Iowans make me laugh

I need to tell you about one of the funniest things I have seen in a long time. Iowa received several inches of snow last night and then the cold followed up. When that much snow falls, it takes the road crews awhile to get the roads clear. The more cars that drive over the snow, the more it packs down, the harder it gets. When enough cars pack it down, it becomes a polished sheet of ice. Now throw in a 4-way stop intersection, and what you get is an afternoon of fun. Right outside my window at work, just such an intersection exists. So the scene was set today for a lot of excitement. We watched for quite sometime before we realized that one of the stop signs had actually all ready been run over and was flat on the ground, this was turning out to be an even more interesting scenario. We watched car after car approach the intersection at an inadvisable speed and either slide to a stop or slide right on through the intersection. There were a bunch of near misses, but no contact. There were several cars that obviously hadn't been down this road before, because they bolted right through the intersection, seeing as how one of the stop signs was missing. There was one particular car, lets call him dumbass, that was coming to the intersection at a high rate of speed, by that I mean 35 to 40. He must have known that there was supposed to be a stop sign, because he made a small effort to stop, but was loosing his battle, sliding all the way through the intersection. At this exact same time, another car, lets call him lucky son of a bitch (LSOB for short), was coming from the street to the right of dumbass. Now dumbass has all ready blown the sign, so he is half way through the intersection when LSOB blows his sign and is heading right for dumbass. There is some sliding and swerving and damn my luck if they don't completely miss each other, by a hair, and continue down their respective roads. You may be saying to yourself, "O.K., that might have been funny, but you said really funny." Just wait, the best part was next. Now dumdass had driven about ten feet from the intersection when he stopped, right in the middle of the road. By now, there were approximately 8 of my coworkers looking on, maybe because I squeal like a girl when the cars almost hit each other and it gets there curiosity. Dumbass opens his door to get out. As he steps out onto the street, his feet slide out and he falls into the street, funny. Now he gets up, only to fall again. He gives it another try and hits the cement again. Everyone watching is laughing so hard, I swear I thought I would piss my pants. I figured, at the least, the whole office heard us and would be running over to see what the commotion was, since my squealing hadn't brought them over earlier. You may be asking yourself, "Why did he get out of the car?" I can tell you that he was finally able to stand on the fourth try and his motive revealed, he gave the other car, which was long gone, the finger. Now you know why I call him dumbass. The sad thing about this story, is its absolutely true, ever damn word of it. God I love Iowa!