No bathroom mentions in this post

I learned something yesterday, that I will need to keep in mind going forward. Makiah has never been to an actual football game and hasn’t seen very many on TV. Those that he has watched, I wouldn’t say he watched with undivided attention. This helps me in this way. I was mowing the grass last night and came across a football in my path, so not wanting to kill the engine to move it, I whistled for Makiah who was playing nearby so he could come move it. Is that lazy? Of course, but that isn’t the issue. He grabbed the football and I decided that I would show my manly manliness and whistled for him to toss the ball to me. I then killed the engine, which I was too lazy to do a minute ago, and punted the football across the yard. Now I have a pretty big yard, and Makiah was mightily impressed, giving me an ego boosting “Whoaaaaaaa!” I started the mower and proceeded on my way. The issue here is, Makiah’s perception of what is a big kick. Since he hasn’t seen a real game, it appears I’m the Worlds Best Punter, which is where my lesson comes in. I should NEVER take Makiah to a real football game or allow him to watch any punting on TV. I will keep my status as the Worlds Best Punter, he never needs to know the truth. A dad always wants to be the hero in their kids eyes, this is one way I can pad my stats and hopefully help make up for the lost points when I can’t do something. Perhaps he will think, “At least he can kick a football really far.” As long as he never sees a real kicker, he will never know that my 10 yard punt will get you nothing. Except for maybe a contract to kick for the Washington Redskins. Sorry, still bitter about last week’s loss.