Now this is what you call misc.

As I'm sure you have noticed, I'm posting as often as Haley's comet comes around. It's not for the lack of stuff I want to write about, I just can't seem to find the time. If you thought I had run out of stuff that pisses me off, or makes me laugh, let this post put that out of your mind. I apologize for the randomness of this, but I have the time, so I'm cramming it all in.

I have to ask, does this add make sense? I went to an MMA bout a month or so ago and we sat at a table with a bunch of sponsor cards on the table. This one for a local bar made me wonder if I'm missing something or if this is just stupid.
"Thirsty Thursday, $10 All you can drink, free"
Am I missing something? Is there a new definition of "free" that I'm not aware of? How is $10, free? Inflation is a bitch.

I'm not sure how it works in you area, but here in Des Moines, there are a few convenience stores that have air for your car tires. Near my house, there are 3, 2 are free and the other costs $1.00. I'm a cheap ass, so I go to the free ones, but 95% of the time, they are broken. What is up with things that they are so fragile? Are they made by Fisher Price? Why can't they get these things up and running, and keep them running. This wouldn't be such a big deal, if I could find a different one that worked, like by my office. There is one free air pump by my office, which is broken as well. I don't have an issue with paying a dollar, but I never have a dollar in change in the car and I'm too damn lazy to go inside, just for change. I did find one that worked in MN, but I didn't have my tire gauge, so I couldn't use it to its full potential. Why is the air such a big deal? Well my car has a warning that comes on when a tire is low, but it doesn't tell you which one. You can't shut that light off until you get the air right, but I can't do that, so I have to look at that light every time I get in the car and it's starting to drive me nuts.

On my trip to MN a little while back, two things stuck out to me. First, in a stretch of 6 miles, I know it was six miles because it was in a construction zone and the sign said 6 miles, I passed 3 state troopers. That might not be a big deal in a lot of places, but in the middle of know where Iowa, it seems a bit extreme. I passed one 20 minutes before the zone and I passed 2 more after the zone, before the IA/MN border. That is 6 cops on an interstate cutting through some of the least populated areas of Iowa. Second, I have a very embarrassing thing happen to me on the drive up. I watched in the mirror as I was approached from behind by a disturbing sight. Then, in a flash, it whizzed passed me and I snapped this photo, if you can see it through the vapors.

Yes, that is a Smart car, and I think being passed by this type of car basically makes you an old man, so that's not good for me.

Also, while in MN, we went to a lake that Marcy visits regularly when she is up there. I have to say that the people of MN really know how to get the use of their 10,000 lakes (That is what there nickname is, if you didn't know) The lake we walked around had 2 paved paths, one for walkers and one for bikers/roller bladers. That is an awesome idea and the lake was packed with people getting use of both lanes. There was a ton of stuff to do, swimming, boating along with the previously mentioned walking, biking and roller blading. We walked around to a path that led you to another lake that had this:

A really cool place to listen to music just off the late. We sat for a short time and listened to a dog with a high pitched bark try to drown out the symphony that was trying to interrupt his repeated barking. If your dog won't shut the hell up when in public, why would you take it to a concert? Just because you can? Seemed a bit rude to me.

I mentioned in an earlier post that we are now playing slug bug. I wanted to say that MN has a crap load of Bugs and PT Cruisers. Marcy and I spent the weekend beating the crap out of each other and I noticed something on one of my sightings. I turned and punched Marcy in the arm and pointed to the Volkswagen. When I looked in the car, I saw that they were watching us and laughing. I realized that the people who were in the car must actually like watching people punch each other, just because they are near with their car. Kind of makes you want to get one, doesn't it?

We took Makiah to Toys-R-Us the other day to pick out his birthday present. While we were there, Marcy spotted this sign:

OK, why would you even print a sign that brags about saving "over a dollar" on a nearly $100 item? If you can't see it, the original price is $99.99, so while the savings IS over a dollar, its over a dollar by $.01. Hardly seems worth the paper it's printed on. Are they f'ing with us, or are they seriously promoting a $1.01 sale on a $100 item?

We have a 2001 Dodge Caravan. It has been a good car, but is starting to fall apart. One thing that broke a few years back, is the passenger side window no longer rolls down. It hasn't really been an issue, until recently, when the air conditioner went out. Now, we only had one window that goes down and the back of the van on a 100 degree day gets a bit steamy. We went down to Mt. Pleasant to pick up the boys, who had spent a week at Uncle Rob and Aunt Stacy's house (which they loved) On the way home, with one window down and the wind blowing in air that felt like it was coming out of an oven, Makiah informed us that he was going to throw up. I don't know if it was all because of the heat, but it certainly didn't help the situation. We pulled off the highway in Oskaloosa to get the boys something to eat and to cool off a bit. As we were approaching the turn into Mcdonalds, the van died. This is never a good thing, but at this time in our lives, a big car repair bill was not something I wanted to think about. Marcy got it started, but the van coughed and sputtered and wanted to die again. I told Marcy not to turn in front of the on coming traffic, seeing as how it might die and we would get t-boned. We drove a little further at a blistering pace of a few miles an hour, where it died again, right on the railroad tracks. I've heard about cars getting hit by trains and I could never figure out how. Now I know one possibility. Marcy got it going again and I shut off the "air conditioner" that was currently blow warm air. The van stopped sputtering and we were able to get it out of the road. Long story just slightly shorter, we were able to get the car home without an further incident. It was starting to get dark, so it was much cooler. I was terrified to take it to a mechanic so they could tell me I could pay $800 to fix the window or $1000 to fix the AC. I have no idea what it would have been, but I didn't want to hear it. We had been talking to Marcy's dad, while in Mt Pleasant and on the drive home, and he said he would help us get a new safe van for, really, Marcy and the boys to ride around in. I rarely drive the van, except for the last 6 months, so I was glad that they would soon have a safe reliable vehicle to get to MN and school. Marcy's parents picked out a van and kept it a secret from us until they showed up with it. It is fantastic, lots of cool features including dual dvd players to keep the boys occupied on trips. I got to drive it for a few days while Marcy was out of town, but she has it now and I'm guessing I'll never drive it again. But that's ok, the best features are aimed at the passengers, and that is what I will be soon.

OK, I'm tired, that is enough for now.

Day one complete

Well day one is in the books and I can't tell you how glad I am that I scheduled this. Todays course had 21 holes and is built around a campground. There are several ponds that come into play, but they are pretty easy to navigate around, or over. I had printed off a map from the Internet, but left it in the car and was to lazy to walk back to get it, even though it was only a short distance. My hope was that I would be able to figure it out just by looking, which for the most part, I was. The first 14 holes are in and out of the woods, but mainly in. The last 7 are out in the open, so you don't have to be as careful and can just throw the disc as hard as you can. I loved the course. I met the owner of the campground and talked about the course and the improvements that he has made and is currently working on. Some of the holes still have dirt tee boxes, but most are concrete and the rest are framed up, just waiting to pour the concrete. He said he is holding a disc golf tournament in Sept., with music and other activities, sounds like fun. I'm not really into tournaments, I just play for fun, but he is calling it "Discstock," so I bet it will be a drunk bash. I'm going to try and set up a weekend trip with friends to hit a few courses each day, maybe we start or finish here. The owner asked me if I thought of any changes he could make. I suggested he have the snake removed from the 7th fairway, scared the crap out of me. He reminded me it was just a garter, I informed him I could care less. To me, a garter is the same as a rattler. Got the heart rate up. I should have asked him if he could do anything about the skeeters, they are as big as sparrows.

The day continued to heaven, lunch at White Castle. (Yes I'm aware that I have an issue here) I had forgotten that I left my GPS in the van, which Marcy now had in MN, so I had to rely on my memory from 4 months ago as to where it was. I am totally motivated when it comes to the Castle, found it on my first try in a city I have no idea how to get around in. I remembered how to get to the hotel and they allowed me to check in early. I was able to hit the pool and hot tub, which I had all to myself, so the morning and afternoon were great. I really enjoyed my day and I'm looking forward to my trip to the other course tomorrow. I was going to try and squeeze it in before my meeting, but I think I will save it until after. I might be able to hit the Castle before I head home on Sat. Keep your fingers crossed, all of mine are.

Officer, I was just playing a game.

Wow! Has it been that long since I have posted anything other than mug shots that I make stupid comments about? Apparently so. Well here is my new post, but I'm guessing it won't be any smarter than "Sweet hair."

Little tip for you. I found a perfectly acceptable way to beat the crap out of your husband/wife, and the police can't do anything about it. You may have done it as a child. It has recently been made popular again by a commercial. If you haven't all ready guessed, its Slug Bug. I'm guessing you played it when you were a kid, but maybe you out grew it. Lets just say it is running rampant in our family, but luckily the kids haven't figured out that you are actually SUPPOSED to hit the person. They just say "Slug bug" and call it good. Marcy and I are in the front seat beating the shit out of each other. I know eventually we will be pulled over by the police and I will be removed from the vehicle, at gun point, for abusing my wife, which I am. I would like to point out that she is beating the crap out of me as well, but she isn't as good as I am at the game, so I'm guessing whoever called the police after witnessing our game, only saw me winning. Now I'm not one to promote abuse, in any way, but this one. Marcy has added a new twist that she learned from a friend, called Cruiser Bruiser. Same concept as Slug Bug, only for PT Cruisers. You would be amazed at how many Volkswagen bugs and PT Cruisers there are on the road. You'd also be quick to realize that it is much easier to excel at this game if you are ridding in the passenger seat, so you don't have to deal with those pesky road rules you have to pay attention to if you are driving. Marcy and I walked down to a nearby restaurant last night for dinner and then over to the library and then home. If people were watching us, they might think we were fighting for the number of times we hit each other. Luckily, we made it home, but there were police all over our neighborhood. Hmmmmm?

As I write this, I am preparing for a Disc golf outing that will take me to a few courses in MN that I have never played before. They will be my first ever "Pay to Play" courses, which I normally would be against. One of the things I love about disc golf is, it's free to play. Why would I pay to play a course when there are so many free ones nearby? Well, because the pictures of one of the courses makes it look like a real golf course. Most courses are in public parks and are basically paths cut through the woods, paths mowed in the grass or just baskets placed around an all ready established park. All that is great, but some don't get the care that would make them even nicer. I'm not complaining, if a disc golfer is one thing, its adaptable. If you want to play, and the course isn't a priority of the parks department, you have to deal with obstacles in your path, like picnic tables, playground equipment and an occasional person. You also have to deal with flooded tee boxes and fairways. Some of the courses don't have concrete tee boxes, so they are usually mud. A true disc golfer shrugs this off and throws from either the middle of the mud, or steps three feet to the side and throws from the pile of garbage that people left behind, and the parks department doesn't feel the need to clean up. The course I'm playing on Friday looks like Tiger Woods might step out of the club house to play a round. I'll try to get some pictures and update you on my day. Tomorrows course is a big one, 21 holes, but looks like a lot of fun. I have my sun screen and bug spray all ready to go. I'll haul some water with me, since the heat index was 116 degrees today. Maybe it will be cooler in the north. Wish me luck.

Not again...

Here are a few more criminals.

First off, this guy was REALLY resisting.


Dude, dude, dude looks like a lady.


Excuse me sir, can you please look up?


Sir, can YOU look up?


This guys got fricking horns or something.


Song from the 80's or 90's, "Turn around, bright eyes."


SWEEEET HAIR!!!!!!!


Oops, she forgot her teeth.


And finally, this is an awesome mullet soul patch combo.