Bucket

So I mentioned awhile back that I didn't have an actual bucket list, but I think they can be good ideas, as long as you don't see your life as a failure if you don't accomplish your list. Marcy and I started discussing our mental lists on the way to MN and realized that most of our list was comprised of travel, which is probably common. Although I don't actually have the list written down yet, I'm thinking I will just add a menu choice of "Bucket List" on this blog and add as I think of them. Seeing as how my memory isn't always what I want it to be, this will help me to remember my choices.

First off, I want to take a 2 week vacation, with no agenda, no destination and not even a direction. Load up the car and roll the dice. Roll a one, you go North, roll a two, you go east and so on. You say there are six sides to a dice and four directions, well then, plug something into the other numbers regarding roads that leave from your current spot. Is there a road that goes NE from where you are? That's a five on the dice. I think you get the point. Now, to figure out where to go, hit the next visitors center and start pulling brochures, or cheap hotels have the brochures as well, like the Super 4 we stayed in the other night. Ask the kids, what do you want to see? The worlds biggest ball of twine? Lets go. Can you imagine the blog posts I would have for a vacation filled with the worlds biggest this and the worlds smallest that? If you don't have an agenda, there isn't as much pressure to be "there" or see "that." Would it work? No idea, but it sounds like fun to me. My kids might not see the thrill in it, but if they are helping in the decisions, maybe they would enjoy it. "Where are you going on vacation?" Where ever the road, and dice, take us.

There are several places in the US that I want to see, the Grand Canyon from the ground, Glacier National Park, and Alaska. Those are the ones I have thought of so far, but I'm sure I will remember more that I have read about before and have just forgotten.

I've all ready cleared some off my list, and even did a few things that I would have had on my list, if I had had one. I've been to Hawaii, which definitely would have been on my list. I went to South Africa and got to ride around in an open air jeep with lions all around. I walked up to a Cape Buffalo, one of the big five African animals, and didn't shit myself. OK, maybe a little, but we were close and that was one big ass animal. That was probably something I never would have put on my list, because I would have though it was out of reach. I guess that isn't the point of the list, maybe you should shoot for the moon. Maybe not the moon, although that might not be out of the question soon. I was excited to hear what Marcy's list would look like as well. I was happy to hear we both had Grand Canyon and Alaska on our list and she had a different national park, but we are in the same category anyway. She liked my roll the dice vacation, so maybe I will start to refine that idea, so if we ever have the money to do it, we can. Now that I'm learning her list, I hope to be able to make some of those come true. I hope my surprise trip to Hawaii knocked a entry off her list. I know she would love to go to South Africa, and since I now have a connection to make that happen, the money is all that separates her from a pant load of crap after she sees what I saw.

Lesson learned.

So our hotel last night, which turned out to only be a 4 on the super scale instead of an 8, was close to the Mall of America. We decided to head over to the mall and find a place to eat. Largest mall in America, surely we can find a place to eat. We ended up at the Rainforest Cafe. If you've never been to one, they are all right. Food isn't bad, although expensive, and the atmosphere is pretty cool for kids, which we were without, so not nearly as impressive as it would have been. Their mascot is a frog, which Marcy loves, so we can at least go through the gift shop and see 100 things Marcy would like to have, but not buy. So I titled this post "Lesson Learned," so what did I learn? Well this place has large fish tanks all over the restaurant, and our table pushed up against one. Here is my dinner view:

As you can see, not bad. I like the blue fish, no idea what they are called, but they relax me with their smooth swimming and soothing blue color. OK, it's a fish, it's mesmerizing to watch them, I think I dozed off three times at dinner. So this seat just appears to be the best in the house, which is what the waiter said when he sat us there, but I'm here to tell you, not the best seat. Why you may be asking yourself? Well, because every kid in that restaurant wants to come see fricking Nemo, who is a foot from my dinner plate. The whole meal I have kids standing right behind my chair, openly praying that they might be able to find Nemo in this tank of fish. My mind wanted to comment to Marcy after we began eating "This fried Nemo is the best." Somehow I don't think my comment about eating their favorite movie character would have gone over well, so I stifled the urge. Along with these kids, came the parents, so I really felt I was in some slow, small, eating contest. I mean I had an audience, all be it not all of them were looking at me, but it sure as hell felt like it. One of the kids brought his grandma over and they were at the edge of the tank in front of me, so every bite I took, I'm looking into her eyes. I wanted to say, "Hey granny, divert your eyes and get junior out of here so I can continue my inappropriate conversation with my wife!" I can't have a conversation like that at home with my kids around, so we wait until we are in another state and someone else's kids are around. Maybe our conversation wasn't inappropriate, but if I think you are listening, I just might turn it that way. This is also one of those restaurant's that make a ruckus and sings to you on your birthday, which I hate. Not so much when they do it to someone else, but I don't want some waiter singing a birthday song to me and I don't want to be at the table if they are singing to someone else. I told Marcy if they come back out, they had all ready been out twice, that I wanted her to jump into the group of waiter/waitresses and start singing along. They can't kick you out for that, can they? That would make for a great blog story, but an embarrassing police report. They didn't come back out, so the world missed out on Marcy's public singing, but there is always next time. All in all, not a bad meal, but if you ever go to a theme restaurant, without kids, and the waiter says "This is my favorite table," ask to be moved. You are welcome.

Not again.

Oh yes, again.

I can't help it, I have an addiction. I have no idea why, as soon as I hit the Twin Cities, I start jonesing for a Slider. I made Marcy take this picture just so I could post it on Facebook to gross out one friend and sent it via my phone to my brother Brian and a co-worker. I tried to get Marcy to let me take a picture of her fake eating one, but I don't think she could get the burger near her face without gagging. She doesn't eat meat, which I'm not sure what is on a Slider could technically called meat, but it's close. Like John Capparulo says, "It's playing the fucking part." So as you can tell, I'm back in Minneapolis for a quick trip, then heading home tomorrow. We are staying in a fancy hotel tonight, I think it is a Super 8, which I think means on the super scale, its an 8. Not bad, that's how we roll. I didn't bring my tux, so I hope they don't look at me funny when I stroll through the lobby.

On our drive up, we were passed by four motorcycles that said "Patriot Guard." I see them on TV all the time, escorting our fallen soldiers with Old Glory flying high. It puts a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye every time. I wasn't sure if it was them until they were passed, or I would have made a lame attempt to show them I was proud of what they do. I'm not sure if other countries have the same kind of group, but they should. The best thing I have ever seen them do, is stand between the protesters from that church in Crazyass, OK, or where ever they are from, and the mourners of a soldiers funeral. I know they have their beliefs, and their rights, but I wish an out of control semi would take them all out the next time they protest one of our men/women in uniform. So this group passes us and all I can do is hope they are at the next stop we are at so I can take a picture of them and thank them. Next stop, no luck. As we start up again, I see a few more, then we go under an overpass and I see a firetruck covered in flags parked above. The fireman were out, so I knew the funeral procession was coming from behind us. We passed 5 or 6 more firetrucks, flags a flying, and my heart pounded. THIS is true American pride. I'm a big fan of America and this was about as good of a display as I had ever seen. I so badly wanted to stop and stand on that overpass and place my hand on my heart as our hero passed under me. Time didn't permit it, but it was on my heart and that soldiers family, who ever they were, are in my prayers. God Bless the men and women who fight for us, and God Bless America!

I had, the time of my life.

Saturday night, I spent the evening with a bunch of people I worked with 10 years ago, or more. This company was my first "real" job, whatever that means. I'm pretty sure the hours I spent at Taco Bell, serving tacos to the inebriated is considered a real job, but since I had no intention of it being my career, I always looked at it as a temporary stop on my road of life. I lucked into my job at CE, my best friends mom worked there and knew they were looking for someone in their production area to label computer diskettes and pack programs into boxes to ship to customers. It wasn't rocket science, but it got my foot in the door. I put in 15 years at the most fun place I've ever worked at. So Saturday night, a group of former CE employees got together to reminisce and catch up. I remember so many funny stories that one night wasn't enough to get them all back out. Of course, there were a bunch I had forgotten and enjoyed the refresher. Here's a few samples:

Here in Des Monies, there use to be a place called Big Daddy's BBQ. Now Big Daddy was know for making some incredible sauce, HOT sauce. So when a new guy joined the CE team, and started bragging about how hot he liked his food, it was suggested that he be taken to Big Daddy's and taught a lesson. The next time I saw that guy, he had black circles around his eyes and looked like he was dead, up until he came back to life and came to work. I asked him what happened and he said he was in the hospital because after he ate 1/2 of the sandwich at Big Daddy's, he threw up so much he burst the blood vessels around his eyes. He told me he still wasn't right, on the stomach and pooper side, but at least his tongue wasn't numb anymore. What a glass is half full kind of guy. There was one thing I learned from that. Don't challenge Big Daddy. You will loose.

My favorite story EVER from CE, was when we had a computer programmer visiting us from China. He was leaving our building for lunch with a bunch of other programmers. He came down the stairs and made a sharp left turn to head out the door to the parking lot. Unfortunately, the doors were not located at the sharp left location he was attempting to exit. No, the doors were actually about six feet to his right. So where did he attempt to exit? Through a 8 foot by 12 foot sheet of glass, which thankfully did not shatter when he smashed his face into it at full speed. It sounded as though he hit it three times, perhaps his head was bouncing off the glass, but it sounded horrific. I happen to be upstairs, just out of view of the impact area, but as soon as I heard it, I ran out to look over the balcony, to see the guy run out to his lunch group like nothing happened. I asked the ladies at the front desk who appeared to be in shock. They told me what happened, so I headed over to the glass and found a perfect face print on the glass, including forehead, nose, cheeks, chin and even eyelashes. To say that he hit it hard would be the understatement of the year. I laughed so I hard I nearly pee'd myself, and I wasn't alone. I think productivity was done for the day.

There were tons more, like putting a motion activated recorder, that when placed behind a toilet, scares the crap out of people when they go to use that toilet and it says "I'm watching you." Removing the pins from the hinges on a door, so when the person opens that door, it comes off the hinges and smashes the guy in the face. Many things were shrunk wrapped, which if you don't know what that is, wrap something in Saran wrap, and then heating it until it is super tight. Now imagine everything on your desk being wrapped, individual pens, stapler, tape dispenser, keyboard, mouse and anything else we could get our hands on. We covered a guys office floor and chairs with computer diskette labels. It was actually pretty cool looking and the guy loved it. Taught him to lock his office when he went to lunch though. We boxed up a girls car when she left it in the parking lot and went out of town. We had several days to work on that one. We had a big snow one year and a guy had left his car in the parking lot. After the plow truck sort of buried his car, we got out our shovels and finished the job. His car was buried under 3 feet of snow, then we watered it so it was icy.

I slept at the office on numerous occasions. One night, we were working late and it was about 2am. The cleaning crew was just wrapping up and getting ready to leave. We had spoken to them several times, so they knew we were there. I was using the restroom, when I heard over the loud speaker, "You have violated a restricted area, the police have been notified." I thought that was odd, so I headed out to the alarm panel, just in time to see the cleaning people look at me, then run for the parking lot. Somehow, they had forgotten we were in the building and set the alarm on us. Nice.

Everyday at this place was an adventure. The thing I remember most was, it was a family. We were together so much, it was our home away from home. How do I know it was family. Ask anyone who worked there and they'll tell you the same thing. It was a unique place, nothing I had heard of before or after. What group has a work reunion, 10 years after it, in all honesty, died. Half the people at that reunion were either laid off or fired. You get laid off from a company, do you go back to see the people that did it? I suggest that this might be a first. Do you hug your co-workers? I did. Do you tell your co-workers that you love them? I did. Still do. It was a great time in my life, a time I will never forget. Plans are in the works for next years get togther, and I can't wait. Hopefully more people can make it and more stories can be shared.

Pepper soup, pepper pancakes and pepper pie.

I'm not sure if I mentioned that we planted a garden again this year, but we did. This years attempt includes zucchini, tomatoes, cherry tomatoes, squash, cucumber, green peppers, yellow peppers, red peppers, jalapenos and sweet potatoes. We have had a pretty good year, with a few exceptions. The first garden we ever planted, we had so many cucumbers that I was hauling several a day to work to give to co-workers. The next 2 years, next to nothing. The first year we had a bunch of tomatoes, but none turned red, so basically a flop. The first couple of years we have had a few green peppers per plant, but not as many as we want, so this year we planted 4 green pepper plants, a yellow and a red. The green pepper plants, at today's viewing, have approximately 10,000 peppers growing. That might be a bit overstated, but there are a ton. I might just be hauling these in to work, if they grow big enough and we can't keep up with eating them. We are going to have to get creative in our recipes and include peppers in everything. Do you think the boys will eat peppers in their cereal? The yellow pepper plant has 2 yellow peppers and a bunch that are still green and growing. The red pepper plant waited the whole summer to give off its first pepper, so it better be good. The cucumbers are a huge disappointment. We have 4 plants and have gotten a total of 2 good cucumbers and one shitty one. I'm not sure what the deal is, except for that the sweet potato plants are right by them, so maybe that has something to do with it. We learn new things every year and try to incorporate that into next years garden. For instance, the zucchini plant grew so big, it smothered the life out of 2 squash plants, killing them. We got bugs that ate the few squash fruit from another plant, before I even noticed they were there. The jalapeno plant is plugging right along, producing just enough for me to eat and they aren't too hot. In fact, could be a bit hotter for my taste, but no complaints. I almost forgot, Max brought home a pumpkin plant that we planted in the garden with little hope of it doing anything. It has grown and wrapped itself all around the garden and now has 2 little pumpkins that are starting to grow. The problem is, the plant has attached itself to the top of my rabbit fence and when they start to get bigger, they are going to either fall off due to the weight, or they are going to rip my fence down. I've considered cutting the little grabber vines that caused the vine to be at the top of my fence, and then lay the vine on the ground. I need to figure out if that will hurt the plant if I cut all those little vines. They grow fast and hold tight, so it would take a bit of work. This vine grew about a foot a day for over a week and the grabber vines grew faster than that. I'm sure if you sat there and watched them at peak growing, you could see them move with the naked eye. My scheduled didn't permit me to sit and stare at my garden for a day, so I missed it. Should have gotten NatGeo to film it. All that being said, it's been a pretty good year so far. I'm anxious to see if the sweet potatoes come out and whether we get to avoid buying Halloween pumpkins, because we grew our own. A pumpkin with a fence growing through the middle of it will be hard to carve. Here is a shot of todays tomato harvest.

Excuse me? Are you serious?

I just had to comment on an article I just read, about a kid who plotted and stabbed his teacher. The puzzling part of the article, was when the judge made a statement that just floored me. The defense attorneys ask for the teen to have a mental evaluation, which seemed reasonable to me. The judge agreed to the evaluation, and said, "to see if he is a threat to himself, or the community." Did I miss something? Didn't he all ready kill someone? I guess that isn't a threat, it's an action, so the statement is valid. OK, he killed someone, perhaps we should take away his "Happy camper" button and send him to his room, WITHOUT supper. Or maybe we should have a professional take a look at him. Yeah, lets do that one.

Add it to the list.

Have you ever had one of those days when you are getting all pumped up for something that is happening that night, only to have the rug ripped out from under you and the whole thing goes into the crapper?  Welcome to my Thursday night.  I'd been looking forward to last nights concert from the day I heard about it.  Got more excited when I purchased four tickets to attend the concert and spent all day Thursday at work talking about it.  The concert, was Casting Crowns, which is one of mine and Marcy's favorite bands.  We have probably seen them 12 times over the years, and never get tired of them.  They are kind of our Grateful Dead, because we would, and have, traveled great distances to see them.  Last night they were the opening band at the Iowa State Fair.  Now the Fair Grandstand isn't my favorite place to see a concert, since the last time I saw them there, my seat was right behind a poll.  That whole night, I could hear the lead singer, but could only see him if he ventured to the fringe of the stage.  So you can tell I didn't get to go, and I'm guessing that you are slightly interested in why I couldn't go.  I'm not full of myself so that I think you won't be able to sleep if I don't spill the beans, but I do know you will be disappointed in the reason, since it wasn't because I was arrested in a pre-concert road rage accident and it wasn't because something "better" came along.  No, we missed the concert due to a sick kid.  Not just sick, but strep, the fun one.  What are you going to do?  It's way to late to trade the kids in for a couple of ponies.  No, we have them, for better or for worse, and last night was one of the "worse" nights.  I felt sorry for Max, he felt like crap, but he could care less that Marcy and I were going to miss our only night out, for just the two of us, all summer.  With our current schedules, me working days and Marcy working nights, quality time is next to zero.  Summer is drawing to the end, the boys will be back in school, and hopefully Marcy will be able to get more day hours so we can go back to being a family.  I'm happy to say that Max is doing better after the antibiotic kicked in, but the two tickets to Casting Crowns at the Iowa State Fair are still in my wallet, I don't have the stomach to throw away the $70 that I spent on them.  Perhaps I can come up with a craft that I can incorporate them into, along with the other things my kids have cost me.  I'd have to include about a pint of blood in the craft, to cover the cuts and bloody noses they have given me.  There would be a lot of sweat, for pushing them around the yard in a wheel barrow in a dead sprint, with them yelling "Faster, Faster, Faster" and "Don't stop, keep running."  Kiss my ass, dad is pooped.  Ala Mike Tyson, there must be a piece of my ear.  No, they didn't bite my ear, but it has nearly been ripped off numerous times during wrestling matches or the dismount of a shoulder or piggyback ride.  My hair.  Nearly 25 minutes of every movie we have tried to watch together, and then you can take another 15 minutes off for every movie I have watched with Marcy AND the boys.  My ability to read, poop or talk on the phone without someone asking a question or telling on their brother(s).  I'm not sure how you could incorporate any of that into a craft, perhaps a collage?  No wait, that would be gross.  That all being said, I love those kids and would trade everything I have for them, so I guess I will let this incident slide.  This time. 

 

I can't remember if I ever told the story of when I met the lead singer of Casting Crowns, so here it is.  We were at Sonshine Festival a few years back and noticed the lead singer walking around in the crowd.  We said hello, recognizing him and he said he was looking for his drummer.  I love their drummer.  He is hilarious behind the kit and can play really well.  We started looking for him, hoping I could meet him as well.  The funny part was, the lead singer came over to us as we were chatting about the drummer being lost in the crowd, and introduced himself to us.  He said, "Hi, I'm Mark."  First off, great name, kudos to mom and pop Hall for naming him that.  Second, no shit, why do you think we are here.  Couldn't have been a nicer guy for the couple of minutes we spoke with him, and to be humble enough to think that someone at a Christian Music festival wouldn't know who he was, was refreshing.  There were probably a lot of people in MN that year who wouldn't be able to pick him out of a line up, but HE didn't know that, he just didn't assume we knew who he was.  He didn't say he was the lead singer of Casting Crowns, he was just Mark. (again, kudos)  I like humble people.  I like people who I look at as role models, to have no idea people look at them that way.  Our encounter was topped up by a rogue football that came into the crowd, struck a girl in the back of the head and then landed in Mark Hall's hands.  The girl turned around, rubbing her head, to see Mark holding the football.  I told him, "You better get rid of that ball, you look guilty."  He then went into his best "I didn't do it speech," but even he wasn't buying it.  I'm not sure if that girl ever believed him, or knew who he was, but I got a good laugh out of it, and that's all that matters.

Is she dead?

OK, this may be the scariest looking woman I have ever seen, the one on the right. I realize the one on the left is hot, and soon to be wealthy.

This is Maria del Rosario Cayetana Alfonsa Victoria Eugenia Francisca Fitz-James Stuart y de Silva, the Duchess of Alba, and she is 85 years old. It appears that the MEANT to say that she has been dead for 85 years, so her actual age is un-known. Now I'm no model, not much to look at, but I'm also not worth 850 million to 5 billion dollars. That is the range of her wealth that I found. That seems like a huge range, but once you get 300 million dollars, it's all a blurr after that. The story I read was about her marring a guy 24 years her junior. My first thought was, he is in it for the money. But just look at her, who wouldn't want to wake up in a cold sweat and check her pulse every morning. I think she was the crypt keeper back in the 90's. The story goes on to say that she is giving all of her money to her kids before she gets married to prove the marriage is for the right reasons. I wonder if she would like to adopt a bald man from Iowa? Would I have to kiss her good night? Never mind, I'll stay poor.

RIP!

It's always a sad day when you loose a member of the family. You might not even be that close, but when they pass, it hurts. We have been expecting this for quite some time, he lived longer than we were told he would. I'm not sure how old he was, but I've personally known him since May 31st, 2010, when we proudly brought him home. If you are a long time follower of this blog, you may remember the day he joined our family, I wrote about him then. Of course I'm talking about Kirby, the green anole. He just might have been the most worthless pet you could own, but I've had other that would fight for the title. Lets look at the looser pets I have encountered in my 40 plus years.

1. Green anole. First off, it's a small lizard, so I'm always worried he will get out and crawl into something that we can't find him in, and then die and put out way more smell than the size of his body would suggest. He eats crickets, live crickets, which you have to keep in a cage, also inside your house. The possibility of the crickets getting out is a scary prospect as well, they might breed and then we have an infestation. Probably the worst thing about the anole is, they don't like to be handled. That means, he stays in the cage like a fish. The only time we actually touched him, was when we cleaned his cage, and he would flip out, and change color to try and hide. He appeared to be breathing so hard that his little lungs would explode. The only good thing was when we would feed him, if we could stand perfectly still for about 10 minutes, he would then eat the cricket, which was fun to watch. Basically a boring pet.

2. Fish. Do we really have to discuss this? I mean, the tank looks good and some of the fish look cool, but it is a pain in the ass to clean, keep the chemicals right and try to keep the fish from eating each other. I had a piranha that I thought would be soooo cool. I was wrong. He wouldn't eat if I was within a 5 mile radius. I tried everything, but no go. With the crickets and the piranha, I think I have a Mutual of Omaha thing going on.

3. Hermit crab. OK, they do no tricks and they bite. They don't eat live things and when they come out of their shell, they are hideous. You can't really hold them, but if you do, they go into their shell and you never see them.

4. Hamsters. These, on the surface, seem to be good pets. I mean, they are furry, they can do things that are semi interesting to watch, you can hold them, they stuff huge amounts of food in their cheeks and sometimes they do flips on their little running wheel. If you total all that up, seems like you have a winner, but lets look at the other side. The worst thing is, they bite. In fact, they make the hermit crab seem like a slug in comparison. I had tons of hamsters, mainly because they have the life span of a week and a half, and since you have $2000 invested in a habitrail that covers your entire room, just giving up on the species as a pet is out of the question. So you buy animal after animal after animal and before you know it, your backyard in a pet cemetery that would give Arlington National Cemetery a run for its money on the number of tombstones. The scariest thing is, they are like little prisoners and they are constantly trying to escape. They gnaw holes in the end of the dead end tubes and escape. I spent everyday after school inspecting all of the tubes and houses, looking for the hidden escape hatch that was in progress. I'm just glad they didn't have the ability to make shanks or I may never have been able to write this blog. They would have snuffed me out in my sleep on one of their jail breaks. I woke up one night and one of the escapees was crawling on my chest. Looking back, I know how close I was to death, gives me the shivers.

The boys have all ready asked for a new pet, but dad is putting on the breaks. I need to get over this loss before I try to move on. You just can't replace a beloved pet, by just bringing in someone new. So if we just went out and picked up, say, a dog, would that make the pain go away? I guess it would.

Kiss the frog!

If you know me, you know I'm not a political person. Don't get me wrong, I vote and I pay attention to who is running, but not usually until the media and the people have beaten a few down and they have dropped out of the race. Living in Iowa, we get a crap load of people who are running that most of the country doesn't get beaten over the head with. By the time your state has their primary or caucus, the back of the pack have fallen off to the wolves. Your welcome. This means, we get political adds for people you didn't even know were running. We get visits from EVERY candidate. Even John Huntsman might show his mug around, but my guess the other 49 states in the country will barely get a glimpse. I happen to know who John Huntsman is, because his family made their money in petroleum products, like plastic, and my company use to sell Huntsman Plastic. Every year we got a Christmas card with a picture of the whole Huntsman clan, and there are a shit load of them. Anyway, back to not being political. Since my interest in politics is only ankle deep, I don't go out of my way to meet candidates, senators or councilman/women. I don't have anything against them, just get a bile taste in my mouth when I see them, going around pressing flesh for your vote. I guess I would put them in the category of a salesman or a lawyer, not bad people, but their occupation has a slimy feel in my mind. During this time of year, the candidates are all over Iowa, showing up in the least likely of places to meet the people. Having a family, and little money, we are rarely in the places they are working the crowd, so the number of politicians I have met is a big zero, but the ones I have been around increased by one last night. I have no opinion of Michele Bachman, politically, and can't tell you what she stands for, believes in or her voting record. I don't know if she beat puppies when she was little or even if the story she told last night is true, but I'm leaning towards the story, not the puppy beating. She seemed like a nice person, believes in God and I felt like she genuinely wants to help us in the US get back on our feet. Can she do it? No idea. Will I look into her more? I'll see if the people and media spit her out the back of the caucus circus before I even start to ask, who do I want to vote for. Regardless of all of that, last night at Spirit Midwest music festival, she showed up to give her "testimony" during one of the band switches on the outdoor main stage. We didn't know she was going to be there, and because it was pouring rain on us when we got there, the crowd was small. Here is a shot from just before she got there.

As you can see, not exactly a sell out. I guess, since it was free, not a bad turnout in the monsoon. In this picture, the rain had stopped, but just 15 minutes earlier, we were in the rain forest. The rain was warn, really warm, like someone was peeing on you. Not that I would know, just saying, it was warm. There was no lightning, so I was fine standing in it. Since we haven't had any measurable rain in Des Moines since 2003, it felt great. I wish it could have waited a few days so the festival could have been more successful, but mother nature and I aren't on speaking terms, so I was without influence. So as we are listening to Tim Cooper and friends on the stage, standing in a warm piss bath and totally enjoying myself, being outside, I see a huge crowd. Ok, maybe is was 15 to 20 people, but look at the picture above. This is a crowd about to double the population of our area. I figured the band at the other stage just got done and the people were heading over to watch the Sidewalk Prophets play, which was who I was waiting for. Then I saw a guy I recognized from TV and I knew he was a campaign manager for a political candidate, I just couldn't remember who. I figured it out fast. Michele was signing autographs and when the crowd parted, I saw her coming right towards us. Do I get star struck? A little. When my brother Brian and I went to watch our favorite football team, the Washington Redskins, play the Chicago Bears a few years back, we stayed in the team hotel. When their bus pulled up, we both were like little school girls and chased the guys, some that were younger than me, around the hotel lobby. I got a whole book of autographs, but at the total expense of my dignity. I might have been blushing when I chased Clinton Portis to the elevator and blocked the door, just so I could get him to sign my book. Now he and his friends could have shoved me out of the elevator and left, and had every right too, but he signed it. So when Michele came across the field, I had a bit of a desire to run up and have my picture taken with her, mainly so I could post it on this blog, but I was more concerned that her security people would see my bald head approaching and assume I meant harm, and the picture on the front page of the Des Moines Register would be of some thug in a I love Jesus shirt, bending my arm behind my back while I cried like a baby. My decision? Hang back and see if she comes to me. Not so much. She scooted to my west and headed for the stage. If you have ever seen a candidate work the crowd, you know she isn't going right to the stage. Plenty of time for photos, autographs and talking to people who want to say they SPOKE to a presidential candidate. The other half of this long as story, is my boys are frog/bug freaks. They would spend 98% of their time catching frogs and bugs if we would let them. The other 2% would be beating the crap out of each other, but that percentage is negotiable. While I was listening to the music, my boys had located the creek, I think they have a part of their brain that just makes the ability to stay out of a creek, impossible. While they were in the creek, they located a small frog. They caught said frog and proceeded to run all the way across the festival grounds to show me, since I haven't ever seen one, today. Once they arrived, about the same time Michele arrived, Marcy decided that Max should show Mrs. Bachman the frog, since these things are only native to Christian music festivals in the greater Des Moines area, she might leave our state without seeing one. Max isn't shy. If you have ever met him, you are his best buddy and he will share everything. An example of this, Marcy was at our local grocery store one day when a lady she didn't know said, "Hi Max, how is your summer going?" Max shared his summer up until that point and moved on. Marcy stood their a bit dumbfounded, but asked the lady if she was one of Max's teachers, which she all ready knew she wasn't, but seemed like a good ice breaker. The lady said, "No, I teach 5th grade math." Well Max is my kid, so advanced math is not in his future for my soon to be 1st grader. So Marcy asks, "How do you know Max." Her response, "Everyone knows Max." Future politician? I hope not, I have skeletons in my closet. So Max heads over to meet Mrs. Bachman and show her his frog. (That sounds horrible) She, of course, is very sweet to him, looks at his frog and talks him up a bit. She could have freaked out and shoved the frog out of her face, but that looks bad on the Internet the next day. Here are the shots we took.


What we don't have, is a picture of the frog that Max and Makiah went back to the creek after their photo shoot and found, a much larger one. Max brought it over to us and Mom encouraged Max to take it over to show Michele, again. He did. This time, he held the frog up and the cameras went off. Look for that shot on the Internet, it just may show up. That was the end of The presidential candidate and the frog, but I will now make jokes about another incident that occurred.

As Marcy was leaving the area, a lady stopped her. I assumed she was getting Max's name so they could caption the picture, we have had this happen before with a photo of Makiah that was published from a local Des Moines Menace soccer game. When Marcy came back, she showed me the sheet the lady had given her to fill out, in support of Michele Bachman and to participate in the Iowa Straw poll coming up. We can put that away, Marcy is even less political than me, but I found the pen the lady gave her interesting. I assumed it would be a "Michele Bachman for President" official campaign pen, but no. It appears that they either purchased pens from Courtyard by Marriott, or they stole them. Now I don't want to get a big Watergate thing going here, but that seemed odd to me. I'm sure it was probably this ladies personal pen, which WE stole, but it seems like a candidate pen, might be an inexpensive idea. Even if you don't fill out the sheet, you might pass that pen to someone when they need to write down your favorite recipe for grandma's chicken noodle soup and they say, "OH, you support Michele Bachman for president?" Why no, we stole that. Just saying.

With the evening political visit over, we settled back into our night of music, and the band I came to see, Sidewalk Prophets. I had been looking forward to this since I heard they were going to be there. I'm a huge Christian music fan, and these festivals get you up close and personal to these inspirational bands. The lyrics in Christian music are safe for kids, so I don't have to worry about what my kids hear. Now we still listen to other stuff, my kids love Boom-Boom-Pow by the Black Eyed Peas, and there are words in there that I don't want my kids singing, but lets be honest, their mom says that shit all the time. See, she has me saying it. Anyway, I had never seen SP before, so I was excited. Our friends Michelle (not Bachman, we are just frog buddies) and Andy showed up to listen with us. After a half hour sound check, they started up. They were worth the wait. I loved their music and their raw approach to the set. They looked almost uncomfortable with the attention, but not in a bad way, in an unworthy way. They won the Dove award for Best New Artist back in 2010, and they deserve it. The first song you heard, if you haven't got fed up with my music and turned it off, is by the SP. I hope you enjoy it. Marcy and the kids missed SP because they were in the car. It seems my love of music festivals is not shared by my offspring, once the sun goes down and they can no longer play in the creek. Oh well, I don't mind going back to the "kids go to sitters while mom and I rock it out in the rain" format that we have followed for the past several years. Some day, I hope to hit the mosh pit with my boys, but I'm guessing the Red Hot Chili Peppers will be long retired before that happens. And my walker will get in the way.

"Better get a bucket....

I'm gonna throw up." That is a line from a Monty Python movie from when I was a kid. I can't remember which movie it was, but that line always comes to mind when I am making any kind of throw up joke/statement. You might think that I would rarely use that line, since vomit doesn't normally come up in everyday conversation, but I'm not your average fella. What brings it to mind in this particular post, is our recent trip to our local amusement park, Adventureland. I've decided that I will no longer attempt to be 14 years old. When I was a kid, I could ride the spinning rides all day long, no problem. Now, not so much. During last years trip to Adventureland, we were a good half day into the fun, riding all kinds of rides, when I realized that I suddenly had a bit of uneasy, rumbling around in my stomach. Now, I wasn't really close to spewing, but I was a lot closer than when I got on that damn ride. It was spinning around, and all I could do was pray I didn't become every ones going home story. You know, your in the car, all laughing and talking about their day, and telling the story of the guy who hurled all over the Lady Luck. Just because I can no longer go round and round, doesn't mean we don't go to the park at all. No, the kids love it there, so we go and I sit on a bench outside the ride and wait for the kids to come running off. Yesterday, my company had a family event at Adventureland, where they paid our way in, fed us lunch and even gave us $25 spending money. I sent a thank you email to the president of my company today, thanking him for not only SAYING they are family oriented, but backing it up. They have more than proved it to me over the past 2 years of my family issues. I always remember when I was interviewing for another job, several years ago, and the people I spoke to assured me they were a family company. When the offer came in, I started my negotiations by asking for more than the one week of vacation they offered. I was told they didn't give a second week. I turned the job down, thankfully. I told the guys I interviewed with, that when they say they are "family," then they should give you more time with your family. I realized that "family" to them, was your work family, not blood. Off subject by a few hundred miles, lets go back. So the kids are riding all of the spinning rides and Marcy and I are watching, and sweating, since the heat index was over 100, again. Luckily, there is a lot of shade, so we didn't bake completely. The day was going along just fine, until Makiah and Max decided to ride the Lighthouse. This thing spins around, and then makes this God awful noise that sounds like it is going to launch the cars into space, then it attempts to do that. Thankfully, the arms are attached to the base, so you don't go to high, but the thing spins faster, perhaps to lessen the disappointment that you didn't wing off into the log ride. The ride finally stopped and both boys ran over to my shaded bench. Makiah appeared to need a bucket and Max was crying, begging for a bucket. They never chucked, but I thought this would tell them that lunch, then round and round, don't go together. They decided to give it a rest. That lasted 2 minutes, and they were back on the spin rides.

Another option to this park, other than the vomit rides, is its water park. There are a bunch of slides, the now obligatory Lazy River and a big climbing, sliding water spraying thing. It's pretty fun, but on a 100 degree day, pretty crowded. We knew this would be the issue, so we decided to get there when the park opened, 10:00am, and do our swimming before we met my company for lunch at 12:00pm. We got there and walked into the main chair area and set out to find a few chairs. Now there are 5 of us, but I knew we would be in the water most of the time, so we decided to just score 2 lounge chairs to hold our stuff and for us to sit on, during any breaks. We find 2 chairs together, drop our stuff, slather in sunscreen and get ready to hit the Lazy River. Just before we left, I pulled our 5 towels out and tossed them on our chairs, so people would know these particular chairs were taken. My "assumption" was, that people would realize this and that any chair with out a pile of towels and shirts, was open. So we headed out, swam for awhile, then decided to hit the chairs while the boys played on the big climbing, sliding water spraying thing. When we get to our chairs, we see that someone has taken one of our towels and put it on a third, previously unoccupied, chair. Someone had grab a towel from our pile and placed it on a chair. I thought that weird, but had several possible justifications in my head. None of which I really believed, but I couldn't figure out why someone would move our towel to give us another chair. Today, someone suggested that, since all of our towels matched, that maybe someone thought they were water park towels. Could be, but it was on my stuff, so keep your hands off. I felt so violated. Marcy and I shrugged it off, left the towel and went back to swim. I came back a while later and now there was a shirt and a pair of shoes, on top of the towel. OK, now this is bull shit. First, not your towel. Second, who puts their dirty shoes on top of the towel on the chair? Why wouldn't you put your shoes under the chair like, oh, I don't know, like EVERYONE AT THE POOL? I think we are dealing with a pysco or at the very least, a severely stupid person. I grabbed my towel and momentarily thought about tossing the shoes into the Lazy River, but decided that if this person is choice one from above, there is no way I'm giving him a reason to follow me home. I never did see who did it, they never came back, but I was almost tempted to stay there all day, just to get a peek. My stomach over ruled my curiosity, and we went to lunch. I guess my life philosophy is, don't touch other peoples stuff. I'm thinking about having t-shirts printed up.