Misc and Meals from the Heartland

The toilet seat in the bathroom at work is broken. I don't mean that you can't put it up or down, but that it is snapped in half on one side. Now, if you need to sit down (sorry for the too much information part of this), you have to make an ass pillow out of toilet paper so the two sides don't decide to come together while you are seated and rip a gash in your ass that will be hard to heal and hard to sit down with. What are people doing in there that they snap a toilet seat in half? Perhaps it's better to not know.

School. OK, I hated school when I had to go, but I may hate it more now than I ever did. The boys come home with more homework than I ever remember doing when I was a kid. They both have spelling words that we have to study every night, plus they both have to read 20 minutes a night. We have to be there making sure they read and Makiah has to read to us, otherwise he will just say he did it, wonder where he got that trait from? Mason will read if you tell him to, so at least we don't have to police him. Mason also has 10 minutes of "Positive math," whatever the hell that is. I'm guessing dad's red face and constant whimpering does not fit into the Happy math, or whatever it is. Sounds like the stuff you always hear comedians talk about, how we just try to make everything so happy and easy for the kids, well that ain't the real world, so do your negative math. I know math sucks, that is why God invented calculators, buy a good one and never have to do it again. I hope we can get into a better rhythm because after a busy day at work, the last thing I want to do is 4 hours of homework. They can't do all of it on their own, how do you tell yourself to spell a word without looking at it to know what it is. Well now you just saw how to spell it, hardly a challenge.

I saw something today that will NEVER happen to me. I saw a guy with stuffed animals in the back window of his car. Not one or two, but the whole back window was full of them. It could have been his wife's car, but I'm not driving the car if you are going to do that. You might as will pull over and let the ass kicking begin, cause that is reason enough to have it kicked.

We went to Makiah's first soccer game yesterday and it's good to see that our team will be the one getting the snot knocked out of it for another season. My mom use to say "get the snot knocked out of them" instead of getting the shit kicked out them, so I wanted to use it there. Obviously, the language is a bit nicer and I think she might have been trying to take the sting of getting beaten so badly. In this case, shit is actually the proper term. I don't keep score, but my guess would be 32 to 2, and I'm only slightly exaggerating.

I went to church Saturday night and our minister was talking about the Meals from the Heartland food packaging that is happening this weekend. I know I've talked about it before, but if you are new to my blog, you might not have heard about it. Meals from the Heartland teams up with Kids Against Hunger to assemble food packets for hungry people all over the world. I was fortunate enough to participate in building the meals with my church a few years back and it was not only easy, but a lot of fun. MFTH has taken it too an all new level. Last year, they asked central Iowa to step up and build these packets, and they did to the tune of 4 million meals. Think about the number of people fed do to the efforts of Iowans who care. This year, I don't know what their gaol is, but lets hope we surpass that. I'm heading down Sunday night with my Juarez mission group. Not only will I have a great time hanging with my friends, but we get to do something for people we will never meet, but who we love and want to help. I've mentioned it before, but my minister hit on it this weekend when he answered the question, "Why help people so far away, when there are so many here that need help?" God doesn't tell us to serve our geographical neighbors, he says to serve His children. It doesn't say anywhere in the Bible that Americans are God's children and the rest are on their own, although we as Americans act that way alot. No, he says in Matthew 25:40, "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." I bring this up because as I sat there, watching the same video I saw last year, I just about had the most severe allergy attack I've had in awhile. The video was shot last year when they took some of the meals down to Haiti, the only 4th world country in the western hemisphere. The meals were in the back of a truck and the people were lining up to receive their meager allotment of the packets. As the line grew, people at the back of the line were getting worried that they weren't going to receive anything, so the pushing began. Now remember, this isn't the day after Thanksgiving at a suburban mall in the US where people are trampling each other to get the toy of the day. No these are people trying to get food, something that they have nothing of and tomorrow, when this truck is gone, they still won't have. The crowd got so crazy that they actually shut the doors of the truck until it calmed down. I have seen this video before, but I think I watched it without LOOKING at it. Saturday, I looked into the eyes of the people on the screen and man it hit me hard. My fat ass can't make it from breakfast until lunch without complaining how hungry I am, and these people haven't eaten in days, maybe longer. To watch the mothers reaching their hands out to try and get a packet, which they probably won't eat but give to their kids instead, was heart breaking. I can't get the images out of my head. I will spend Sunday night doing what I love to do, hang with my friends and serve a God who has guided me on this path. That service, along with the thousands of other people packed into the convention hall in downtown Des Moines, will send hope and love to Haiti, along with some much needed food. I defy anyone who asks me, "why there and not here?" to watch that video, look into those eyes, and ask me that question again.

Sunday with the boys

The boys and I went for a walk to a local park and I got this shot of Mason and Max climbing on a big rock on the playground.


You might wonder where Makiah is, well he is our bug, frog and critter catcher, so he was off chasing the thousands of grasshoppers that are jumping around in the park. Here he is with one of his captures.

I showed them how to feed a spider, which will drive their mother crazy next time they go to the park because that is what they will want to do the whole time. I caught an ant and tossed it into a spider web and we watched it come and get dinner. The boys loved it, even if it wasn't really Mutual of Omaha stuff.

Iowa State Fair

If you live, have lived or know anyone in the state of Iowa, you probably know that our state fair is a big deal in these here parts. I don't have a bunch of other state fair visits under my belt to compare the Iowa one too, but here are my impressions of Iowa's. It has always seemed to me that we make a really big deal about it here. We have count downs until it will arrive. We have daily attendance numbers printed in the paper. There is a big portion of the paper, news casts and just everyday talk, devoted to it. I'm pretty sure it is our one major claim to fame, seeing as how it is voted one of the best, if not THE best, in the country. We don't have major sporting events, except for the Disc golf world championships that were here a few years back, so we don't have that as a attraction for our state. We seem to get a bunch of junior sporting events that are big and every now and again, something pops up that is big for us, but we aren't ever going to be Chicago, Minneapolis or Kansas City, thankfully. No, our big thing is the Fair. How do I personally feel about it? There are several things about the fair that I enjoy, first, the photos people take and submit, really cool. There is basically a whole building full of them and a lot of them are excellent. I've thought about submitting one of mine, seeing as how in all of the years I have gone, I have yet to see one of the inside of someones pocket, so maybe I would make it to the fair on originality alone. I enjoy looking at all of the huge stuff, the biggest steer, horse, pumpkin and boar(although I could do without looking at his nuts) My favorite thing at the fair, the people. Man you can see a range of types of people like know where else in the world. You have your city people who wear nice shorts and button up shirts, black socks and sandals, nice. Then you have the "normals" as I like to call them, because I put myself in this category and I'm not going to name it anything else. This group seems to be shorts, usually jean or the sweat pant type, plus a t-shirt with a location they have visited printed on it. Next, the "what were you thinking group." These people either lack a mirror, are blind to what is in the mirror, or could care less what they see. These are the people who wear shorts that are showing every single inch of leg they poses, and then some. They might be wearing a t-shirt with slightly questionable slogans printed on them. The other shirt option would be the tank top, which in of its self would not be bad, but they are either sporting tattoos that children shouldn't be looking at, or, if its a female, working without a bra. We went to the fair opening night to see a concert, Jeremy Camp and Steven Curtis Chapman, so we walked around a bit before the show. We had time to hit the Ag building to visit one of the things the Iowa State Fair is known for, the butter cow. I know what those of you that have never been here are thinking, "Wow, those Iowans need something else to do if they are making things out of butter." Yes, I agree, but if you are at the fair, my thought is, we're here, lets look at a complete waste of time and butter. I went to see this years ago and actually stood in line to take a gander at the butter heifer. I was disappointed, to say the least. This year, the big hubub was about what the accompanying butter sculpture would be, there is a second sculpture with the yearly cow. Since this was the anniversary of landing on the moon, they wanted to do a space theme, and there was talk and even a vote to see if Michael Jackson would be included, with his "moon walk." To say the vote was an overwhelming "no" would be an understatement. So they stuck to the space theme, and here it is with the famous cow to the left.

There was no line, so I decided I would take a gander. I'm not down playing the artist that makes these, she is obviously very good, but the whole butter thing is odd to me, maybe because I moved here from the east coast, where we would have never made art out of butter. How about clay, or plaster of paris? I guess my cousin would argue with me about art "materials" seeing as how she doesn't always use conventional supplies either. Maybe it's my exposure to art in general, never had a lot of access to it, so my tastes are a bit narrow. My cousin is an artist and I love to see her stuff, even own a few pieces that she did with Target that I love and I'm always proud to tell people who see one in my office, who the artist is. That's enough on the butter art, lets get back to the people. Before the concert, we were there for about 45 minutes and I saw more boobs than I have in a long time. Again, if you are wearing a tank top, might want to invest in another shirt to go with it, or a bigger bra to control your body or maybe just a better fitting tank top. I'm not offended by things hanging out, I just think you might want to save some of the mystery for home. Every where you turned, women were bending over to mess with their kids and woop, there it was. I know it's hot out, but a little more fabric won't kill you. Don't think that the guys aren't showing their boobs, because they are. Same tank top, same boob size, same out come, only this time, it is completely legal for a guy to flop out. That seems odd to me. How come a guy with double D's can let it all hand out, but if a woman does it, indecent exposure? I'm not suggesting we change the law, just enforce it on both sexes. And the guts, oh my. I have a gut, but I keep it covered and try to wear a shirt that doesn't show it off. Get a little bigger shirt, then let it cover, I'm just saying. Now we even have debates about pushing the start of school back to after the fair is over. Seriously? Our priority is a butter cow, over priced greasy food and the midway, over the education of our youth? Why can't we push the start of the fair back a week or two? Is it because vendors have the 2 weeks of our fair blocked out and can't make the change because they have other commitments? Well they need to set their priorities on the monetary value of the Iowa State Fair versus where ever else they could be, but don't set your school schedule on the availability of a funnel cake vendor. Maybe it's just me.

Summer is over

Today was the first day of school for the boys. I can't believe how big they are getting. I really notice it on our nightly piggyback rides up the stairs. Not sure how much longer piggy's knees will allow this activity.

10 years and counting

First off, Happy Anniversary to my beautiful wife of 10 years. Who'd a thunk it. I don't think there were many people, who after I told them I was marrying a girl I had only know for a few months, thought we would still be married after 10 years. Like all marriages, we have had our ups and downs, but I'm happy to say that most of ours have been ups. We've shared some sad times, but a lot of happy ones that over shadow the sad times, at least for me, I hope for her. We have three kids we adore, a home that protects us and keeps us safe, jobs and have been able to travel to places we never dreamed of. I thank God everyday for what he has given me and try everyday to give back to Him. Everything I do is for Marcy and our boys, including things I don't particularly enjoy, because they do. I know I'm not unique, husbands/dads do this all the time, but not for my wife and my kids, that's just me. I look forward to our next 10 years and beyond. Marcy, your job is just starting. As my knees get worse, my mind slowly fades and most of my internal organs begin to operate at a different level, you will get to pick me up, maybe even literally. Thanks for a great 10 years, I love you!

Hey, that's inappropriate!

Do I have a face that says, "Say something inappropriate to me?" I seem to have a history of people I don't know, walking up to me and either asking me if I want to see a naked picture of their daughter or telling me a joke that would make George Carlin blush. Don't get me wrong, I'm not offended, it's pretty hard to offend me, but it seems odd. I've written about the lady that asked a group of us if we wanted to see a naked picture of her daughter, so I won't go down that road again. My latest episode was while I was walking in the rail yard in Chicago. I was approaching the building to go back inside, when I trucker walked up to me and started asking me questions about the warehouse I was at. I told him I didn't work here, so I wasn't sure. I thought that would end our conversation, but man was I wrong. This guy tells me he wants to tell me a joke. Great, I'm not a big"joke" fan, but lets hear it. Maybe it would be a clever knock knock joke, or perhaps a president Obama joke or, dare I say, an old school your momma so fat joke. No, dude breaks into a sexually explicit joke that I wouldn't repeat to my wife, if I could even remember it. I'm not good at remembering jokes, mainly cause they aren't my favorite, but I had to wash my mind out with soap to get that one free. Again, didn't offend me, but I had just met this guy and he had the nuts to tell me that. Actually, I hadn't even met him. I mean, I didn't know his name, or anything about him other than he drove a truck for a living and was currently wearing a hat. Hardly makes us buddies. I laughed, as best I could, and kept walking trying to avoid this guys whole stand up routine, not sure I could have fake laughed much more, I'm not very good at it. Just ask Marcy. I refuse to answer the door at Halloween, not because I have a fear of small people in plastic costumes, but because the jokes they tell are horrible. One year, I had a kid tell me a filthy joke, he was five. I asked him if his dad taught him that, since I could tell he had no idea what he just said, and he confirmed my suspicion. Nice, dad teaches his kid a word, or in this case words, and encourages him to use these words in public. I've taught my kids a few words, on accident, that they repeated right then, but I squashed it so it didn't leave the house. Wait, Marcy squashed me because I was laughing and then she told the kids that "Daddy is an idiot, so don't say what he says." Yeah, that was what I meant to say. The last time I was in CA working, trucker told me a joke I thought was a bit racisist, but I knew him for 5 minutes, so I guess that makes it OK? Maybe it's the bald head that attracts crazies, maybe I should get a wig.

OH HOW I LOVE CHICAGO!!!!!!!

To you, maybe Chicago is a city you go to for shopping, or sports or museums, but you have sold yourself short my friend. Today we finished up the work at the warehouse, but not before we had lunch. We drove to a second site to check on a railcar that we had there, then started driving to find a place to eat. There was something, I don't know what, that was drawing me down a new road we hadn't traveled yet. As we pulled up to the stop light, there it was, heaven. I'm pretty sure I squealed with glee, but the next few minutes were a blurr. The light turned green, but before I had the chance to lift my foot from the brake, the lady in the SUV behind me, who was on her cell phone, honked. I'm not exaggerating, it was a mere second from the green until the honk. If she could see my heart, and knew where I was going, she NEVER would have questioned my need to go on the green. So where was I going? Why to one of God's greatest inventions, of course. Here is a shot of my lunch, after the boxes had been relieved of their contents.


Some of you may be questioning my sanity, if you haven't all ready. You may be thinking that White Castle sucks and sliders are disgusting. WELL YOU CAN GO TO HELL!!!! I've listened to too many people bad mouth the good people at White Castle. They have put together a fabulous product that is not only satisfying, but nutritious. (Don't laugh, you don't know) Hey, I have a sure fire money making idea for you. Buy a White Castle franchise and build it in WDM and I guarantee you a profit. The only issue will be my weight, which would climb on a daily basis.