Don't shoot!

I'm not the type of person to tell someone they are a bad parent, I don't know what in the hell I'm doing, how could I tell someone else THEY are doing it wrong. That being said, let me throw something out to you and see what you think. A little background about the Des Moines area right now. Over the last 3 or 4 months, there have been 6 or 7 attempted abductions of children in and around Des Moines. Rumor has it that some of the cases may be related in a group effort. The police did locate one individual in a town outside of DM and he was arrested, so hopefully that community will be a little safer. Then, Sunday afternoon, I was driving to the grocery store, when I saw 3 kids standing on the side of the road with a lemonade stand. Not a big deal, but a little setup on the area. The road I was on doesn't actually have houses on it, they are on side streets off the main road, so these kids weren't in "front" of their house. Again, three of them, not a big deal. On the way home, I passed the area again, this time, one small boy, by himself, attempting to get strange cars to pull close to him so he can reach his hand close to theirs to hand them a cup, probably in the window of the car. I know a lemonade stand is a right of passage for kids, my kids have had one and have wanted to have more. I know they can learn a few business principals in this basic of businesses. Here's the thing, there are too many crazy psychos out there and I'm just not going to let my kids stand on the curb and invite strangers to get closer to them. It's hard being a parent, trying to decided when and where you can cut the kids some rope, let them wander away from the safety of mom and dad and not be a worry wart. My kids aren't old enough for me to do that, at least not in my eyes. If you are from the Des Moines area, for any length of time, you know the story of Johnny Gosch and Eugene Martin, two paperboys that were kidnapped years ago, while doing their routes. This happens everywhere, even safe DM Iowa. I just don't want to look back and say, "I shouldn't have let them do that." I'm going to do that enough, but hopefully they will still be alive and I can tell them I'm sorry.

This weekend, I took the boys into the back yard with my old Red Ryder BB gun and showed them how to shoot. We are still working on the safety thing, boys seem to think pointing a gun at your brother is pretty funny. They can't even cock the single pump gun, so I have to do it for them, so I'm right on them so they don't shoot something they aren't supposed to. I set up 4 pop cans at a distance of about 25 feet. I taught them how to use the site and gave Makiah a few shots to try and hit something, no good. I turned the gun over to Mason and showed him how to use the site and he proceeded to hit a can on 3 of his first 4 shots, not bad. I went back to Makiah and after a few more explanations, he was hitting cans on almost every shot. I only had a few BB's, since they were still in the gun from the last time I shot it 15 years ago and I have since lost any packages of BB's, so the shooting just lasted a bit until we were out. I was amazed at how well they did for having never shot a gun and they don't play any gun video games, moms orders. I don't think Marcy was very happy with the whole gun thing, but this is what boys do, including Mason and Makiah(that was a reference to me, since Marcy says she has 4 boys). I also have a BB pistol, so I broke that out so they could shoot it, without BB's since I'm out, and they liked that to. Mom REALLY isn't happy about the pistol, but boys love them. I'm being sure to teach them safety, and as long as they don't shoot each other, themselves or any of the neighborhood animals, I think we will be OK. I do have a sandbox shitting cat that I MIGHT let them take a few shots at.

The Cheese

All of the birthdays in the house are done for the year, except for mine. It's hard to believe that the kids are getting so big. Mason turned nine the other day, so we had a evening out to celebrate. We had dinner at the families favorite restaurant, McDonalds. Just kidding, it was Carlos O'Kellys, which sounds like a Irish/Mexican restaurant, but turns out, just Mexican. Mason always eats well there, but the other two just want chips and salsa, cheap dates. We try to get them to eat something else, every time we go, but we usually just end up taking it home, to throw it away later. I'd say 90% of the time we take anything home from a restaurant, we throw it away because nobody will eat it. The evening was topped off with a trip to Chucky Cheese. I'm not a big fan of The Cheese, but the kids love it, and as a parent, you do tons of stuff you have zero interest in. They do have skeeball, which I like, but everything else is either so easy its boring, or just not my kind of fun. Makiah got in this 4-wheel drive truck that started rumbling and lifting. He asked me to get in, but there wasn't a chance in hell I could squeeze my legs into that thing. It didn't move a whole lot, but I found a lever that when pushed, made this thing do a wheelie, which scared the hell out of Makiah. That was fun. Makiah also decided that he wanted to play this semi truck driving simulator. Lets just say he is know where near being able to drive a real car. He wasn't talking on the phone or anything and he still spent 80% of his time, not only out of his lane, but off of the road. I fear for the people of WDM if he doesn't improve in the next 7 years. The whole time he was driving he had a scary laugh, he was really enjoying driving through the mall. We use to have one kid get sick every time we went, mainly because they crawled through the hamster habitrail thing, which every kid in a 50 mile radius had coughed and sneezed in. Now that they don't really get in that any more, we have been germ free. I also learned that 7pm on a wed. night is a pretty good time to go, the crowd was thin. I did see several adults getting angry at the amount of tickets they were winning at the games that are designed to just give tickets. If you've been, you know what I mean. If you have never had the privilege of running around, dodging kids and phlegm, at a Chucky Cheese, there are certain games that are for ticket whores. You flip a coin in a basket and it gives you a ticket. If you happen to get it in the thimble, it gives you 100 tickets. Kids can walk up, flip the lever and the ticket machine will spew tickets for an hour. I go up and try this and I spend $20 to get 20 tickets that buys a small sucker, hardly a fair exchange. Some of the kids walk around with hundreds of ticket, I have 7 in my pocket and I'm out of cash. You can't buy anything with 7 tickets, especially not a smile from the girl behind the counter when you try to trade your 7 for one of those 20 ticket suckers, not going to happen. Everyone tells me that I will miss these times when the kids get older and don't want to have anything to do with their old dad, but I'm guessing the Cheese won't be the thing I miss.

Hopefully funny

I was reading an article on the Des Moines Registers website, when a link to mug shots peaked my interest at the bottom of the page. I clicked on it and was entertained for a whole lunch hour. Below are some of my favorites, and what came to mind when I saw them. These are all people arrested in the DM area. By no means am I making fun of their crimes, situations or person, only the photos. Now with that disclaimer, I hope you enjoy, especially those of you who need a laugh.

This guy appears to have a tiny head in this picture.


Here is his big brother who fills the whole frame.


I see hard times have come to Mr. Kenny Rogers.



I think they made this guy suck a lemon before this shot.


OH GOD!!!!!! Not sure what she was areested for, but I'm guessing it wasn't prostitution.


I bet you can't guess what this guy was busted for. What, smoking pot, good guess.


I think this guy got run over before this shot.


This guy must have been busted for stealing a donut truck.


Were they asking him to read something without his glasses?


Santa or dude from the Oakridge Boys?


WOW! Very happy about being arrested.


"Move a little to your right. A little more, little more."


"Did you say smile or show you all of my teeth?"


Nice fro dude! I hope you weren't trying to hide behind a bush with that thing.


I think this guy is an alien, I'm pretty sure I saw him in the movie Men in Black.


I smell a lawsuit.


Was this guy electrocuted?


I looked up serial killer in the dictionary, same picture.


And finally, Doogie Howser, MD.

Why?

So I saw this a few weeks back, but didn't have photo evidence, so I passed on writing about it. Last night, I wasn't driving, so I was able to snap a picture of the situation in question.
Why would you put the crapper in the middle of the road? I know, by law, that they have to have a porta potty on the job site, but can't they put it on the side of the road, or around the corner? This is a street full of businesses, you can't stick it in the far corner of the parking lot? How comfortable would you be taking care of business as cars whizzed by right outside your thin plastic wall? I see stories all the time about people who are either texting, talking on the phone or just plain not paying attention, so they run off the road or whip across several lanes of traffic. now imagine you are in this crapper with your pants down when Johnny Distracted decides he needs to text his buddy about his plans for the evening, and WHAM!, you and your bare ass go flying across the intersection for all to see. Just put the damn thing in a less public spot, that's all I'm saying.

Drink up, it makes me laugh.

You may have seen this before, I hadn't, but it made me laugh. There appears to be one too many positions listed, but that is how I got it and I have no idea which position goes with which photo, so I can't fix it. Plus, it doesn't make it any less funny. I'm not promoting drinking, just laughing.

Savasana
Position of total relaxation.


Balasana
Position that brings the sensation of peace and calm.


Setu Bandha Sarvangasana
This position calms the brain and heals tired legs.


Marjayasana
Position stimulates the midirift area and the spinal comumn.


Halasana
Excelent for back pain and imsomnia.


Dolphin
Excelent for the shoulder area, thorax, legs, and arms.


Salambhasana
Great excersice to stimulate the lumbar area, legs, and arms.


Ananda Balasana
This position is great for masaging the hip area.


Malasana
This position, for ankles and back muscles.


Pigeon
Tones the body, and builds flexibility and helps get rid of 'stress'.


So, lets start drinking ..............

Meals update

For those of you not in the Des Moines area, the Meals From the Heartland weekend extravaganza was last weekend, and I happy to say that over 4 million meals were prepared to ship within the US and all around the world. I'm glad to know that some of the meals will go to the area I was in in South Africa, some will go to Frankie in Mexico, whose mission I have worked at and written about many times, and some are going to New Mexico, which I can only guess is the Navajo reservation that I visited a year or so ago. I've seen the kids that will receive these meals, which makes it that much more powerful an experience. Here I am with my Mission Juarez/El Paso, now Mission Rio Grande, group.


We had a lot of fun doing it. Mason and Makiah got to go with their school to assemble meals and they both loved it, especially Makiah. He is going to be the next missionary in our house. He always wants to go with me and I can't wait until he is old enough to go on his first trip. I'm all ready getting excited to go to El Paso again, even though it is a long ways away. Next year, we are going down as a family to work, that should be a lot of fun. I wish we could blow the doors off 4 million, even though that is a huge number. The need is so great, but the money has to be there. They said a meal costs $.25, so that is really cheap. Our group assembled 15 boxes, each contained 36 packets, which in turn feeds 6 people, one meal. That comes out to 3240 meals we prepared in and hour and a half, amazing. The one bad thing about doing stuff like this, is I never feel I did enough. I wanted to build more, our whole team did. Maybe next year we can build 5 million meals:)

Wanna go?

As I write this, I'm sad to say that a return trip to Africa doesn't appear to be in the cards for 2010. I guess I won't rule it out, but chances appear to be slim. So what does that mean for missions trips in 2010? I'm glad you asked. My yearly trip to El Paso/Juarez is a go. There is also a possibility for a return trip to Jamaica, this time for a little community service instead of a vacation. Did you notice the title of this post? Would you like to go? The trip planning is in the early stages, but if all goes well, I'll be spending some time in the sun next year. The area I stayed in last time has a community center that needs finishing and hopefully, I'll be working on that, but I'll need help. This trip won't be through my church, this is being organized by my friend Michelle and her friend Brooke, who is still serving there. I won't give the whole story of what they were doing there, I think I've covered that 1000 times, but if you are new to my blog, here is a link to Brooke's site which should give you the story, plus a few shots of the community center I will be working on. I'm not even sure if the trip will happen, but if God is telling you to get up and do something, serve your brothers and sisters, keep this in mind. You can read about my last trip to Jamaica my selecting the Jamaica category on the right. Hope you can go with me.

Out of the mouths of babes

Two things heard from my kids tonight:

Max had just gotten out of the bath and told me he washed his body, including his "peanuts." Penis, peanuts, it's all the same.

Mason was waiting his turn in the bathroom and somehow received a shock from a fuzzy sock, to which he exclaimed, "That shocked the hell out of me."

Where do they get that shit?