Technicolored yawn

Yesterday was spent at home, with a sick kid. Makiah woke up and said he didn't feel well, so Marcy took his temp. 101.6. We'll that's not good, so we checked it again later to see if it went down, and it had, 101.3. Still not good. Marcy was heading up to MN, so Dad is staying home. First, we had to get the rest of our stuff that we were selling in a garage sale, down to a friends house for the big weekend. I loved having my truck so I could haul all the big plastic toys, houses and picnic tables from the back yard. Our kids have out grown all of that stuff and it was nice to get it off my grass. I think my friends are going to be pretty upset to find, that if that stuff doesn't sell, they now have become my donation site. That crap was delivered on a one way ticket, so enjoy. We aren't even that concerned with what money we make, but every little bit helps. Marcy went through tubs of baby clothes, some that had gone through all three boys. I'm not sure why we get attached to some of them, but I guess we have memories of them in a certain shirt or sleeper, and just can't let it go. We have several outfits that we just couldn't part with, but I don't know what we will do with them. My choice? A sleeper with Snoopy as the Red Baron on it. I can see all three boys in it in my mind and I always loved it. I've heard of people making blankets with scraps of cloth from old clothes, maybe we can find someone. I wish my grandmother was still alive, I'd have a blanket in a heart beat and I'd never sleep without it. It's funny that we call them garage sales in Iowa, but a lot of places call them yard sales, mainly because they don't have a garage. Most of the stuff you are selling in a garage sale is in the driveway, so maybe we should start a driveway sale sign business. After dropping off the stuff, I made it back in time for the end of the first puke show. So glad I hurried back. There were several encores, so I got my fill. His temp yo-yo'd throughout they day, but the curtain had dropped on the show by lunch. I gave him a big pepperoni sandwich and a beer to sooth his stomach.

There are advantages to being home on a week day. I have time to write on my blog, which I enjoy but sometimes can go weeks without having the time. All of the laundry gets caught up, though that isn't something I really enjoy. If it's a nice day, I can sit outside, read a book or just listen to the birds. I got to order a Vito from Jimmy Johns, one of my favorite sandwiches, and they deliver. Of course, there are some bad things. I've mopped the kitchen floor more than I would like too, due to the last minute sprint to the toilet that finished a bit early. I gave him a bowl, jeez. I'm bored out of my frigging mind, since I can't leave and it's too wet to work in the yard. I'll be behind when I get back to work and that is never fun. This isn't exactly quality time I'm spending with Makiah. I don't want to get to close and get what he has, or be in the splash zone.

Waaaaay off topic, but splash zone brought me back. I went to Seaworld in Orlando years ago with Marcy and Mason, he was a baby, and the in-laws and nieces and nephew. I didn't know they had rides there, but they do. On one particular ride, called Journey to Atlantis, you get in a boat and start tooling around the ride. You go up this little hill, about 5 feet tall. As we topped the hill, I thought, "Why in the hell did they put this hill here?" As we hit the bottom of the hill, the nose of the boat we were on, lets just call it the Titanic, went under the water like a freaking submarine and filled the boat with what must have been thousands of gallons of water. Now I'm in the front row, so I just took a bath sands the soap. I shit you not, water to my waist. My niece was sitting next to me and must have been 9 years old and I was concerned she was going to drown. Now I'm thinking, "Why in the hell did they put that hill there?" but with an angry tone. The rest of the ride was great, a regular water ride until you come out of the building and then it turns into a roller coaster. "A what?" you say. You heard me, turns into a roller coaster, only to crash back into the water and now a boat ride. Scared the crap out of me. Good ride though. Here is a picture, but it's hard to see anything.

You can't see my pants, but they are wet, trust me. Next, it was off to watch Shamoo and the Killer Whale show. That was cool, always wanted to see Shamoo. When you get to the arena, there is a section labeled "Splash Zone" and of course, that is where the kids wanted to sit. I wanted them to think I was a cool uncle, so I headed down to the Zone for a little splashing. Well Shamoo is a big son of a gun and when he/she lands in the water, he/she turns the Splash Zone into the Bath Zone. I wasn't that worried, since I had all ready taken one bath in Atlantis, but the Shamoo bath was a little different. First, it was salt water. Second, technically, it was concentrated whale piss. I mean, when you are in the ocean, you have billions of gallons of water to dilute the whale urine, but in this tank in Orlando, you got what, maybe 100 gallons? My math might be off, but you get the idea, high concentration of wee-wee. Now my chances of drying out before we head home hover around the 2% mark. I bought a new shirt to help speed up the warming process, but Seaworld doesn't sell underwear, or socks that fit a man. Baby socks yes, bigfoot socks, no. I had a great time on the trip and hope to take the kids there someday, but by the time I can afford it, I'm guessing they will want to bring their kids too.

DUDE! Stay on track. Jeeeeez!

I was watching the show "The Voice" the other night, and the music really got me thinking about my change in music habits and what songs or concerts that stand out to me.  The music you hear from this blog, if you haven't paused the player, is some of the music I like.  Of course, it's a small taste of what I like, but it's a glimpse into the changes I've gone through, if you would listen to all of them, which I don't suggest you do.  I was looking for new music to put on my player, actually I was looking for the Celo song Forget You, but couldn't find it, only the not made for radio version of the song, Fuck You.  I've mentioned before that I'm not offended by language, but it's hard to listen to that version all the way through.  As I tooled around looking at music and artists, I came across some oldies, at least for me.  Tears for Fears and "Don't You, Forget About Me" and I flashed back to Breakfast Club, one of my all time favorite movies.  I happened upon the Ani Defranco section.  If you haven't heard her, I'll say she is what you might think would be sung in a smokey bar in New York City.  Soulful, hip and fantastic.  That made me remember when I went to Ames to hear her sing.  I took my girlfriend at the time, who just happened to be a fan of Ani's, to what might have been described as the largest gathering of lesbians in the history of Iowa.  Ani is gay, but I'm not sure why that causes so many gay people go to see her.  Gay or not, she sings beautifully, but at her concert, I felt a bit out of place.  I loved the show, and thought it was funny that she asked the crowd to not clap to the beat, because it throws her off.  I had never heard anyone say that at a concert and I've never heard anyone else say it.  One of my favorite groups is Red Hot Chili Peppers and I've had the pleasure of seeing them in concert as well.  The sad thing is, the music isn't what I remember the most.  No, my most vivid memory is of the college students that sat in the row in front of us, showing up reeking of alcohol and then puking on the floor in front of them.  The worst part was, people walking down the isle to get out of the row, kept slipping in the vomit, several almost falling completely on the ground.  As if the the technicolored yawn (that is my favorite way to say barf) wasn't bad enough, one of the guys thought he lost his glasses in the dark auditorium and spent half the concert searching for them.  He later figured out that in his inebriated state, he had forgotten that he didn't even bring them.  He figured that out during the encore.  Of course now, most of my music is in the Christian category, and yes, it can rock as well.  I've been surprised over the years at just how hard the music can be.  You can hear some on my blog, that maybe you never thought could be Christian.  Some of it you may have heard on regular radio and never knew that the words were God or Biblically based.  Some songs aren't as clear cut, but the bands are.  I look forward to someday getting back to Sonshine Festival and seeing a lot of bands live in the three day event.  Next to my mission trips, it's the most relaxed I get all year, and re-charged.  Since I'm not currently attending a church, my batteries get a little low.  I hope my distaste for church buildings and the politics will subside, but just when I think it is getting better, I learn some thing new that makes me sick to my stomach.  That happened again this week, it just won't end.  Tangent.  I seem to get off track a lot, but I'm guessing you have picked up on that if you have read two or more of my posts.  I guess with all of this, I just realize that I reminisced a lot lately.  I hope that doesn't mean my end is near, I still have so much to see and do.  That reminds me that I want to start my own bucket list, I gotta get on that.  I've been dreaming about friends from long ago, day dreaming of trips past and hearing music that sends me into flashbacks.  It's all good, I've had a good life and know that I'm blessed, even when my heart and stomach have been handed to me on a platter.  Lets end this wild ride here, I don't think there is another direction I can take you today.   

A glimpse into my life.

This is brief, but you will see what I see on a daily basis.  This is a conversation with Mason a mere 10 minutes ago, so 7:15ish am.

 

Mason:  I need a cat prop for my play.

Me:  What's a cat prop?

Mason:  Either ears or a tail.

Me:  OK, when do you need it by?

Mason:  Tomorrow.

Me:  There isn't any school tomorrow.

Mason:  Oh, then I need it for today.

Me:  Mason, how am I going to come up with a cat prop in an hour.

Mason:  I don't know.

 

Thank you for sharing in my life today.

 

Just asking, part 2.

I wrote about atheists last week, but didn't realize that the billboard I saw was for an actual meeting here in Des Moines for a bunch of atheists. I read an article in the paper as to why they were meeting, which if you remember, puzzled me. As it turns out, according to this article, they want to organize so they can influence legislation that supports their beliefs. I guess I understand that, but here is a question that came up. On WHAT, do you base those beliefs on? Most documents that were written to found this country, are based on Biblical principles. Like it or not, God is mentioned in most. So my question is, do the atheists have something to base their beliefs on? Scientologists have the writings of L. Ron Hubbard. The Mormons have the Book of Mormon. Is there a book of atheism? Perhaps there is an "atheism for Dummies" I could take a look at. I'm not interested in converting, just interested on what makes you an atheist. Is it just a non-belief in God? No idea. There was another group that was included on the billboard, unless the name was just another name for atheists, and it was freethinkers. I'm not sure what that is, but it sounds good. Can you be a freethinker AND part of a group? If you are thinking free, I guess that doesn't mean you are alone, it's a hard title to decipher. I wonder if they have a book?

Getting old

I glanced at something today that said personal creations, but I saw personal cremations.  I thought that seemed a little weired when I read it.

And nobody died.

Our week without TV is now done. Yes, I know it wasn't a full week, I'm well aware there are 7 days in a week, not 5, but the challenge we were sent was technically only for 5 days. I was surprised at the lack of whining, complaining or begging that went on. I mean, I never did any of that and that surprised me. I figured I would sneak a peak on Wed., since my favorite show is Survivor and I rarely miss it, going all the way back to the first season. I even told Marcy when I proposed we do this, that I was sneaking down after the kids went to sleep on that night to watch it on the DVR, but the guilt was too much. Mason bet me that I would crack before him, and even though I'm not as competitive as I use to be, I wasn't loosing a bet over TV. Is it bad that I encouraged my kid to bet? I'm guessing he can tell his counselor at 1-800-BETS OFF when he gets older that his dad got him hooked on gambling. The weather was horrible, so a lot of the things we had planned went right in the crapper. We were going to go for a bike ride, lots of walks, plus anything else we could think of to do outside. It rained almost every day, and the day it didn't, we took a walk to a near bye park, Marcy and I were in our heavy coats. It was a bit of overkill, but since I have lost a total of 2 pounds lately, that layer of body fat on me is dangerously close to making me only slightly obese. I've cut my Coke consumption down to one or two a day and increased my water intake to a 50 gallon drum, or so it feels. The water bill at my office has got to have doubled over the past 2 weeks, I feel like I would get more done if we would just mount my laptop over the urinal. I'm told this side effect will subside as my body gets use to the intake, but I haven't seen that yet. Back on the TVless week,I'm proud of the kids for taking the challenge and getting through it. In my naive world, I thought they would realize how little they actually needed the box, and vow to turn it on much less, without Marcy and I telling them to turn it off. When I proclaimed this belief, I was quickly shot down and told it was the hardest thing they had ever done. I guess that is good on one hand, at least they haven't had to deal with anything tough so far in their lives.

Just asking

What's up with the atheists? I don't have a problem with them, or their beliefs. That I have a different opinion, is irrelevant. My issue is more with their methods lately, of recruiting new members, or non-members, I'm not sure how to classify. I would think that if you were an atheist, that would mean that you didn't have to get up early on Sundays, would always volunteer to work Christmas and wouldn't end up with 30 packages of peeps in April. I guess there is an actual organization, which strikes me as funny. You have group meetings, just to say you don't believe in God? Seems like a waste of time, whats the advantage? What do you gain by trying to convince someone that there is no God? Seems odd to me. There are billboards in the Des Moines area that say something to the effect,

Know there is no God? So do we.

OK, so now what? Why do you pool your money for that reason, to buy a billboard? Am I alone here? Again, I'm ok with them not believing, I've been there, before I started my own research, but I don't understand the recruitment. There seems to be so much more you could promote that you DO believe in. Why pay for a sign of your negativity? Sounds a bit insecure or unsure to me. I personally don't believe in UFO's, but I will promise you with 100% certainty, I will not spend one dime to promote that belief. You just heard my whole anti-UFO speal for free, exactly what it is worth.

Here is a question to ponder, something that I have discussed with "non-believers" as well. When you are involved in a serious moment, life or death, what is going through your mind? Lets say someone close to you was just in a serious, and I mean serious, accident. What is happening in your noggin? I can tell you what I'm doing, I'm praying. I'm praying to God to heal. I'm not saying it will happen, me and God aren't on a "I owe you one" basis, so His will be done. But that doesn't change what I'm thinking. I've asked my "non-believer" friends:

Me: What are you thinking in times of tragedy?
Them: I'm talking over my fears, concerns and wants. What I wish would happen.
Me: Yeah, it's called prayer you dip shit. OK then, who are you talking too, yourself?
Them: No, I believe in a higher power.
Me: Yep, me too, His name is God, what is your higher powers name?
Them: They don't have a name.
Me: Well call him God and get off your "I just want to be different" horse, it smells.

The second person I asked had a sad answer.

Me: What are you thinking in times of tragedy?
Them: Nothing.
Me: Nothing? Mind is blank?
Them: Yep.

That is sad, and a little scary to me. I don't want to be alone in my time of need, and with God, I never feel totally alone. To an atheist, this whole post is ridiculous and they think I'm nuts, but I'm fine with that. I wrote once that I heard Bill Maher make a comment on his show once that struck me as funny. He was talking to a Born Again, and he said to the guy, "What if your wrong?" The guy had the perfect response, "What if you are?" I guess if I'm going to be wrong, I'd rather be wrong living my life following the teachings of Jesus, than being wrong and living my life through the teachings of society. I've been in that school, it sucks and the graduation party is hell.

Are you stupid?

Let me start off by saying, I love my job. I love the company I work for and the people I work with. That being said, some of them do things that I either don't understand, or they are not thinking.

1. I get emails from lots of people who are pointing out a task that needs to be done. That is all fine and good, but occasionally I get the infamous "See below" direction. I have no problem reading the previous email, or even a couple, but I get a string of back and forth emails about a subject, that at times, can be several pages long. How am I supposed to decipher what of those emails, is what you are wanting me to "See?" I count myself as a pretty bright guy. I mean, I've never shot myself, or even seriously injured myself in several years, so I would think that I could figure out a small mystery buried in an email. But sometimes, there are several paths these emails take and I'm not sure which direction I need to go. I usually have to ask, "see what?" and look like a total ass, because I don't say, "Hey, shoot a brother a clue on what you are talking about." I want to say "Are you stupid? Do you see that you have been having a conversation with subject "B" for a month, never figured anything out, then toss it over to me to break "it" down." Sorry, no comprende.

2. My cube sits by a door that leads outside. In the spring, summer and fall, this is a great seat. We prop open the door, since none of our windows open, and let in some fresh air. It's like working in a Vegas hotel, none of the windows open and I'm guessing it was to avoid former employees from escaping, but I can't say for sure. The time that my particular seat sucks, is in the winter. Where do I live? Iowa. What happens in Iowa in the winter? It gets cold as ass. Now put me in dress pants and business casual shirt and what do you get? Pneumonia. This isn't the front door, but a side door that leads to our loading dock. So why does it get opened 100 times a day to freeze my giblits off? Couple of reasons. The first is that truckers can't seem to figure out the 5 signs posted on the door telling them that this particular door is not an entrance. It is locked, so you have to have a pass key to open it. That, however, doesn't stop a truck driver from pulling on it like it's some sort of bar game to test your pulling strength. I swear I think they are going to pull it off the hinges. They give it a tug, and the lock informs them that the signs weren't shitting them, it's NOT and entrance. For most people, that would be the clue to follow the sign that has arrows pointing to the right, to the actual door they need to use, but alas, it does not. They take the grip of the lock as a challenge and tug again, again, and again. Hello, dip stick, the door doesn't unlock if you jerk on it 5 times, it's frigging locked, period. They finally give the cupped hands to the glass to look in and try to get someone to open it. I have taken to ignoring them in hopes that they will look at the sign and follow the directions. Sometimes, this just doesn't happen, so I have to open the door, let in the cold, and tell them to go to the other door. Since most of these people don't speak English, I have to break out my sign language skills and make the "You are at the wrong door" hand and arm motions, trying to get them to go to the next door. Usually, I just give up and point them through the indoor path to the warehouse, which they always seem to understand. Go figure. The second reason this door is repeatedly opened, is our warehouse people think of it as their personal door, to open and close as much as they like throughout the day. They have jeans and sweatshirts on, so they aren't nearly as cold as I am. They use it to go to lunch, come back from lunch, and to just meander outside every 20 minutes. Not sure why they can't use their door, but hey, lets not be door snobs, lets use them all. I've spoken to the guy who is the biggest offender, but he seems to forget and continues his laps. He goes out my door, walks over to the warehouse door and back into the building, only to repeat the circle 10 or 20 times a day. This guy does the Indianapolis 500 everyday, as I sit in the pits, not happy. Third reason, smokers. Lets not get into a long post on how the smokers get away with hours of breaks a day, that I do not, since I gave up the habit so many years ago. The area outside my door has a little roof, so it is protected from the rain. Their normal smoking spot does not. Every time it rains or snows, the smokers decide that my door leading to the covered area is their new found paradise, so I get the arctic blast several more times. This time, the blast is now menthol, so I have that going for me. I guess I see their point. I mean for health reasons, you don't want your smokers standing in the rain. That might make them sick.

3. I deal with a lot of outside people. By that I mean, they work outside of my building. Most of them are in warehouses around the country. We don't own the warehouses, we just contract with them to provide services for us. Some of them are great. You ask a question, they send you an answer. You ask for a service, they give you said service. But then there are some that treat my emails as a disease that needs to be eliminated as soon as they receive it. No need in replying, this email must have been sent from the devil and it's best to just get rid of it before it infects our whole system, or makes us work. I have a couple of warehouses that ignore my first 2 emails completely, so I schedule out 3 emails, which is when I know they will respond. I've been asked, why don't you call them? Good question. The answer is, because they don't answer their phone. Or if they do, they have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about. The biggest problem is, they will deny they ever spoke to me, if it comes down to a he said, she said, situation. I want the email response for my records, so I plug on. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to try and do the best job you can, but the people you rely on for the information to do your job correctly, could give a rats ass whether you get the correct info, or any info, at all. Someone needs to invent an email attachment that when they open it, my hands spring from their screen and strangle them until they submit to my will. Or maybe I could just use their keyboard to get what I want. Yeah, maybe that would be better.

Why is it so quiet?

This week is National Turn off the TV Week, or at least that is what I have been told. Normally, I'm against giving things up or doing things because of the date, like for Lent or New Years resolutions. I don't think they work very well, or at least that is my experience. If it is something you want to do, or need to do, why wait for these dates, just do it. (Nike will now be asking me for royalties)I guess if you need the push, you have two times a year to do something, even if the whole Lent thing is really just for Lent. Anyhoo, back to National Turn off the TV Week. I mentioned to the boys that we were going to give this a try, and to say it didn't go over well would be an under statement. I will say that, even when the TV is on, it is usually just background noise and the kids aren't watching it, but tell that to three kids. Marcy and I know that we can't just say no TV, we have to have different activities to take the place, or give the illusion of replacing. We have some ideas, but weather will be the final judge on some of them. I'm really hoping that we can have reading night, where we all sit down and read books, silently, but I'm guessing I will be the only one that wants that. Wish us luck.

911, what's your emergency?

OK, so it isn't an emergency, so I called the regular Police phone number and was disappointed to learn that the "regular" line is either busy, or they put you on hold, for extended periods of time. Why was I calling? Well, we seemed to have a drunk driver that went down the major road two houses from ours, jumped the curb and hit a no parking sign.

It ripped a huge chunk of the fender off, which is now laying on the curb as well, along with a lot of plastic chrome and light lenses.


They hit it hard enough to snap the 4x4 post the sign was mounted to.

I have no idea if this was involved in the accident, but this was among the carnage.

Coincidence?

My biggest surprise is the difficulty I've had trying to call the police. I guess I assumed that if you called, you would get through and you could let them know. I know this isn't going to be high priority, but when my mailbox was hit, for the second time, they came out and filled out a report and followed up on a few leads, but never caught the person, which meant I was out the money to fix it, again. I figured that since this was city property, they might just call in all resources and the SWAT team. The scary thing is, this was close to my house. If it was a drunk driver, they could have hurt someone, since the sidewalk, you can see it on the right of the first picture, is used ALOT and at all hours of the day and night. It isn't unusual to see someone walking their dog at 12 or 1am, trust me I've seen it. This makes me think back to when our mailbox was hit, in broad daylight, where my kids and the neighbors kids play. That could have been a tragedy, luckily, it wasn't.

I've given up on trying to call the police. Maybe someone else called, who had nothing better to do than sit on hold for an hour. I have better things to do, like this blog. Wait, maybe I should try to call one more time.

Like I said, Ahhhhh, Spring.

What does spring mean in my house? It means 2 boys and one wife will be covered in mud for the next 3 to 4 months. I'm not married to your typical girl. Nope, she is more comfortable wading around in creeks and sloping around in the mud that she ever will be any where else. This morning we woke to temps in the 60's and the sun shinning. Now most families would see this as a time to sit on the deck and read the paper this early in the morn, but not my wife. Her thought is, lets see if we can get muddy enough to be unrecognizable. To be honest, the only one that got really muddy was her, but we had left the camera in a safe place several hundred yards back. I did alert the clan to a new place to explore, which we had never checked out before, and that is where Marcy stepped off a log and buried her foot up to her ankle in mud, that appeared to be like soup. No need walking around in it, so off to wade in the creek to wash it off. Here is a shot of the crew, minus Mason who stayed home and minus Marcy, who is taking the shot.

Man that's a big dumpy dude in the back. Like a Bigfoot, you never get a clear shot of his face, but perhaps that is best. So you might be able to see that little container that Makiah is holding. It contains this:

Yes, that is a very large bull frog that Marcy caught, and was very proud of. Like I said, not your typical girl. It's probably one of the things I love about her, and definitely one of the boys favorite qualities of mom. Dad gets bored after stomping in the creek and pond for a hour or two, Mom can go all day. If you hear the story of the capture of this frog from Marcy, please know that she is a HUGE liar. I am not afraid of frogs, however, ones that are large enough to make me their bitch, I prefer to stay clear of. As she brought this bad boy to shore, I was doing my best to get out of her way, which appeared to her that I was running away to keep my pretty little pigtails clear of Froggy. In fact, I was trying to keep Froggy's liquid that he was flipping everywhere out of my eyes, I've heard it's poison. There was no screaming or even a whimper, but had she gotten any closer I was 100% sure that she and that frog were going back into the pond, pronto. I can only be pushed so far, then I push back. We took Froggy and 6 or 7 of his little brothers and sisters, plus two embryos, home to show the other neighborhood kids, then Froggy was released and the other frog kids went with a friend to visit a school this week, before they are sent home. Makiah saw a snake, or at least he claims he did. The disturbing part of that is, he saw it on the trail I just went down, 3 feet ahead of him. There is a lot of grass and stuff, so it's possible. Had I seen that snake, two kids and a wife are on their own to fend off the snake and get their asses home, cause I'm gone. Would I feel bad after that type of move? Nope, when it comes to snakes, you are on your own and I've made that completely clear to all of my family. No exceptions.

Ahhhh, spring.

So Spring has sprung in Iowa, and it’s a great time of year. The trees are starting to bud, the flowers are starting to come up, and all of the kids are out playing every night after school. The bikes are up and down the street, the ramps are in place for the jumps and inevitable injuries, and the neighborhood kids are starting the soccer, baseball and football games. Max had me take off his training wheels and was cruising up and down the street like a pro. It’s the fastest I have ever seen a kid ride after taking off the extra wheels. He still drives like a drunk old woman with cataracts, but has had no major crashes yet and every time he falls, he laughs. That’s a good start.

The sport of choice in my house is soccer. Makiah and Max are both playing on teams, so we try to practice games in the back yard. Last night, we were in the midst of one of those games, when the neighbor kid wound up and kicked the ball at me. I’ll say that I was a bit shocked to receive such a kick, right in the twins. I yelped like a spanked puppy, and the knees buckled, but I kept on my feet, kept the ball out of the goal, and most importantly, kept the tears from flowing. Next, I had to pull out my Oscar winning performance so the kid didn’t think he got me. I tried my best to convince him that the shot had actually been taken in the gut, but he knew. Another kid would yell, every time someone other than me got the ball, “Kick it into his nuts.” Yeah, funny, sorry your parents have to have a size 11 1/2 shoe removed from your ass. That kid never making it into my yard again would be fine by me. Nothing pleases a kid more than knowing he has caused you damage, especially in that area. Hilarious.

I had one of those moments today, that kind of puts things in perspective. There was a story on the radio about an accident that occurred in Altoona, the town my brother lives in, and a person was killed. My first thought when I hear that town mentioned, is hoping my family is safe. Turns out, the person killed was a family member of a girl I work with. This guy was driving along, probably heading to work, when a selfish 19 year old kid, in a stolen car, t-boned the car caring my friends brother-in-law, killing him. The kid got out of his stolen car and ran into the neighborhood near bye, which is my brothers area, and tried to steal another car. Luckily, he was caught, but that won't bring back my friends family. I haven't heard all of the details, but will that help? Will that make me say, "Oh, that's why he did that, OK, we'll let it slide." Nope, pretty sure my opinion will stay the same or, my guess is, I'll feel more disgusted with the people who do this sort of thing. It wasn't that long ago when a kid from MN drove to a small town in northern Iowa, and held up a convenience store. After he was handed the money by the clerk, he proceeded to shoot her in the head. He then drove to another small town a few miles away, and did it again. He was finally caught, before he could kill someone else, but that was a sad few hours in Iowa's history, that stretched into months of grieving. Iowa is a pretty safe state, so maybe people who live in big cities are use to this sort of behaviour, but we Iowans aren't. This kid was taken to jail, and as the cameras focused in on him in his cuffs and shackles, he was smiling. Not a smile as a forced smile for the camera, but more of a devious smirk. The kind that when you see it, you know that person has no remorse for what he did. Not only sad, but really scary to know people like this exist. That people have no regard for someone elses life, is a sad state of the union. Both of these situations just prove the old saying, "you never know." You never know when your time on this earth is up. You may be in perfect health, then some dumbass kid runs a red light, and then you are gone. You never know when some vital part of your body, might just quit working. I've lost a lot of people in my life, but never to an accident like these. Is that harder or easier than watching the person you love die of a disease? Not sure you can have a winner in that contest, so lets call it a draw. What does that all mean to me? Hmmmm, thanks for asking. It means that you have to live each day like its your last. I know, corny, cliche and waaaaay over used. But does that make it less true? You have to plan for the future, but you have to live today.

Sorry.

This is a public apology to my mother. My mother passed away 13 years ago. I didn't have kids at that time, so I had no idea what she went through with my brothers and sisters. I know that I wasn't half as bad as them, but still. Here are the things I feel I MIGHT have caused my mother some stress.

I'm sorry about the bathroom. I'm sorry that I probably wasn't the best aim in the world, and wasn't the one who had to clean that bathroom. I have three boys, who I can only assume, pee with their eyes closed. I can't prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt, but I think, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, if you just see the bathroom, you will agree. They use 2 bathrooms, and both need to be sterilized regularly. I wish everything was tile and there was a drain in the floor. I would put on my hazmat suit and power wash that baby down.

I'm sorry that my brother and I use to argue. Constantly. I had no idea what that was probably doing to your mental stability, when you were yelling at us to get away from each other. If I remember correctly, you mentioned that we should get away from each other a couple of times, but we didn't listen. No, we continued to complain that the other one was bothering us. If I had hair, I would be pulling it out every time I try to reason with my kids, that it is so much easier to just walk away. That seems to fall on deaf ears, as it did oh so many years ago when you proclaimed the same thing.

I'm sorry that I did very dumb things, both to myself and to others. I'm sure you were up many a night, wondering if I had a brain in my head. I tried many things, that I thought I could do, only to be injured either physically or mentally. Yes, now I know that I can't fly with wings made of garbage bags. I know Evil Kenevil had a motor on his bike that he used to jump things. I now know that your chin, is NOT the human equivalent of an air bag. It took a long time to figure that one out. I see my boys are heading down the same road I was on, but maybe its a boy thing. Makiah cut his stomach a few weeks back when he tried to jump his bike over a ramp and onto another. He doesn't even know who Evil Kenevil is.

I apologize for all of the times I tried to get one past you. How I would fake sick so I didn't have to go to school. (shut up Lisa) I'm sorry I milked it when I was sick, to either get out of something, or to just plain be lazy. I could turn a hang nail into a month of "whoa is me." Sorry about "mis placing" several of my report cards, but really Fairfax county schools, you are going to send them home with the kids? Not a good plan.

I'm sure there is a lot more I need to come clean about, but these are the ones that I'm now dealing with, so I will just admit to these for now.