So you think you had a bad day....

I know it has been a long time since I have posted, but to be honest, I didn't feel that my sleeping, eating, working and housework were interesting topics for you to read about. I just returned from a work related trip to Akron, Ohio, and as usual, shit happened to me that I thought I would share. First up, my flight from Des Moines to Chicago. The plane had two seats on each side of the aisle, unlike my normal plane which has one seat on one side and two seats on the other. I love these planes, if I can get on the single side, so I don't have to deal with a seat mate. Why you may ask? I'm sure when you travel, you end up with a super model, GQ stud or just a fascinating person sitting next to you, so you can chat the time away and arrive at your destination before you even knew you took off. That isn't my luck. I am constantly being seated to the oddest people that happen to inhabit this earth. Don't take this as "I'm better than they are" kind of attitude. I've never felt I was ever better than anyone. Perhaps it's a low self esteem or perhaps it was my upbringing of accepting everyone for who they are, regardless of their quirks. That being said, we board the plane and a lady who appeared to be in her 50's sat next to me. Now my goal when I fly is to get my headphones on as soon as I can, get my book out and get into my own relaxing zone. As soon as the flight attendant said you may resume using electronic devices, I stuffed the ear buds in and cranked some Skillet. The lady next to me decided it was time to break out the snack buffet she had packed in her carry-on. The variety of her selection was amazing. There were all sorts of bags to be opened, and un-fortunately, all kids of smells for me to inhale. I tried to take a peek to see just what exactly would be the item/smell that would cause me to vomit, but I neither recognized the food or was able to read any of the labels. Some of the items appeared to be some sort of nut, and others appeared to be dead sea creatures. I'm guessing that was what was making the smell. She actually offered me a chocolate, which I declined. Now I'm getting into my music and book, but realize that my leg is being peppered with nut/sea creature escapee's from her mouth and hand. Most were hitting my leg and bouncing to the floor, but several were just sitting on my leg. Now I'm not interested in her getting the food off my leg, but I don't want it on there either. I decided to "shift" in my seat and send the offending droppings onto the floor. So I did. Out of the corner of my eye, I see this woman is kind of, twitching. Not in a being electrocuted way, but enough that I was beginning to be concerned. I could hear through my ear buds that she was making some noises as well. I kept an eye on her, in case she decided to pass out or start really freaking out, but after a few minutes, everything calmed down and I wasn't forced to rear naked choke her out of my misery. You know I watch MMA and have wanted to try a few moves I've seen without the possibility of getting my ass kicked, and I think I could take her. I'm pretty sure I could. But alas, I was still unable to break out the moves and she quietly got her book, something about how to freak strangers out, but I could have read that wrong. The rest of the trip was uneventful, except that my bag decided to stay in Chicago for awhile as I continued on to Akron. It is a lonely feeling when everyone gets their bag and walks away and there you stand with nothing. I filed my missing bag claim and headed to my hotel. Now I love staying in hotels, but like everyone, I'm always concerned if my room is actually clean or not. As I looked around for a power outlet for my computer, my search lead me to behind the couch. Now I know what is behind my couch when I pull it out, but I assumed a hotel couch would be a bit better. I was wrong. Some if the things I saw back there were coffee creamer lids, a straw, and this sweet number.

I know I didn't need to put it on for you, but who could resist. I'm not sure if this vest belonged to a hotel worker who decided to take a little break with a maid and my room was the love nest, or if this was a honeymoon room and the clothes went a flying. There was a pair of socks back there as well, but I decided that the vest was as far as I was willing to go. I can not explain the dumbass grin on my face in the picture, or completely explain my awkward gaze straight ahead, instead of at the camera. You may have seen it posted on Facebook, but the view from my room is well worth a second look.

My week in Akron was one of the most exhausting visits I have made while working for my company. I know I'm getting old, but the amount of walking and climbing was a bit more than normal. I'm lucky that I work with fantastic people and everyone works hard to get the job done, so you never feel like you are pulling more of the load than everyone else. Gee, I hope they feel the same way about me:) My trip was over, so it was time to head home, again through Chicago. On my layover in Chicago, I found a gate in the far corner of the airport where I could again, put in my headphones and maybe get a short nap before I had to get to my gate for the final leg of my trip home. As I sat there and started to drift off, I heard a muffled sound that I wasn't sure what it was. I tried to ignore it, but it was consistent and getting louder, so I pulled an ear bud out to see if I could figure out what it was. As soon as I pulled the bud out, I knew it was someone crying. I listened as the woman continued to sob. I was trying to figure out what the issue was, was she apprehensive about the flight? She was about 2 feet away from me and talking on her cell phone. It has now been several minutes and it has become clear to me that she is alone and very upset about something that was just relayed on the phone. She kept saying "No, no no" and now my curiosity was peaked. She got off the phone, but her breathing had me concerned that she was going to pass out. Have you ever seen something going on, and you want to help or offer assistance, but not sure how or if you should? That was where I was at this point. As I debated as to whether I should approach her, two women saw her crying and did it for me. I heard them ask if she was ok, and I heard the four words no parent ever wants to say. "My daughter just died." Oh my God, I just heard a woman I don't know, utter her worst nightmare. I was stunned. My first reaction was to yell out "No" right along with her, but I certainly didn't want to draw anymore attention to this poor woman than she all ready had. I heard the ladies ask her what happened and she said, "I don't know, my mom just called and said she was dead." My first thought was, why would you call someone who was on their way home and give them this horrible news while they are among strangers and far from home. But the more I thought about it, I realized that maybe the mom was in shock as well, and never thought that the news could or should wait until she landed at home. Then one of my co-workers pointed out, that since Facebook and Twitter have become such a "I want to be the first to break the news" kind of thing, that someone who knew might have posted the news and this poor lady would have to read it on a "Friends" wall. I guess we can all say how we would have done things, but there is no good way. There isn't a way that will make it any less painful. As I sat there in that terminal, so far away from my three boys and longing to give them a big hug, I felt helpless. I couldn't help this lady and I couldn't squelch my own sadness by holding on to the three things that mean the most to me in this whole world. I felt like my plane would never get there for me to get on and get home. I choked back tears, for her and for my fear that I might get that call some day as well. We've all been in those near accidents where you know if something just a bit different happened, you might not be reading this. Or you might be without one that you love. That all came crashing down on me that afternoon and I couldn't get home fast enough. We can't keep our kids safe all of the time. And we can't keep an eye on them 100% of the time they are awake. So what do we do? Well, we teach them to stay out of the street and not to talk to strangers. We tell them not to eat stuff they find in the street and to choose their friends carefully. We tell them to do well in school and say no to drugs, We tell them to wear their seat belts and to not throw rocks or sharp objects at their brothers. But the most important thing we tell them is that we love them and the things we make them do or won't allow them to do, isn't because we are trying to be mean. No, quite the opposite. I do the things I do because I love you so much, that my heart breaks just thinking about you not being in my life. And if that makes me over protective, or paranoid, then so be it. I'm not willing to take that chance, that I will receive a phone call, in an airport, that my life has just changed for the worse, and there is nothing you can do to change that. If you have kids, give them a hug, tell them you love them, and turn off your phone.

I need a sleep numer bike seat.

So if you are friends with me on Facebook, then you know the basic part of this first story. Lets rehash and add some details. The big fourth grade bike ride is fast approaching. I was unable to go last year, but promised Makiah that this year, I would go with him. Now I use to be a big bike rider. Not fat, that is the kind of big rider I am now, but back in the day, I rode all of the the time. So as the 20 mile ride approaches, I decided that we needed to get some miles under our belts, or more to the point, under my ass. You see, the miles on the bike are little concern for my legs, but a huge concern for my ass. We decided to take the whole family to a local lake and ride around. Its a 3.2 mile trail around the lake, a great ride with lots of animals to see and places to stop and hike. At one such place, we usually stop and have a drink of water. The boys wanted to hike up a trail that runs away from the lake, so we let them head out. After a few minutes, I couldn't see them anymore, so I started to whistle for them. My kids know, you hear dad's whistle, its time to come home. After I whistled, and then didn't see them, I whistled again. And again. And again. After realizing that this was not working, I headed down the trail to find them. This trail runs for several miles along a river and the kids LOVE to play along this river. After hiking about a quarter of a mile and still not seeing them, and they weren't responding to my whistles, I started to get a little concerned. I decided that I need to get my bike, a quarter of a mile back, and go looking for them. I sprinted, okay, sprinted is a stretch, but I ran back sort of quickly, to where my bike was. I told Marcy to stay there in case they circled back. I got my cell phone and headed out down the trail in search of three soon to be in trouble boys. Now this trail is about 4 inches wide and goes through the woods in a most dangerous way. That "way", is down gulleys, over fallen trees, under leaning trees and along the river. At one point, the trail runs right up to a 20 foot drop off, right to the river. I was a bit concerned at this point, and searched the river to be sure we didn't have three swimmers. Feeling confident that they hadn't taken the plunge, I continued down the trail. Now there are forks in the trail, and I'm not 100% sure I'm on the right trail. My thought was to continue on the "biggest" trail, which means the 4 inch wide trail and not the 3 inch wide trails that broke off every so often. Now I'm flying down this trail as fast as I can, ducking under leaning tress that I pray won't scrape my back as I slide under. I go from full speed to a complete stop so I can lift my bike over the fallen trees. As you can imagine, I'm getting a little worried that my boys might be a bit more lost than I had originally thought. As I squeeze between two trees, the handle bars of my bike hit one of the trees and toss me into the tree. I wasn't hurt too bad, but my $75 bike from Target was not built for such rude treatment. As I gather myself so I can continue my search, I realize that my handle bars are no longer in their helpful position, and have now been relocated to my knees. This turn of events is not welcome, when you are trying to race through the woods. I prop them up as best I can and head off. In the distance, I see movement. Is it another deer, like the one I whizzed past a half mile back? No, it is three soon to be grounded boys, still running down the trail. At this point, we are a good mile and a half to two miles from the trail head, and I'm pissed, and completely out of breath. Now I have to whistle. My first attempt is weak and not nearly loud enough for them to hear me. In my head, I think, "You better whistle loud, or you are going to have to continue this death race down this trail." I let out a whopper, and they hear me. They start heading back towards me, so I take this time to try and catch my breath. After all, it will be really hard to yell at them if I'm passed out on the ground. They make it to me, show me the toad they caught, and seem totally oblivious to the fact that they are nearly in another state, with their mother extremely worried a few miles back. I call her, let her know I found them, but that all three might not make it back. They described the fun they had on their little trip, and I couldn't even be mad. I was so happy I found them without having to call in a search party, that my only question to them was, "Do you know how far down this trail you are?" They did not. Now I have to push my busted bike back to the main trail and ride back to the truck with my handle bars resting on my knees. I can't describe the relief I felt when I finally got them back into my sight. The boys actually were upset that I made them turn around, and ended their "adventure." Sue me.

Things I've learned, or figured out.

A few things I have learned recently.

1. I suck at NCAA pools. I've tried for years to win a pool, but have never been successful. I don't get to watch much NCAA basketball anymore, but it doesn't matter. Even when I was watching a ton a games, I sucked. I tried again this year and titled my entry "Guessing." Because that is what I do, guess. I'm glad I'm not a gambler, because we would be broke, or should I say brokER.

2. I learned that your kids do model what you do, and whether that is good or bad, is up to you. I figured this out the other day, when a family from the kids school, lost their house in a fire. The school was having a fundraiser at school and then a group that Mason is in was going to go shopping to buy items for the family. I told Mason the story, but before I could ask him if he wanted to be part of the shopping trip, he had jumped over the couch and grabbed his wallet. I asked him what he was doing and he said he wanted to help. Couldn't have been prouder. I was shocked at his exuberance, but not surprised in his heart.

3. I'm old, my body hurts, period.

4. I rule the street in basketball. If you saw my Facebook post, you all ready know. Yes, the next tallest opponent is 3 feet shorter than me. Yes, my arms are as long as they are tall. Yes, the oldest competitor, besides me, is seven. All that said, I dominate them. The first game was four of them against me, still won. Don't mess with the kid, I'll knock the Snoopy off your shirt and dunk over you like Michael Jordan over Spud Webb. That reference probably means nothing to most of you, lets say like Big Bird over Ernie. You got the picture.

5. I recently got my first smart phone. I knew I would like it, but had no idea just how much. I use mine when I'm working in the yard to listen to my favorite radio station, or Pandora radio for my favorite music or comedians. I can check Facebook anytime I want and even take pictures and post them right away. I know this isn't news to you that you can do these things, but now I can actually do them. I'm now trying to learn just how much usage 5G is. I used the online calculator to try to figure what my usage would be, before I switched from Verizon to US Cellular, but it was way off and I'm actually using less than I figured. If only Verizon would have had a desire to keep me as a customer, I would still be with them, but they seemed to not care that I was leaving. That's ok, I'm loving US Cellular so far.

6. I still hate snakes. My yard is over run with garter snakes. Maybe "over run" is a bit over stated, but I found 3 in one day and I think 1 is waaaaay too many. I know they are harmless, but the way they move and how they can disappear into a small hole like a rat, just makes me queasy. My kids and the neighbor kids are catching them so I'm thinking about paying a bounty for them. They catch them and not kill them, then haul them down the street to the creek, and I'll pay $5 a snake. I'd pay twice that, but these are kids, so my low ball offer will be snatched up in a heartbeat.

That's my lost for now, I'll update when I figure out something new.

Hello? Anybody out there?

Has it really been that long since I posted last? Wow, I'm either really busy or I had absolutely nothing to say. Truth is, a little bit of both. My life is a constant train of waking, working, washing and sleep. All of my free time is spent doing homework, cooking meals and cleaning a house that could be compared to a frat house in the cleanliness category. The best part is when I have a moment to myself, to do what I want to do. I last got to do that in 1997 and I long for that experience again, some day. With Marcy working odd hours and working on her Masters, there is little time for me to go off on my own, or spend time with her. I hope to teach the boys to get their degrees before they start a family, it seems that would be much easier. I'm not sure how she is able to write all the papers, work her jobs and travel out of state every week. Hopefully some things will get easier for her soon.

Since my last posting, not much has happened in my life. I don't get out of the house, so I haven't had the opportunity to observe the people that amusing me the most. I did have an interesting sighting at the library the other day. It seems one fellow decided to hop out of bed, and head to the library for a new read. Why bother to change out of your jammies? Why comb your hair? Shoes? Who needs them. This may sound like a tall tale, but it is all true. Dude was wearing what I would describe as pj bottoms, his hair was smashed and sticking up and he was shoeless. I first thought that he must have kicked them off when he arrived,, to keep the carpet nice I would guess, and spent the rest of the morning spreading his toe jam around for everyone to enjoy. But I saw him sit down with his pile of "stuff" that was sitting on the floor, including his computer, backpack and a pile of books, and there were no shoes to be found. Perhaps they were in the backpack, but my vote would be to just put them on and save us all the wondering.

My work travel starts up again next month, so hopefully I will again have a life worth writing about. Then again, you all may have given up on me ever writting again, and this is falling on deaf ears. I don't blame you, I about gave up on me ever writing again as well.