least if his truck breaks down, he can continue his trip and a whopping 3 1/2 mph.
And finally, I took this picture on my last trip to White Castle and was going to sign off my last post about the WC with it. Well I forgot, so let me sign off this post, with a very sad shot.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
That was close!
Have you ever had something that shook you, and I mean shook you to your core? Well I had that happen to me last Sunday. Marcy works with a lady who lives on an apple orchard. They have about 1000 trees on their property, but don't pick or sell the apples. I got the impression that they have a lot of family and friends that come out and pick them, but they must leave a bunch that just don't get eaten. It was Sunday morning, and we decided to head to the orchard to pick some. Now the weather outside was frightful, OK, not frightful but as I was typing the first part of that sentence, the song just jumped in. It was a cloudy day, appeared to want to rain, but we were determined to get a bunch of apples, the rain be damned. We found the orchard, about 10 minutes from our house, and hit the trees to get our bounty. It started to sprinkle, but what I've always tried to teach the boys is, a little rain won't hurt you, it's the lightning that will sting a bit. There were apples every where. I tried to convince the boys, that just because the apples were low enough on the tree that they could reach them, didn't mean they needed to be picked. The first bunch of apples picked were the size of golf balls. I reminded them, the bigger the better. (glad I said it and not Marcy) They started passing on the golf balls, and started picking reasonable apples. Then we went over the condition of the apple. "Don't put an apple that is half rotten in with the other apples," I said. All three boys had either a bag or bucket to carry their treasure, and they were starting to fill up, well, some were. After walking around for about 15 minutes, I noticed that Mason had one lonely apple in his bag. I asked him why he only had one, and he said it was perfect, and he was only picking perfect apples. I wished him luck. The friend of Marcy's said that there were bigger apples on the other side of the road, so we headed over there, and she was right. As we crossed the road, the rain picked up. We were all ready soaked, so why stop now. After just a few minutes looking for bigger apples, it happened. My memory is a little foggy, but what I remember is a flash of light. Not from a flashlight, or from a camera, but more like the sun just landed in a farm field in Iowa. It was bright. That scared me, but the BOOM that followed just about cause my bowels to release. To say I was startled, would be an understatement. Like saying Katrina was a big storm, yeah, no shit. As soon as the boom happened, I knew that lightning had just struck nearby. My first reaction? RUN!!!! I yelled to the kids, who were now all crying, RUN!!!!!! And they did, but the little bastards dropped their apples, so I yelled to get your apples. Looking back, was that wrong? Should I have nearly sacrificed one of my offspring so I could pack an apple in my lunch? Huh, maybe, but at the time, "Get your apples." They took their hands off of the ears just long enough to pick up their apple bags in their now shaking hands, and run, still crying, to the van. Now my sprint, which wouldn't exactly be one for the books, consisted of a 6 foot 4 inch, slightly over weight, 42 year old, slightly frightened man, running at full speed, bent at the waist to get under the branches and trying not to turn an ankle on all of the previously fallen apples. I was doing my best to get around the trees and not running into one of my kids and knocking him down in his terrified state, loosing any chance of father of the year. BUT, they were on their own. I can't run my 6 foot 4 inch, slightly over weight, 42 year old, slightly frightened body, running at full speed, bent at the waist to get under the branches and trying not to turn an ankle on all of the previously fallen apples AND carry a crying 5 or 9 year old. Mason was at the van, so one kid was safe. Marcy was running at my left, van to my right, so her chances of beating me to the van were next to zero. I love her, but I'm not above smashing her to the ground so I get my butt into the van before the next lightning strike. I knew I had a little time, but mother nature has no rules on the amount of time between strikes, so I wasn't going to rely on history. I'm happy to say that we all made it to the van and I didn't have to sacrifice any kid or my wife, to be safe. We drove up to the house, and were greeted by Marcy's friend and her daughters, who had been riding a four wheeler around when the strike happened. The pointed out where it had struck, since they had a front row seat to the actual landing zone. It appears the strike hit about 300 yards from where there are now 4 or 5 pee stains. A little too close for comfort. As a storm rolled in today, Makiah was in the house at the first flash of light. I think he has a new respect.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Bucket
So I mentioned awhile back that I didn't have an actual bucket list, but I think they can be good ideas, as long as you don't see your life as a failure if you don't accomplish your list. Marcy and I started discussing our mental lists on the way to MN and realized that most of our list was comprised of travel, which is probably common. Although I don't actually have the list written down yet, I'm thinking I will just add a menu choice of "Bucket List" on this blog and add as I think of them. Seeing as how my memory isn't always what I want it to be, this will help me to remember my choices.
First off, I want to take a 2 week vacation, with no agenda, no destination and not even a direction. Load up the car and roll the dice. Roll a one, you go North, roll a two, you go east and so on. You say there are six sides to a dice and four directions, well then, plug something into the other numbers regarding roads that leave from your current spot. Is there a road that goes NE from where you are? That's a five on the dice. I think you get the point. Now, to figure out where to go, hit the next visitors center and start pulling brochures, or cheap hotels have the brochures as well, like the Super 4 we stayed in the other night. Ask the kids, what do you want to see? The worlds biggest ball of twine? Lets go. Can you imagine the blog posts I would have for a vacation filled with the worlds biggest this and the worlds smallest that? If you don't have an agenda, there isn't as much pressure to be "there" or see "that." Would it work? No idea, but it sounds like fun to me. My kids might not see the thrill in it, but if they are helping in the decisions, maybe they would enjoy it. "Where are you going on vacation?" Where ever the road, and dice, take us.
There are several places in the US that I want to see, the Grand Canyon from the ground, Glacier National Park, and Alaska. Those are the ones I have thought of so far, but I'm sure I will remember more that I have read about before and have just forgotten.
I've all ready cleared some off my list, and even did a few things that I would have had on my list, if I had had one. I've been to Hawaii, which definitely would have been on my list. I went to South Africa and got to ride around in an open air jeep with lions all around. I walked up to a Cape Buffalo, one of the big five African animals, and didn't shit myself. OK, maybe a little, but we were close and that was one big ass animal. That was probably something I never would have put on my list, because I would have though it was out of reach. I guess that isn't the point of the list, maybe you should shoot for the moon. Maybe not the moon, although that might not be out of the question soon. I was excited to hear what Marcy's list would look like as well. I was happy to hear we both had Grand Canyon and Alaska on our list and she had a different national park, but we are in the same category anyway. She liked my roll the dice vacation, so maybe I will start to refine that idea, so if we ever have the money to do it, we can. Now that I'm learning her list, I hope to be able to make some of those come true. I hope my surprise trip to Hawaii knocked a entry off her list. I know she would love to go to South Africa, and since I now have a connection to make that happen, the money is all that separates her from a pant load of crap after she sees what I saw.
First off, I want to take a 2 week vacation, with no agenda, no destination and not even a direction. Load up the car and roll the dice. Roll a one, you go North, roll a two, you go east and so on. You say there are six sides to a dice and four directions, well then, plug something into the other numbers regarding roads that leave from your current spot. Is there a road that goes NE from where you are? That's a five on the dice. I think you get the point. Now, to figure out where to go, hit the next visitors center and start pulling brochures, or cheap hotels have the brochures as well, like the Super 4 we stayed in the other night. Ask the kids, what do you want to see? The worlds biggest ball of twine? Lets go. Can you imagine the blog posts I would have for a vacation filled with the worlds biggest this and the worlds smallest that? If you don't have an agenda, there isn't as much pressure to be "there" or see "that." Would it work? No idea, but it sounds like fun to me. My kids might not see the thrill in it, but if they are helping in the decisions, maybe they would enjoy it. "Where are you going on vacation?" Where ever the road, and dice, take us.
There are several places in the US that I want to see, the Grand Canyon from the ground, Glacier National Park, and Alaska. Those are the ones I have thought of so far, but I'm sure I will remember more that I have read about before and have just forgotten.
I've all ready cleared some off my list, and even did a few things that I would have had on my list, if I had had one. I've been to Hawaii, which definitely would have been on my list. I went to South Africa and got to ride around in an open air jeep with lions all around. I walked up to a Cape Buffalo, one of the big five African animals, and didn't shit myself. OK, maybe a little, but we were close and that was one big ass animal. That was probably something I never would have put on my list, because I would have though it was out of reach. I guess that isn't the point of the list, maybe you should shoot for the moon. Maybe not the moon, although that might not be out of the question soon. I was excited to hear what Marcy's list would look like as well. I was happy to hear we both had Grand Canyon and Alaska on our list and she had a different national park, but we are in the same category anyway. She liked my roll the dice vacation, so maybe I will start to refine that idea, so if we ever have the money to do it, we can. Now that I'm learning her list, I hope to be able to make some of those come true. I hope my surprise trip to Hawaii knocked a entry off her list. I know she would love to go to South Africa, and since I now have a connection to make that happen, the money is all that separates her from a pant load of crap after she sees what I saw.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Lesson learned.
So our hotel last night, which turned out to only be a 4 on the super scale instead of an 8, was close to the Mall of America. We decided to head over to the mall and find a place to eat. Largest mall in America, surely we can find a place to eat. We ended up at the Rainforest Cafe. If you've never been to one, they are all right. Food isn't bad, although expensive, and the atmosphere is pretty cool for kids, which we were without, so not nearly as impressive as it would have been. Their mascot is a frog, which Marcy loves, so we can at least go through the gift shop and see 100 things Marcy would like to have, but not buy. So I titled this post "Lesson Learned," so what did I learn? Well this place has large fish tanks all over the restaurant, and our table pushed up against one. Here is my dinner view:
As you can see, not bad. I like the blue fish, no idea what they are called, but they relax me with their smooth swimming and soothing blue color. OK, it's a fish, it's mesmerizing to watch them, I think I dozed off three times at dinner. So this seat just appears to be the best in the house, which is what the waiter said when he sat us there, but I'm here to tell you, not the best seat. Why you may be asking yourself? Well, because every kid in that restaurant wants to come see fricking Nemo, who is a foot from my dinner plate. The whole meal I have kids standing right behind my chair, openly praying that they might be able to find Nemo in this tank of fish. My mind wanted to comment to Marcy after we began eating "This fried Nemo is the best." Somehow I don't think my comment about eating their favorite movie character would have gone over well, so I stifled the urge. Along with these kids, came the parents, so I really felt I was in some slow, small, eating contest. I mean I had an audience, all be it not all of them were looking at me, but it sure as hell felt like it. One of the kids brought his grandma over and they were at the edge of the tank in front of me, so every bite I took, I'm looking into her eyes. I wanted to say, "Hey granny, divert your eyes and get junior out of here so I can continue my inappropriate conversation with my wife!" I can't have a conversation like that at home with my kids around, so we wait until we are in another state and someone else's kids are around. Maybe our conversation wasn't inappropriate, but if I think you are listening, I just might turn it that way. This is also one of those restaurant's that make a ruckus and sings to you on your birthday, which I hate. Not so much when they do it to someone else, but I don't want some waiter singing a birthday song to me and I don't want to be at the table if they are singing to someone else. I told Marcy if they come back out, they had all ready been out twice, that I wanted her to jump into the group of waiter/waitresses and start singing along. They can't kick you out for that, can they? That would make for a great blog story, but an embarrassing police report. They didn't come back out, so the world missed out on Marcy's public singing, but there is always next time. All in all, not a bad meal, but if you ever go to a theme restaurant, without kids, and the waiter says "This is my favorite table," ask to be moved. You are welcome.
As you can see, not bad. I like the blue fish, no idea what they are called, but they relax me with their smooth swimming and soothing blue color. OK, it's a fish, it's mesmerizing to watch them, I think I dozed off three times at dinner. So this seat just appears to be the best in the house, which is what the waiter said when he sat us there, but I'm here to tell you, not the best seat. Why you may be asking yourself? Well, because every kid in that restaurant wants to come see fricking Nemo, who is a foot from my dinner plate. The whole meal I have kids standing right behind my chair, openly praying that they might be able to find Nemo in this tank of fish. My mind wanted to comment to Marcy after we began eating "This fried Nemo is the best." Somehow I don't think my comment about eating their favorite movie character would have gone over well, so I stifled the urge. Along with these kids, came the parents, so I really felt I was in some slow, small, eating contest. I mean I had an audience, all be it not all of them were looking at me, but it sure as hell felt like it. One of the kids brought his grandma over and they were at the edge of the tank in front of me, so every bite I took, I'm looking into her eyes. I wanted to say, "Hey granny, divert your eyes and get junior out of here so I can continue my inappropriate conversation with my wife!" I can't have a conversation like that at home with my kids around, so we wait until we are in another state and someone else's kids are around. Maybe our conversation wasn't inappropriate, but if I think you are listening, I just might turn it that way. This is also one of those restaurant's that make a ruckus and sings to you on your birthday, which I hate. Not so much when they do it to someone else, but I don't want some waiter singing a birthday song to me and I don't want to be at the table if they are singing to someone else. I told Marcy if they come back out, they had all ready been out twice, that I wanted her to jump into the group of waiter/waitresses and start singing along. They can't kick you out for that, can they? That would make for a great blog story, but an embarrassing police report. They didn't come back out, so the world missed out on Marcy's public singing, but there is always next time. All in all, not a bad meal, but if you ever go to a theme restaurant, without kids, and the waiter says "This is my favorite table," ask to be moved. You are welcome.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Not again.
Oh yes, again.
I can't help it, I have an addiction. I have no idea why, as soon as I hit the Twin Cities, I start jonesing for a Slider. I made Marcy take this picture just so I could post it on Facebook to gross out one friend and sent it via my phone to my brother Brian and a co-worker. I tried to get Marcy to let me take a picture of her fake eating one, but I don't think she could get the burger near her face without gagging. She doesn't eat meat, which I'm not sure what is on a Slider could technically called meat, but it's close. Like John Capparulo says, "It's playing the fucking part." So as you can tell, I'm back in Minneapolis for a quick trip, then heading home tomorrow. We are staying in a fancy hotel tonight, I think it is a Super 8, which I think means on the super scale, its an 8. Not bad, that's how we roll. I didn't bring my tux, so I hope they don't look at me funny when I stroll through the lobby.
On our drive up, we were passed by four motorcycles that said "Patriot Guard." I see them on TV all the time, escorting our fallen soldiers with Old Glory flying high. It puts a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye every time. I wasn't sure if it was them until they were passed, or I would have made a lame attempt to show them I was proud of what they do. I'm not sure if other countries have the same kind of group, but they should. The best thing I have ever seen them do, is stand between the protesters from that church in Crazyass, OK, or where ever they are from, and the mourners of a soldiers funeral. I know they have their beliefs, and their rights, but I wish an out of control semi would take them all out the next time they protest one of our men/women in uniform. So this group passes us and all I can do is hope they are at the next stop we are at so I can take a picture of them and thank them. Next stop, no luck. As we start up again, I see a few more, then we go under an overpass and I see a firetruck covered in flags parked above. The fireman were out, so I knew the funeral procession was coming from behind us. We passed 5 or 6 more firetrucks, flags a flying, and my heart pounded. THIS is true American pride. I'm a big fan of America and this was about as good of a display as I had ever seen. I so badly wanted to stop and stand on that overpass and place my hand on my heart as our hero passed under me. Time didn't permit it, but it was on my heart and that soldiers family, who ever they were, are in my prayers. God Bless the men and women who fight for us, and God Bless America!
I can't help it, I have an addiction. I have no idea why, as soon as I hit the Twin Cities, I start jonesing for a Slider. I made Marcy take this picture just so I could post it on Facebook to gross out one friend and sent it via my phone to my brother Brian and a co-worker. I tried to get Marcy to let me take a picture of her fake eating one, but I don't think she could get the burger near her face without gagging. She doesn't eat meat, which I'm not sure what is on a Slider could technically called meat, but it's close. Like John Capparulo says, "It's playing the fucking part." So as you can tell, I'm back in Minneapolis for a quick trip, then heading home tomorrow. We are staying in a fancy hotel tonight, I think it is a Super 8, which I think means on the super scale, its an 8. Not bad, that's how we roll. I didn't bring my tux, so I hope they don't look at me funny when I stroll through the lobby.
On our drive up, we were passed by four motorcycles that said "Patriot Guard." I see them on TV all the time, escorting our fallen soldiers with Old Glory flying high. It puts a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye every time. I wasn't sure if it was them until they were passed, or I would have made a lame attempt to show them I was proud of what they do. I'm not sure if other countries have the same kind of group, but they should. The best thing I have ever seen them do, is stand between the protesters from that church in Crazyass, OK, or where ever they are from, and the mourners of a soldiers funeral. I know they have their beliefs, and their rights, but I wish an out of control semi would take them all out the next time they protest one of our men/women in uniform. So this group passes us and all I can do is hope they are at the next stop we are at so I can take a picture of them and thank them. Next stop, no luck. As we start up again, I see a few more, then we go under an overpass and I see a firetruck covered in flags parked above. The fireman were out, so I knew the funeral procession was coming from behind us. We passed 5 or 6 more firetrucks, flags a flying, and my heart pounded. THIS is true American pride. I'm a big fan of America and this was about as good of a display as I had ever seen. I so badly wanted to stop and stand on that overpass and place my hand on my heart as our hero passed under me. Time didn't permit it, but it was on my heart and that soldiers family, who ever they were, are in my prayers. God Bless the men and women who fight for us, and God Bless America!
Monday, August 15, 2011
I had, the time of my life.
Saturday night, I spent the evening with a bunch of people I worked with 10 years ago, or more. This company was my first "real" job, whatever that means. I'm pretty sure the hours I spent at Taco Bell, serving tacos to the inebriated is considered a real job, but since I had no intention of it being my career, I always looked at it as a temporary stop on my road of life. I lucked into my job at CE, my best friends mom worked there and knew they were looking for someone in their production area to label computer diskettes and pack programs into boxes to ship to customers. It wasn't rocket science, but it got my foot in the door. I put in 15 years at the most fun place I've ever worked at. So Saturday night, a group of former CE employees got together to reminisce and catch up. I remember so many funny stories that one night wasn't enough to get them all back out. Of course, there were a bunch I had forgotten and enjoyed the refresher. Here's a few samples:
Here in Des Monies, there use to be a place called Big Daddy's BBQ. Now Big Daddy was know for making some incredible sauce, HOT sauce. So when a new guy joined the CE team, and started bragging about how hot he liked his food, it was suggested that he be taken to Big Daddy's and taught a lesson. The next time I saw that guy, he had black circles around his eyes and looked like he was dead, up until he came back to life and came to work. I asked him what happened and he said he was in the hospital because after he ate 1/2 of the sandwich at Big Daddy's, he threw up so much he burst the blood vessels around his eyes. He told me he still wasn't right, on the stomach and pooper side, but at least his tongue wasn't numb anymore. What a glass is half full kind of guy. There was one thing I learned from that. Don't challenge Big Daddy. You will loose.
My favorite story EVER from CE, was when we had a computer programmer visiting us from China. He was leaving our building for lunch with a bunch of other programmers. He came down the stairs and made a sharp left turn to head out the door to the parking lot. Unfortunately, the doors were not located at the sharp left location he was attempting to exit. No, the doors were actually about six feet to his right. So where did he attempt to exit? Through a 8 foot by 12 foot sheet of glass, which thankfully did not shatter when he smashed his face into it at full speed. It sounded as though he hit it three times, perhaps his head was bouncing off the glass, but it sounded horrific. I happen to be upstairs, just out of view of the impact area, but as soon as I heard it, I ran out to look over the balcony, to see the guy run out to his lunch group like nothing happened. I asked the ladies at the front desk who appeared to be in shock. They told me what happened, so I headed over to the glass and found a perfect face print on the glass, including forehead, nose, cheeks, chin and even eyelashes. To say that he hit it hard would be the understatement of the year. I laughed so I hard I nearly pee'd myself, and I wasn't alone. I think productivity was done for the day.
There were tons more, like putting a motion activated recorder, that when placed behind a toilet, scares the crap out of people when they go to use that toilet and it says "I'm watching you." Removing the pins from the hinges on a door, so when the person opens that door, it comes off the hinges and smashes the guy in the face. Many things were shrunk wrapped, which if you don't know what that is, wrap something in Saran wrap, and then heating it until it is super tight. Now imagine everything on your desk being wrapped, individual pens, stapler, tape dispenser, keyboard, mouse and anything else we could get our hands on. We covered a guys office floor and chairs with computer diskette labels. It was actually pretty cool looking and the guy loved it. Taught him to lock his office when he went to lunch though. We boxed up a girls car when she left it in the parking lot and went out of town. We had several days to work on that one. We had a big snow one year and a guy had left his car in the parking lot. After the plow truck sort of buried his car, we got out our shovels and finished the job. His car was buried under 3 feet of snow, then we watered it so it was icy.
I slept at the office on numerous occasions. One night, we were working late and it was about 2am. The cleaning crew was just wrapping up and getting ready to leave. We had spoken to them several times, so they knew we were there. I was using the restroom, when I heard over the loud speaker, "You have violated a restricted area, the police have been notified." I thought that was odd, so I headed out to the alarm panel, just in time to see the cleaning people look at me, then run for the parking lot. Somehow, they had forgotten we were in the building and set the alarm on us. Nice.
Everyday at this place was an adventure. The thing I remember most was, it was a family. We were together so much, it was our home away from home. How do I know it was family. Ask anyone who worked there and they'll tell you the same thing. It was a unique place, nothing I had heard of before or after. What group has a work reunion, 10 years after it, in all honesty, died. Half the people at that reunion were either laid off or fired. You get laid off from a company, do you go back to see the people that did it? I suggest that this might be a first. Do you hug your co-workers? I did. Do you tell your co-workers that you love them? I did. Still do. It was a great time in my life, a time I will never forget. Plans are in the works for next years get togther, and I can't wait. Hopefully more people can make it and more stories can be shared.
Here in Des Monies, there use to be a place called Big Daddy's BBQ. Now Big Daddy was know for making some incredible sauce, HOT sauce. So when a new guy joined the CE team, and started bragging about how hot he liked his food, it was suggested that he be taken to Big Daddy's and taught a lesson. The next time I saw that guy, he had black circles around his eyes and looked like he was dead, up until he came back to life and came to work. I asked him what happened and he said he was in the hospital because after he ate 1/2 of the sandwich at Big Daddy's, he threw up so much he burst the blood vessels around his eyes. He told me he still wasn't right, on the stomach and pooper side, but at least his tongue wasn't numb anymore. What a glass is half full kind of guy. There was one thing I learned from that. Don't challenge Big Daddy. You will loose.
My favorite story EVER from CE, was when we had a computer programmer visiting us from China. He was leaving our building for lunch with a bunch of other programmers. He came down the stairs and made a sharp left turn to head out the door to the parking lot. Unfortunately, the doors were not located at the sharp left location he was attempting to exit. No, the doors were actually about six feet to his right. So where did he attempt to exit? Through a 8 foot by 12 foot sheet of glass, which thankfully did not shatter when he smashed his face into it at full speed. It sounded as though he hit it three times, perhaps his head was bouncing off the glass, but it sounded horrific. I happen to be upstairs, just out of view of the impact area, but as soon as I heard it, I ran out to look over the balcony, to see the guy run out to his lunch group like nothing happened. I asked the ladies at the front desk who appeared to be in shock. They told me what happened, so I headed over to the glass and found a perfect face print on the glass, including forehead, nose, cheeks, chin and even eyelashes. To say that he hit it hard would be the understatement of the year. I laughed so I hard I nearly pee'd myself, and I wasn't alone. I think productivity was done for the day.
There were tons more, like putting a motion activated recorder, that when placed behind a toilet, scares the crap out of people when they go to use that toilet and it says "I'm watching you." Removing the pins from the hinges on a door, so when the person opens that door, it comes off the hinges and smashes the guy in the face. Many things were shrunk wrapped, which if you don't know what that is, wrap something in Saran wrap, and then heating it until it is super tight. Now imagine everything on your desk being wrapped, individual pens, stapler, tape dispenser, keyboard, mouse and anything else we could get our hands on. We covered a guys office floor and chairs with computer diskette labels. It was actually pretty cool looking and the guy loved it. Taught him to lock his office when he went to lunch though. We boxed up a girls car when she left it in the parking lot and went out of town. We had several days to work on that one. We had a big snow one year and a guy had left his car in the parking lot. After the plow truck sort of buried his car, we got out our shovels and finished the job. His car was buried under 3 feet of snow, then we watered it so it was icy.
I slept at the office on numerous occasions. One night, we were working late and it was about 2am. The cleaning crew was just wrapping up and getting ready to leave. We had spoken to them several times, so they knew we were there. I was using the restroom, when I heard over the loud speaker, "You have violated a restricted area, the police have been notified." I thought that was odd, so I headed out to the alarm panel, just in time to see the cleaning people look at me, then run for the parking lot. Somehow, they had forgotten we were in the building and set the alarm on us. Nice.
Everyday at this place was an adventure. The thing I remember most was, it was a family. We were together so much, it was our home away from home. How do I know it was family. Ask anyone who worked there and they'll tell you the same thing. It was a unique place, nothing I had heard of before or after. What group has a work reunion, 10 years after it, in all honesty, died. Half the people at that reunion were either laid off or fired. You get laid off from a company, do you go back to see the people that did it? I suggest that this might be a first. Do you hug your co-workers? I did. Do you tell your co-workers that you love them? I did. Still do. It was a great time in my life, a time I will never forget. Plans are in the works for next years get togther, and I can't wait. Hopefully more people can make it and more stories can be shared.
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