Thanks

A while back I posted a thank you to my mom, for all of the trouble my brothers and sisters must of caused her since I was an angel. Now that the big one is in the books, I thought I would post a thank you to the others that have made a difference in my life, specifically over the past few years. As you know, my life and the life of my household has not been the cake walk I had always dreamed. As the days past by and we come to a turning point in our house, decisions have to be made that will change our lives. We wouldn't even be where we are, if it wasn't for the kindness and generosity of family and friends who have drug us through this past year plus, even when I was screaming and trying to claw my way in a different direction. I won't name names, so as to protect the innocent, or those that would like to stay as far away from my life that is a flaming ball of crazy.

I've admitted to the guys in my small group and I think I even posted it here, I have a hard time asking for help. I would say that a hard time is probably, no, is, an understatement. That being said, I have "allowed" many people to help my family in ways I never thought I would need. Humbling? To say the least. Am I learning to accept? Ummmmmmmm, lets say it is easier now that it was when this all started.

I can't tell you how many phone calls, Facebook messages and emails I have received, just asking how I'm doing. Some are expected, from family and the very few close friends I have, but some have come out of the blue. Some from way back in my past, and they touched me dearly. Some people were in contact with me nearly ever day. I'm horrible about reaching out, it's a self esteem thing, but was always happy to get an email that was just saying hello. Sometimes I'm guessing in return, they got alot more than they had bargained for, but I never heard a complaint. My friends and family have saved my life, and that's as close to literal as I can be. There were days when I didn't think, mentally, I could go much more. I still feel that way at times, but what are you going to do. You are dealt your hand, and you choose, do you play your hand and see where it goes, or do you fold and hit the road?

So to all of you that have helped me through this past year or so, thank you. Thank you for lifting my spirit, for calming my nerves and for reminding me that God is there for me. I wish I could better express my gratitude, but this is as good as I get. It was just something that was on my heart, thought I would spew it on my blog.