Yes I'm back, you can all relax now.

Back by popular demand, or perhaps just a couple people inquiring about something completely unrelated, I have decided to try and start writing again. It has also been requested of me to post on my Facebook page when I do write, so they know when to come take a gander. That being said, let me put out a disclaimer for those of you that are visiting this site for the first time, drawn by my titillating Facebook post.


Disclaimer:
1. I am not a professional writer. I am a horrible speller and thank God everyday for the person who invented spell checker. I was not an English major is college, because I didn't go to college. Well, that isn't totally true, I took a college course for about 3 days when it hit me, I don't like school and I'm borderline retarded.

2. You will find slightly less than accurate grammar, punctuation and information on this blog. Please do not use this blog for your Masters Theses, you will fail and be banned from your school campus and website.

3. This blog has "colorful" language at times and isn't recommended for anyone over the age of 2 years old. If you are older than 2 years old, and still reading this, you're on your own. The writer of this blog and the whole Blogspot family, will not be held responsible for your hurt feelings or your offended nature, from something you read on this blog. Get over it, they're just words and you should take no offense to anything I say. I'm some random dude in the middle of America with 6 readers and no political aspirations, so this should never be a "skeleton" in my closet. I sometimes say "politically incorrect" things, see the word retarded in #1, so if you are sensitive to words, then read no further.

4. I do not feel that I'm better than anyone, so if you say to yourself, "This ass thinks he better than me," then you should stop reading my blog. You have missed the point. This is purely entertainment, mainly for me, but hopefully you get a laugh or two from something I have written, even if it's about you. I WILL point out my dumbass moves, as I will point out yours as well, if I see it. I will change the name to protect you so you don't get a visit from the FBI, CIA or any other letters. If your name was, say, Kevin, and I was telling a story about you, I would change your name to Kevine. That way, you stay anonymous and your feelings don't get hurt.

I'll leave it at that, see if I get any comments on the disclaimer, update if necessary, and publish the final draft. You will all be asked to sign a release, stating that you have read the disclaimer and will abide by its rules. Then I will have my lawyer draft up a contract and certify mail it to you. You will then need to get a notary to witness you signing the form and mail it back to me. I will then compile a list of "authorized" readers and post that as well. You then will be allowed to view, read and comment on all posts. Anything you say, can and will be used against you on a future post. Just kidding. Not really.

Now lets get started. Since my last post, I have gotten two years older, and no years wiser. I still do the same stupid things I did two years ago. I still drink too much Coke, although it is less. I still have a diet that should have killed me years ago, and see no chance that will change until they either pronounce me dead or tell me that if I eat one more cupcake, my head will explode. Even that might not remove cupcakes from the menu. I hate to admit it, but I had two cupcakes for breakfast the other day, and it was neither the first nor last time that has/will happen. Not proud of it, but if I'm anything, I'm honest about my poor choices. Now if you are friends with me on Facebook, then you know I saw a guy shit in the bushes the other day. I have written about it, spoke about it and even acted it out, up until the final act, I skipped that. You might be asking yourself, "What is the fascination with a grown man, dropping his pants in clear view of a major road, backing near a bush, and making dookie?" I'm glad you asked, because there is a very good reason for that. OK, maybe not a good reason, but a explainable reason. Really, not even an explainable reason, just a reason. That reason is, people fascinate me. Pure and simple, people amaze me at what they will say or do, right in front of other people, and think nothing of it. That is one thing I really like to write about, so be prepared for that. If you are a person that likes to say and do things that amaze people around you, be prepared for your name to show up here, Kevine.


It has been suggested of me that I should write a book. My take on that is, the only people who would read a book that I had written, would be my brothers and sisters and my other two avid readers. The problem with that is, since I would give all of my brothers and sisters signed, complimentary copies, that would leave my sales potential at 2 books. I'm pretty sure the money I would have to pay someone to correct my grammar, punctuation and just incoherent sentences, would be way higher than the amount of money I would make on sales of two books. I'll stick with the blog and see if I can get my readership up to five, then we will checkout the book writing potential and I can dream of ways to spend my new fortune of $.37.

Well my lunch is over, so I'm getting back to work. Here is a teaser on my next post. Haunted houses. Love them or hate then, they are coming on line now for the Halloween season and I've been to a few. Until next time....