We went back to the Iowa Energy game again last night, and it was another good one. I took a little better picture of Surge, but I think he's growing on me. I wasn't nearly as amused/terrified of him this time.
I did notice something that I hadn't on my previous trips and that relates to the water faucets in the men's room. I went to wash my hands and instead of the now common "wave your hand under the faucet until it decides to come on" kind, these were the "push up the handle and watch it drop back down before you can even get your hands wet" kind. I thought I would be smart and hold up the handle with one hand and then wave my free hand under the water. Smart huh? Now add soap on those hands and tell me how and the hell you are going to get soap off of your hand without rubbing it against the other hand? I'm not saying it can't be done, but just how much time are you willing to stand there? This ain't a 5 second move, this takes dedication. So you think, "I'll just use a towel to wipe off the soap I didn't get off with the water." Think again, hand dryers. You think one of those dryers are going to dry soap? Luckily, I figured out after I lifted the faucet handle 4 or 5 times and it was dropping faster than my eyelids while watching a chick flick, that speed wasn't the issue. I watched some poor sap a few sinks down make the classic mistake of putting soap on his hands before he tested the water, thus eliminating the warning signs that this is going to be difficult. I watched him lift the lever and quickly drop his soapy hands under the faucet only to be teased with 2 drops, since the main flow had stopped .00000005 seconds after he released the lever. I thought an option might be to use another body part to hold the faucet up while you rubbed your hands under, but your options, in public, are limited. I narrowed it down to head, foot, knee or tongue. Lets identify the problem with each:
Head: Very difficult to get your head, especially if you have a melon head, down there to hold up the tiny faucet lever. Don't get me wrong, I think I could have done it, but I'm not sure I want that picture on someones phone. I know if I saw it, so would you on this blog. Plus, the risk of drowning jumps significantly once you put all breathing ports that close to running water and drowning in a public bathroom looks like crap in the obituary.
Foot: Probably the most reasonable choice, but I was thinking about balance. I don't drink at the games, so I was solid there, but still. I figured I would rather have my pee on my hands than every one's pee on my entire body. Personal choice. Let me also be clear that I hadn't pee'd on my hands, so I'm not sure why I was washing my hands in the first place. Peer pressure I guess.
Knee: I don't think I bend that way anymore. Plus, still have the balance issue, so, ruled out. Plus, odds of getting a wet spot in a place that would be difficult to explain, jumps 100%.
Tongue: I don't think we need to go there.
So you can see that I quickly rationalized my quick splash on each hand. I thought, just briefly, about helping this poor guy by holding his lever up, but even as I write this it sounds really gay, so I dismissed that as well. Plus, I was all ready laughing at the situation and if I went down to help him, he most certainly would have known that I was laughing at him, there by making him uncomfortable and me feel a little guilty. I left, giggling .
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