Sorry, it's just how my mind works.

I thought this was funny. I received an email from United Airlines to sign up for their new promotional, it has to do with the leg room in your seat. That is fine and dandy, but the title makes me giggle like a third grader, which doesn't surprise anyone who knows me. The promotion is called "The 5 inch Difference." (HeeHeeHee) I have a thousand comments on this, but I think you can see where I would go and there is no need in me writing it all out.

Soccer, sort of.

Makiah is on a soccer team, and it is the hardest thing for me to watch. I think I might prefer to watch back to back chick flicks over the painful display that is a U7 soccer game. I see them at practice, going where the coach says and doing what he asks. Then, I go to the games and it's like they just stepped on the field for the first time. The ball is always on the opposite side of the field as all of our players. Someone brought a dog tonight, I'm pretty sure they were from the opposing team (Coincidence? I think not). Makiah spent most of the 3rd quarter looking at the dog, oblivious to the ass kicking his team mates were taking, a mere 10 feet behind him. At this level, they don't keep score, and it's a good thing. I hear kids talk about scores of games, but usually everyone at our games gives up trying to keep track of the score, our side because it is depressing, their side because the first graders can't count that high. The main goal is for them to have fun and learn the game, but I'm not sure they are learning anything. It doesn't help that most of the practices have been rained out and several of the games as well, but still. Tonight it looked like all of the kids, except for a few, had molasses in their shoes, shorts and colon. I don't know that I have ever seen them so slow. I think for the next game, I'll bring a dog, but I'm bringing a Pit Bull. That ought to get them moving.

Artwork

If there is one thing that Mason is, it's creative. We encourage him to draw and write all of the time because his stories are so detailed and complex, we can't quite follow the speed in which he thinks. We just bought him a new bedroom set and what drew us to it, was the large desk he now has. Plenty of room for his work. Here is a picture of his robot head he made out of an empty waffle box, green duct tape, some pencils, an applesauce container and some pipe cleaners. You can't see all of the detail, but I thought it was pretty good for an 8 year old completely on his own. Trust me, dad couldn't make anything like this without it being covered in my own blood, sweat and tears. He wears this around the house, which is pretty funny.

37 days until Africa

So I have to admit, there was one thing that was really scaring me about my trip to Africa. It isn't the flight, although I'm not looking forward to it, I'm guessing it will give me lots of "Rants" on this blog. It isn't the food, since I have no idea what I will be eating. It isn't the lodging, since I only have a vague idea of where I am staying. It isn't the animals, no I'm not afraid that I will be eaten by a lion, again, its not that you need to be fast, just faster than 1 person and I'm not above tripping, pushing or flavoring my fellow missionaries. No, none of this scares me, ok, maybe the bugs since I found out there are scorpions, but no, still not it. I've worried about it since the day I decided to go, and now as the trip gets closer, it was all that was on my mind. It's an irrational fear, but aren't most fears? How do you put a fear out of your mind? I guess the only way to do it is to research your fear, educate yourself, and the fear will hopefully be proven wrong. I decided to do that, so I emailed my friend who is in Africa now, here is her response:

You will be working about 45 minutes or so from Shakwaru (the farm where you will stay). You drive through a regular little town with grocery stores and you will have all the access to Coke that you're addicted body will need! You'll just want to exchange some money at the airport so you have cash.

I can now sleep easy, all is right in the world!

Newsletter

My trip to Africa is quickly approaching, as I write this it's 38 days until I leave. I just received a newsletter from Blessman Ministries, which is the organization I will be working with, and here is a little blurb about my trip.


Abod: Answered Prayer

As you watch fireworks and celebrate the 4th of July, a team from Des Moines will be flying over the ocean on their way to build our first five Abod homes in South Africa. These homes will be built in a community about an hour and a half Northeast of Shikwaru. A church from that community is providing land for the homes to be built on, and also a caregiver who will live with and care for the orphaned children that are selected to live in the homes. This project is off the ground because we serve a big God who moves among us and answers our prayers.

We were ready to share the wonderful news about these homes in our last newsletter, however, just days before it went to the printer we learned that our manufacturer was unable to come through. It was too late to find a new manufacturer in the United States, since shipping can take up to three months. We made contact with a manufacturer in South Africa and prayerfully anticipated their proposal to build the homes for us. The Lord answered our prayers and the manufacturer came back with a wonderful proposal. As you read this, our Abods are being manufactured and are scheduled to be delivered July 1st to the building site. Thank you Lord!

Very exciting that it is so close. I'm extremly please that they were able to locate this new manufacturer and hopefully they are able to produce the houses for even less money, since they weren't being shipped all the way from the US.

More lessons learned

Yesterday was a long busy day, that I am paying for today. I'm resting in bed with a back ache like I've never had before. Perhaps my workload for Saturday was a bit ambitious. I did get most of the front yard done and most of the back. Today is garden day, but I'll get to that when I can stand up. I learned that if your neighbor is having a garage sale, and you have your garage door open, you are price tags away from having a garage sale yourself. Everybody slowed down and looked into my garage. I remember when my street had a street garage sale a few years back. Everyone that wanted too, could sell their stuff and we just had one add in the paper. That is all fine and dandy. We were selling our crap as well, so we got all set up the night before and just before the sale was to start, I was heading for the car to get as far away from the house as I could. As the garage door was opening, people were ducking under the partially open door to get in to look at my crap. That concerns me. What if I wasn't having a garage sale? The door isn't up yet, so they had to make the choice that they were coming in my garage as soon as it opened, no matter what. Lets just say I ran from there as fast as I could.
I learned that 2 bags of rock, as light as they may have seemed when you first picked them up, become very heavy while standing in line to pay. Especially if you are stuck behind a guy who wants to make his purchase as confusion as possible, asking Home Depot of they can please change their policy, just for him, just for today. Dude, buy your shit and move on, my miscalculation on my strength is now causing me pain, but I'm to proud to put these bags down on the ground, thus admitting defeat.
I must look like somebody that frequents Menards, because the lady keep talking to me like we were best buddies and saying things like, "You don't usually pay with a check." Well, no I don't, but there is no way you could possible remember that, considering I visit your store 2 or 3 times a year. Unless you are Rainman, definitely don't pay with checks. Pay with cash, definitely pay with cash, slow in the express lane, yea.
I found out that a quick stop at Homemakers furniture turns into a several hour tour as we run into people Marcy knows. This isn't unusual, she seems to know somebody, every where we go. The salesman we worked with is the dad of a friend of ours. He is new there, normally works real estate and you know how that is working for everyone. I was glad we were able to get him some commission. If you live in Des Moines and are looking to buy furniture, let me know and I'll toss you his name, he could use the help. Then on the way out of the store, we ran into a girl that Marcy went to school with, so they were able to catch up a little bit. I guess I did run into a guy I worked with a few years back, so maybe we are even.
I learned that Bed, Bath and Beyond has a bunch of shit you don't need, but REALLY want. There are so many "helpful" appliances that I would love to own. Oh to win the lottery.
Well I off to limp my old ass out to the yard and try to get some work done. I hope my next post isn't from the hospital. I do have my own parking place there now.

Don't sweat the small stuff.

Here is a picture I found funny. This guy was arrested for an outstanding warrant, and for stealing a case of beer. Doesn't seem to be to upset about the outcome of his day.

Need a truck?

We have a ditch in front of our building where I work. It's an interesting path to get to our parking lot as the entrance is way out of line from the actual parking lot, hard to explain. Anyway, we have had several people in the years I have been here, end up in that ditch with their vehicles. Most of the time, its in the winter when the snow has covered the actual way out, so people unfamiliar with our lot try to drive out where it would be logical for the road, but that wouldn't be fun now would it? Today, a guy somehow backed into the ditch and was completely wedged, so much so that his front tires were just barely making contact with the ground. A few of us guys went out to try and lift the back end of the car to see if the tires could catch and pull himself out. It almost worked, but he couldn't get enough of a grip to get out. Santa to the rescue. A guy pulls up that looks like a dirty Santa, unclean not perverted. He even had his summer red shorts on, I shit you not. Santa is driving what can loosely be called a truck. I'm guessing it was an old Datsun or Toyota, but its actual make is difficult to say. Santa offered a tow, for a mere $20 that the stuck gentleman agreed to. I stopped traffic on the road so Santa could line up his truck and hook up his chain to the car and what use to be the trucks bumper. As he was hooking it up, I took the time to peer into the cab of the truck and was surprised to see that times are tuff on the jolly guy. His seat has been replaced with the top half of a keg. I snapped a quick picture of the interior, hope you can see it, in all its glory.

Funny

A friend sent me some of those funny "Inspirational" posters you can buy. Here are a couple I really liked, the rest were inapproprieate, but really funny.

Oh how they have fallen.

The Iowa State Fair is quickly approaching, and the line-up for the stages is set. If you've never been to a state fair, the musical line-up usually involves a few big names, normally they are country singers, maybe a medium pop star, some old school rock bands and a few surprises. The last several years, the Iowa State Fair has brought in some very good Christian bands, this year being Steven Curtis Chapman and one of my favorites, Jeremy Camp. I had the pleasure to meet Mr. Camp several years ago, and though our meeting was brief, he seemed like a cool guy. He shares his story during concerts and his life has been hard, to say the least. He is young mind you, but has all ready lost a wife to cancer, I think. He has songs about her, which I have no idea how he can keep it together when he sings them. If you listen to the words, it's heart breaking. Anyway, this years line-up is no different with the likes of Brooks and Dunn, Big and Rich and Kelly Clarkson as the big names. The old school stuff is Peter Frampton, Journey and Bret Michaels (from Poison). Although I'd love to see Framton and maybe even Michaels, since I'm a Poison fan, the ticket costs prohibit me from going to all of them. Not only do you have to buy the concert tickets, but you have to buy a ticket to the fair, even though I won't be going around the fair. That would be my only complaint on the whole concert thing at the fair. At least after 5pm, you can get in cheaper, but still. This year, I saw what I consider the surprise, Coolio. Some of you might remember Gangsters Paradise, which was a really good song, but some of you may only remember Al Yankovics Amish Paradise, which was hilarious, and still more of you may think, "Who the hell is Coolio?" The sad part is, Coolio will be performing on a free stage, so the career must be winding down, because I can't believe it's ramping back up with a free appearance at the Iowa State Fair. It would be fun to see all of the gang banger wannabe's in the audience. Come on, this is Iowa, how badass can you be. I bet you'll see more underwear from bangers pants falling down than you would in a whole underwear department at Walmart. Maybe I'll stay away.

Get over it all ready!

Am I missing something? Do we not live in America, where you are allowed to have an opinion, and you can even express it? Even if your opinion isn't the "popular" belief? I think I've heard about enough of Miss California and how people are either pissed that she said what she said (her opinion/belief) or people or applauding her for the same. Is it really a big deal that this particular person thinks either way? Are our beauty pageant contestants now the deciding factor on a subject? Should we even have these pageants anymore, does anyone care? I remember watching them when I was a kid, and loving them, mainly because that was before I discovered Playboy and this was the most skin I could see that didn't involve a Sear's catalog, but I haven't seen one in years and have no desire (any of the above mentioned three). I applaud the woman for speaking her mind and not giving the answer she knew Perez Hilton wanted, but shouldn't it have been done at that point? If Perez wanted to vote for someone else, that's his choice, but is he sure the girl he voted for didn't feel the same way as Miss CA? He didn't ask all of the girls the same question, if the things I've read were correct. I saw Perez Hiltons foul mouthed tirade towards Miss California the next day and WOW, what an ass. I spoke about this in an earlier post, why would you think that yelling your opinion at someone will either get them to change theirs, or think any more of your opinion than when you weren't yelling it. I'm not against foul language, I think it can be a colorful addition to any conversation, but he was a bit over the top with the name calling, not really necessary considering her only fault, was not agreeing with him. To me, that's not a fault, it's a right. The parade got scarier when Donald "I'm not only the president of the hair club for men, I'm the experiment that went horrible wrong" Trump piped in with his support of Miss California, which is fine, but again, do we care? So he owns the pageant, good for him, but let it die along with that thing burrowed on your melon. His comments seemed creepy to me. He kept talking about how beautiful she is, which she is, but can we please get over this. Come up with an idea to feed millions of starving children and I want to hear from you. Look good in a swimsuit, please step to the back of the line, I've got better things to do. Is that my age speaking, because it sure isn't something I would have said 15 years ago.

It's a go!

I've heard from Michele in Africa and now from or missions people at Hope, the Abod homes are a go in South Africa. That is good news for the orphans of the area, there will be 5 new houses for some of them to live in, Praise God! Of course, this could all change or fall through, but for now, it looks good. I feel like we need to work as hard as we can and figure this Abod thing out so that they can continue the program. I know God will show us the way, if we listen to him, and hopefully someday, there will be hundreds, no thousands of these homes. Then I can look back and be thankful that I was apart of the start of a great mission. How excited are you Chad?

It's the little things.....

There are times in my life, when I reflect back and realize, it's the little things that we need to focus on. I know, you hear all of the time, don't sweat the small stuff, and that is true. I'm talking about the little things that make us happy. Here is a very short list of the things that have hit me just in the last few days.

When I'm trying to think of someone's name, whether its an actor or a friend from long ago, and I actually remember their name. Even better, if I remember the name of the person I was just talking to without having to sit there with a dumb look on my face trying to figure it out.

Having one of your kids say they love you, and they don't want anything.

Sitting on my deck on a beautiful spring evening, sipping on a Snapple peach tea, talking with friends.

Waking up in the morning, in my bed, not a fold out cot with a napkin for a mattress at the hospital.

Getting an invitation on Facebook from a relative you haven't spoken to for awhile, to be your friend.

Working on the World Bouncy Ball Federation, it will be the newest craze to sweep the nation, or at least a very small part of Iowa.

Playing catch with Makiah in the front yard.

Seeing Max on the big screen at church, talking about his mom.

Going to get my weekly Friday morning donut in the break room at work, and there is one chocolate covered one left.

Having Mason tell you that some monkeys "throw their poop," while you are eating dinner.

Running two chats, one with your brother and the other with his girlfriend, on line at the same time.

Having someone tell you that the drivel you wrote on your blog, actually made them laugh.

Having your wife home, and in less pain than she has been in for two months.

Keep in mind, none of these are a joke, these are things that actually made me happy. See, little things. May your day be filled with little things.

Is that factory installed?

Saw this at lunch today. Chad, if you had this, you could ride your motorcycle to El Paso next year AND haul stuff. It's win win.



Plus, is there a handicapped thingy hanging anywhere? Otherwise, they will have to tow that thing, but how?

Weekend stuff

Mason made a comment this past week, that was so Mason. He was asking me for something, that I had all ready told him no 100 times earlier, so I chose to ignore him on this request. When I said nothing, he said, "I will take your silence as a yes." After I quit laughing, I told him no for 101st time.

We went to church on Saturday night and the sermon was about mothers and mothers day. Our minister said that since they have a school, right in the church, that they would ask those kids about moms. Well Max goes to that school, so I waited to see if he was one they talked to, and sure enough, he popped up on the screen. They asked him, "What does your mom do for you?" Max said, "She takes me for walks and to see sharks." That is technically true, since we went to an aquarium this past summer and he got to see sharks and we even got to pet one, but it seemed to be an odd combo to share. The church laughed when he said it, I was so proud. He looked so cute up on the big screen bragging up his mom. I mean, as far as I know, the other kids moms don't even take them to see sharks. Weird.

We have fricking baby bunnies in our yard, for the 10th year in a row. The boys can't leave them alone, and I'm sure will give the poor little things heart attacks from being chased around and caught in little traps they made, that work. They have these bug cages and they put them near the bunnies then "guide" them into the traps with sticks or even leaves. I'm pretty sure this is illegal hunting, but not sure the DNR would bother to come by for such a violation of baby bunny hunting. They are the cutest little things, but damn, what am I running and damn bunny birthing unit? I'm pretty sure my neighbors yards are perfectly capable of holding bunny holes. I'm tired of finding these things while doing yard work. It's only a matter of time until I hit one with the mower or weed wacker and kids tend to look at you differently after they've watched you massacre a bunny family with a power tool. Don't say get a dog, like so many people have, because they did it when I had my German Sheppard, so that ain't a solution. Frigging rabbits.

Nice

This was sent to me, I liked it and thought I'd share.

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed.

As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation.

They talked about so many things and various subjects.

When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said:

'I don't believe that God exists.'

'Why do you say that?' asked the customer.

'Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things.'

The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument.

The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop. Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard.

He looked dirty and unkept. The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber:

'You know what? Barbers do not exist..'

'How can you say that?' asked the surprised barber.. 'I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!'

'No!' the customer exclaimed. 'Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside.'

'Ah, but barbers DO exist! That's what happens when people do not come to me.'

'Exactly!' affirmed the customer.
'That's the point! God, too, DOES exist!

That's what happens when people do not go to Him and don't look to Him for help.


That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world.'

Update to This is a good idea?

I guess the guy is a bit smarter than I thought. Here is another angle and you can clearly see the strap. I apologize for my earlier comments, this is completely safe and I'm sure any police officer that saw this would look past his inability to see out the back window and wave him on through. Dumbass, get a friend with a truck.

No pictures on this one.

A long time ago, I mentioned that, not only was this blog here to make fun of people, but to make fun of myself. If I point out stupid shit people do, I need to fess up to stupid shit I do, which I have. If you have read this blog for awhile, you might remember my story of not putting the washing machine hose back where it belonged, so I pumped a full load of water onto my floor, nice. Now it's time to tell one that might be a bit more risqué, it involves an activity in the bathroom. Now, I have either piqued your interest, or grossed you out, but for some unexplained reason, your still reading. Let me say that there won't be a major gross out, it's not that kind of activity, just an error on my part that could have proved disastrous, but thankfully was only scary and a bit embarrassing.

First, for the women out there that might not know the full details about this. In men's underwear, there is that little door, for the lack of a better description, in the front, that I assume you are supposed to use when you go pee. I never do because there is way to much bobbing and weaving to get yourself in full pee position and I've always felt it was easier to go over the top, if you will, than exhausting myself with the twists and turns of the door. In fact, years ago I had a friend who was a single mother, who had a little boy, who had spent a whole weekend teaching her little guy how to use the door, I'm sure to the child's horror. I informed her that guys don't use that door, in fact, I'm not sure why the Fruit of the Loom people are sticking with the door. It seems that they could save fabric if they would just give up on it. I know, your saying, "I use the door," if you are a guy, or "I know someone who uses the door," if you are a girl. Let me let you in on a secret, there is something wrong with that guy, just so you know. I've tried the door, I gave it a shot, but I ended up with way more pee on me than I preferred, so I gave up on it. Plus, if you have to go bad, it takes way to long to work the maze, and by then, pee'd on yourself. So the other day, I take Mason to a doctors appointment because Marcy is still at her vacation home, Methodist Hospital. After the appointment, we go to the vending machine and I buy him a snack since I picked him up right after school and Mason can't go more that 3 hours without a snack, but that is a whole different blog entry. We get the snack and Mason tells me that he needs to go to the bathroom, so I decide to go in with him since I don't trust public bathrooms with all of the psycho's out there. As soon as I entered, my bladder recognized the smell and I had to go now. I saddle up to the urinal and decide to put the bag of chips for Mason, in my mouth, seeing as how I didn't want to set them down anywhere in there. I figured, dad saliva is better than stranger pee, or worse. As I said, I'm an over the top kind of guy, but there are hazards to this method, and here is one. If at any time, you loose your grip on the waistband of your underwear, that you have pulled down to accomplish the over the top method, you run the risk of peeing all over yourself. Welcome to my Monday. I'll also mention, that once a guy gets going, it's very difficult to stop, but if you have just come to realization that you are about to pee ALL OVER yourself, the clamp comes down. Thankfully, I was able to shut her down before I had to wet my whole pants in the sink, so it was all the same color because I was wearing KHAKIS, dangit. What caused the slip of grip, why a saliva coated bag of chips, slipping from my mouth grip that I then launched across the bathroom when I tried to re-capture it, thus causing the slip of the grip. Lesson learned in all of this, either buy your snack AFTER you pee, or just hold it in until you are in a safe nurturing environment.

Africa update

I had an informational meeting last night for my South Africa mission. Other than the news that we might not get to build, the meeting was great. A received little new information on the trip, like that we get to serve food to the kids through the Kids Against Hunger program, which will be awesome (You might remember me writing about that awhile back, here is the link to the Des Moines chapter http://www.kidsagainsthungerdsm.org/). It will be nice to see the program at its destination, since I have only been involved in the production part of it. Now I will see it doing the good I've only heard about. I still can't believe I get to do this, thanks to all of you who were able to donate to my trip, I hope I represent you well. On the build front, Dr. Blessman said the organization that was supposed to manufacture the pre-fab houses, backed out of the deal 3 weeks ago. He is scrambling to find a new manufacturer, and may have found one in a South Africa. He is supposed to know by Friday if our Abod houses are a go, or if we have to go to plan B. Plan B is to construct pre-fab houses that this same SA company all ready makes. Plan C is we do the optical mission and give glasses to kids. I'm not really comfortable with the optical mission, but you know what? My first trip to Mexico I was so uncomfortable, and now it is a part of my life. God will put in front of us the need he feels needs attention, and I will serve the people of SA in that need. I'm really getting excited about the trip, even though I'll a bit nervous as well. That is a looooong way from home. We discussed the flights last night and it appears it's DM to Atlanta, which is a couple of hours if I remember right from the time I flew there for work. Then, its off to Dakar, Senegal, which is 8 hours and 50 minutes away. There, we sit on the runway for 2 hours as the plane is inspected and refueled, we can't get off the plane. The last leg is to Johannesburg, and looks like it is another 9 hours. If ever there was a time to go crazy, this might be it. In summary, that is 20 hours of flight time, 2 hours of runway sitting, followed up by a 3 hour ride to the farm, and you know what, I can't wait. Where we will work is 1.5 hours from the farm, so we will have 3 hours of commuting each day, just like being back in Washington, DC. I lived there for 5 years and the drive from DC to Springfield, VA, where I actually lived, at 5:30 at night, wasn't much different. I'm guessing the scenery will be much better, not very likely you would see an elephant running down highway 95 on the outskirts of DC.

This is a good idea?

This picture was taken by a friend of a friend, right here in Iowa, right by my brothers house. It's good to see that we have idiots here, just like ever where else. I have yet to find any kind of strap that was used to hold this thing on. I guess he used God's strap, gravity and prayer, to transport this. Seeing things like this makes you feel good to be alive and out of the house so you can feel better about your own intelligence. Good luck buddy.

Swine flu, what not to do

How about a kiss?

Saw something really funny yesterday, but could only get this tiny picture, so squint. Apparently there was a pro gay marriage demonstration and of course, an anti gay marriage demonstration. These two guys from opposite sides were in each others face yelling at each other, so much so, it looks like they are about to kiss. I'm pretty sure the anti guy would be a bit upset if he saw this picture, but I thought it was funny. I'm not sure what either of them thought they were going to accomplish by yelling at each other, I'm pretty sure neither is going to convince the other that they are wrong, but that seems to be the way we deal with most things, with anger instead of talk, or votes.

Quick update

The wi-fi is out at the hospital, since Friday, so since I'm home for clothes pick up, I thought I'd update on Marcy. The NG tube is out of her nose/stomach, so she is much happier. She still can't have food yet, but was allowed to have a popsicle which I can only guess tasted like the best popsicle ever. We are getting close to the next goal, which I'm sorry to say, is just farting. If she can do that, soft food is next. We are close, just not there yet and now that I've posted this, she will probably fart when she swings with all of her might to hit me for posting that at all. Hey, what ever it takes, I'm willing to take one for the team. Thanks for all the prayers, text messages, emails and cards. The out pouring of love is amazing and I hope evryone gets to feel that sometime, without a hospital stay.

odds and ends

I figured out a little trick that the hospital staff use that slowed things down for me the other night. I told you about the four elevators, two we are allowed to use and two that we are not. I was coming back from dinner and was riding up in the elevator when it stopped on a floor, but not mine. As the door opened, I looked across the hall and watched as a hospital employee got on one of the elevators on the other side of the hall, that I'm not allowed to use. Now I see what they do, they push the button on both sides and take the first one that shows up. What that does is make my elevator stop on every freaking floor from the basement to floor six, with nobody there when the doors open because they got on one of the other elevators. That drives me nuts, I mean I have to get back to my room so I can, oh yeah, sit on my ass. I guess I can let it slide but it really is rude.

I saw something really funny, to me at least. I don't think there is any way I can write this to be as funny as it was to see, but here we go. When patients on the floor go for their laps, most are pushing a IV cart with them. If you are lucky enough to not know what that is, its basically a pole with wheels that your IV bag(S) and pump(s) are attached. The wheels make a ratteling noise as you walk down the hall. Marcy has been wearing out the carpet with her laps, I go on walks when I'm here, but when friends are here, they usually go with her and I stay back in the room. On this occasion, I was sitting in the room and Marcy and Michelle were walking. I heard the unmistakable sound of the ratteling wheels coming down the hall. I first thought it might be Marcy, but as it got closer, I realized it was moving a bit quicker than Marcy typically walks. I caught out of the corner of my eye, a flash of a very short hospital gown. I turned to look, but it was gone. A few minutes later, I hear wheels again, coming rather quickly, so I turn towards the door so I can see who it is. In a flash, some tall guy goes flying by, and I mean fast. It looked like he was running. I didn't see anyone chasing him, so I waited for the next pass. A few minutes later, I hear rattle, rattle, rattle, and I watched a white Carl Lewis go whipping by the door. I don't know if he thinks he gets to go home sooner if he can do his laps in record time, or if that is just his pace, but I've never seen anyone go so fast, with or without an IV cart.

Take a look at the new link on the right side of this blog. My friend Michele is now staying at the farm I will be at while I’m in Africa. She has some great animal pictures and you can read about the optical mission she did her first week there. She visited an orphanage while she was there, so there are several pictures of really cute kids. I know if I end up at an orphanage while I’m there, I’ll want to take several kids home. When you read about the number of orphans in all of Africa, it breaks your heart. I put my oldest son, Mason, in charge of his brothers, in my mind. I don’t know how the child led households do it. How does a child, who is barely old enough to feed himself, dress himself or understand the concept of “care,” run a household of younger brothers or sisters? That is the case in a lot of homes in Africa and it’s mind boggling. I hope more short time there will make a difference, at least in a few lives.

I learned a new trick, thanks to Marcy. She watched as they were transporting her to surgery, and noticed that the people taking her, after the elevator doors closed, held the “Door Closed” button down, and they went right to their floor without stopping. Sounded to me that this is a way to make you elevator an express ride. I’ve tried it on two occasions, and it seems to work. I’ll try it during a busyier time, just to be sure it works, but don’t plan on doing it all of the time. After all, I bitching about the staff causing delays by hitting buttons for rides they aren’t taking, I’d be a hypocrite if I turned around and caused delays for other people. But it’s nice to know if it works or not, just in case.