Sorry.

This is a public apology to my mother. My mother passed away 13 years ago. I didn't have kids at that time, so I had no idea what she went through with my brothers and sisters. I know that I wasn't half as bad as them, but still. Here are the things I feel I MIGHT have caused my mother some stress.

I'm sorry about the bathroom. I'm sorry that I probably wasn't the best aim in the world, and wasn't the one who had to clean that bathroom. I have three boys, who I can only assume, pee with their eyes closed. I can't prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt, but I think, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, if you just see the bathroom, you will agree. They use 2 bathrooms, and both need to be sterilized regularly. I wish everything was tile and there was a drain in the floor. I would put on my hazmat suit and power wash that baby down.

I'm sorry that my brother and I use to argue. Constantly. I had no idea what that was probably doing to your mental stability, when you were yelling at us to get away from each other. If I remember correctly, you mentioned that we should get away from each other a couple of times, but we didn't listen. No, we continued to complain that the other one was bothering us. If I had hair, I would be pulling it out every time I try to reason with my kids, that it is so much easier to just walk away. That seems to fall on deaf ears, as it did oh so many years ago when you proclaimed the same thing.

I'm sorry that I did very dumb things, both to myself and to others. I'm sure you were up many a night, wondering if I had a brain in my head. I tried many things, that I thought I could do, only to be injured either physically or mentally. Yes, now I know that I can't fly with wings made of garbage bags. I know Evil Kenevil had a motor on his bike that he used to jump things. I now know that your chin, is NOT the human equivalent of an air bag. It took a long time to figure that one out. I see my boys are heading down the same road I was on, but maybe its a boy thing. Makiah cut his stomach a few weeks back when he tried to jump his bike over a ramp and onto another. He doesn't even know who Evil Kenevil is.

I apologize for all of the times I tried to get one past you. How I would fake sick so I didn't have to go to school. (shut up Lisa) I'm sorry I milked it when I was sick, to either get out of something, or to just plain be lazy. I could turn a hang nail into a month of "whoa is me." Sorry about "mis placing" several of my report cards, but really Fairfax county schools, you are going to send them home with the kids? Not a good plan.

I'm sure there is a lot more I need to come clean about, but these are the ones that I'm now dealing with, so I will just admit to these for now.