Have you seen my shoe?

I know you've seen it, we all have. Your driving down the road, look out the window, and there it is, in all of it's solitude. A shoe. It's usually a tennis shoe, but I've seen a boot or a loafer here and there. Sometimes you even see it's mate a little further down the road. I've always wondered, how do they get there? It's hard to believe that the shoes were on somebody when they ended up there, although a good boyfriend/girlfriend fight with a drive off and one holding on to the car is a possibility, but I'm guessing it is far less interesting. I saw a guy pull away from his apartment building with his shoes on the roof, I'm guessing he put them up there to put stuff in the car and forgot them. If they made it to the gym still clinging to the roof, I'm sure he had a good laugh. My guess is he spent the rest of the day wondering who the hell broke into his car, while he was in it, and took his shoes. That is what I would be thinking, knowing there was no way I lost them. The other day I was filling my car with gas and saw this:

I'm not sure what happened here that the shoe was left sitting by the gas pump. Was the person so drunk they walked out of their shoe, without realizing it? Did they knock it out when they got out to pump? I can't think of one scenario that makes sense, other than one brother tossing his pesky brothers shoe out the window when he wasn't looking, just for payback for something he did. I left it there, just in case the guy came back looking for it, but you got to wonder what the hell is happening out there. By the way, if you are in need of a size seven tennis shoe, check out the parking lot of the Kum and Go by my house. for those of you not from Iowa, yes I'm aware that the name of that convenience store is disturbing, no need to point it out.

More criminals

I found some more, this seems to be an endless source of humor to me. If you don't find them funny, you can skip this post.

So you thought the Mohawk had gone out of style? Not in the great state of Iowa.





Don't you have to LOOK at the camera?


And more people sleeping during their photo shoot.





And finally, the hairdo of the week.

I'm not sure if she is holding it up, it's stuck like that or if they have a fan to give that oh so sexy white trash wind blown hair look.

Funny

I saw this in the Mcdonalds bathroom, made me laugh.

While I was taking this, the urinal that Makiah just flushed was over flowing. Sorry, no pictures of that.

Here is my glorious lunch from yesterday.

What year is this?

I FOUND WHITE CASTLE!!!!! I've had my slider fix, so all is well in the world again. The drive up here was interesting. I picked up a radio station in northern Iowa that actually had a commercial for Slinky. I thought I had traveled back in time to the 1960's. Do we really need a commercial for an American icon? Are the marketing dollars of the Slinky corporation being well spent with a 60 second radio add airing in the middle of know where Iowa? Maybe they got a deal. A few more miles down the road and something hit the windshield. I figured it was a rock from the truck ahead, so I just ignored it. Suddenly, there was another, then another, I thought I was being shot at. Then I saw it. It was corn blowing out the top of the semi in front of me, because they didn't close the tarp on top. I'm very familiar with these trucks, even though my farming experience consists of dropping sticks on piles of tobacco for my grandfather, picking up potatoes after they had been plowed, and picking beans with my grandmother. All great memories, but doesn't make me a farmer. No, my knowledge of corn trucks is from the trucks that line up at the elevator down the street from my office. They have tarps over there trailers and we still end up with corn or soybeans all over the road. I'm guessing this guys trailer was empty by the time he got to his elevator. Hopefully, the drive home tomorrow, will have less potential damage to my van.

The small things make me happy

I'm a pretty simple guy, it doesn't take much to make me happy. A cold Coke in the morning. Maybe some time alone on the back deck with said Coke and the paper or a good book. Maybe a mid morning stroll around the neighborhood while drinking a Coke. There is a whole variety of things, all completely different, yet all give me the same pleasure. I'll let you in on a little secret that makes me happy that some of you might not be aware of. I'm addicted to Sliders. I'm guessing most of you know what a Slider is, but just in case you don't, they are little hamburgers from heaven. I bet some of you think they are gross. You are wrong! I was in Chicago last summer and lucked up on a White Castle and damn near killed a bus load of kids and nuns trying to get there. My friend thought I was crazy when I got back to the warehouse, she doesn't see the glory of them. My brother Brian and I have been known to travel out of our way, just so we can hit one. We have been known to eat lunch at 10:30am, just so we could have some. There are no White Castles in Iowa, a travesty. The closest WC's are in Minnesota, but I have never been able to find one. I'm heading to Minnesota in the morning and have just spent 20 minutes researching addresses and plugging them into my GPS. It appears I have driven right by one several times, but can't see it from the highway and they don't have a sign telling you to exit here for pure excitement. I'll let you know if I find it, my goal is to hit the city between noon and 1pm, so I can drive through. Keep your fingers crossed I can find it, I'll let you know.

Sorry about that.

I received a call tonight and the girl on the other end asked me if I could hear her OK. This was before I knew what the call was about, but she was kind of going in and out, like she was on a cell phone. I said I could hear her and she jumped into a speech about health care reform and some senator, I didn't quite hear her because I was working on my out. I used her own question to help me out. I told her she was fading in and out and I couldn't, click, I hung up on her. I know that sounds lame, but I had no interest, zero, in listening to her sermon on which ever side of reform she was on. The kids heard me, so I went right into the "I got disconnected" excuse. I'm not proud of myself. (yes I am:)

Two of my nieces are here tonight and it was hilarious to see them slide down the stairs in sleeping bags with the boys. Better them than me because it looked like it would really hurt. They are still young enough that maybe they will be fine in the morning. I would be sore for a week.

Quote of the year

I mentioned that this past summer I was lucky enough to volunteer for Habitat For Humanity, which my church had partnered with to frame up some houses. I don't know if I mentioned, that I was asked to do an "interview" with someone to be used in a newsletter or promotional material. The newsletter is out and here is my big quote:

The work done at Lutheran Church of Hope was the first time Mark Shrum, who works in inventory control for a plastics distributor, had volunteered his talents to Habitat. “I’ll do it again,” he says. “It was very enjoyable. “I think it went over really well at the church. The leaders felt it went well, and it’s my impression we will do more in the future.”

Now, I don't remember the interview, but the word "enjoyable" isn't a word I use very often. Am I claiming I was mis-quoted? Well, no, its harmless either way, and maybe I said it, but I've run into things like this before. The things you say during the interview that seem the least important or are really dumb, is exactly what is printed/spoke and it is so out of context, that it sounds stupid or you sound like an ass. This quote was just kind of lame, but in the writers defense, I don't remember saying anything that was memorable. Chad and I discussed what we could/should say when we were interviewed and lets just say 99% of it wouldn't have been helpful, to anyone, but it kept us entertained for awhile. The last time I had this experience, I was being interviewed by a minister who was doing the eulogy for my step father. We spoke for quite some time about growing up with Bill as my father and how things were. I made a comment about how we didn't always get along, and of course, that was my quote spoken to the church. Nice. Oh well, another lame quote for my scrapbook, this blog.

another song

One of the things I love about Christain music, is it paints a picture of love, life and loss, with God as the answer. There are so many songs that I hear and when I listen to the lyrics, I hear something that I need to hear. Or maybe I think someone else needs to hear. There is a band, SuperChick, that Marcy and I have seen several times and really like. They have a song called "We Live," that I heard again the other day and the lyrics really hit me. They talk about how our life is not our own, but we need to live our lives as if today is our last day, because it just might be. The line "So how does the story end? Well, this is your story And it all depends. So don't let it become true, Get out and do what we were meant to do," really gets me. Don't sit back and feel sorry for yourself for the situation you are in, if you aren't happy, change it. Don't just sit there doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results. I think I heard that is the definition of insanity. This is another one, if you have the ability to listen to the lyrics and read them, much better.

There's a cross
On the side of the road
Where a mother lost her son
How could she know that
The morning he left
Would be their last time,
She'd trade with for a little more time
(So she could say she loved him one last time)
And hold him tight?

But with life,
We never know
When we're coming up to
The end of the road.

So what do we do then,
With tragedy around the bend?

[Chorus x2]
We live,
We love,
We forgive,
And never give up,
'Cause the days we are given
Are gifts from above,
And today we remember to live and to love,

There's a man
Who waits for the tests to
See if the cancer had spread yet
And now he asks,
'So why did I
Wait to live
'Til it was time to die?
If I could have the time back, how I'd live,
Life is such a gift'

So how does the story end?
Well, this is your story
And it all depends.
So don't let it become true,
Get out and do what we were meant to do

[Chorus x2]
We live,
We love,
We forgive,
And never give up,
'Cause the days we are given
Are gifts from above,
And today we remember
To live and to love.

Waking up to another dark morning,
People are mourning,
The weather in life outside is stormin'.

But what would it take
For the clouds to break,
For us to realize each day
Is a gift somehow,
Someway?

And get our heads up out of this darkness
And spark this
New mindset
And start on with life,
'Cause it ain't gone yet
And tragedy's a reminder
To take off the blinders and wake up,
(To live the life)
We're supposed to take up,
(Moving forward)
With all our heads up,
'Cause life is worth living!

[Chorus x2]
We live,
We love,
We forgive,
And never give up,
'Cause the days we are given
Are gifts from above,
And today we remember
To live and to love

We live,
We love,
[We live]
We forgive,
And never give up,
[We love]
'Cause the days we are given
Are gifts from above,
And today we remember
To live and to love

We live,
We love,
[We live]
We forgive,
And never give up,
[We love]
'Cause the days we are given
Are gifts from above,
And today we remember
To live and to love.
[Today we live and love]

Words to live by. Amen!

Jail

So here are a few more jailhouse pictures.

This guys seems a bit upset about his arrest.


Here are some hair photos:


SEXY!!!!


Here are some really happy people:






This last guy looks like he is posing for his high school senior picture.

Just a few that made me laugh.