Pins and needles?

I know, you are so excited with the anticipation of hearing a detailed description of "Mark's dancing, the early years." If you read my earlier post, you know I called for the divorce of Marcy for even thinking of signing me up for an activity that I would rather, well, do anything else other than dance. You've heard the old saying, "He has 2 left feet." That would be a compliment to me, I have one left foot and some sort of a hoof. I've never had much success with dancing. I always feel as though the paramedics will rush in, assuming I'm having some sort of seizure, and I will wonder why they are breaking up my best dance ever. So Marcy signs us up to take Ballroom dancing lessons, which right away sounds better than freestyle dancing, or whatever that is called that people do at clubs. I haven't been in a club for years, don't miss it. We were supposed to start last Monday, but my prayers were answered, and weather blew in that closed the dance place. I thought God would answer my prayers again last night, it rained during the day and then started to freeze, but it was not to be, class was on as scheduled. Seeing as how we had the huge temperature switch, my sinus's decided to give me the "going to puke" feeling, but I knew I had to fight it back. Marcy would NEVER believe that I was sick, she would assume I was faking so I didn't have to boogie. When I was a kid, I would have gone that route 100% of the time, but as an adult, I don't play that game anymore. I went to my room after I got home, closed my eyes and prayed I would either throw up and get it over with, or the nausea would subside enough that I could go without fear of having to mop up anything on the dance floor. My trick worked, some, so my head wasn't pounding as much and I was only slightly concerned about adding a new dance on my first night of class, the slip and dodge. We arrived at the dance studio and I was pleased that after everyone arrived, there were a total of 4 couples, us, our friends Michelle and Andy and two other couples. This doesn't include the instructor couple, who were busy putting on their dancing shoes, literally. Ever gone somewhere to do something, and someone else walks in with a really cool something that would make what you are doing better? Shoes would have been it, since you weren't supposed to dance with "street" shoes on. Looks like the sock hop is happening here tonight, so we ditched the shoes and the four couples nervously waited as our instructors introduced themselves. The one wall is all mirrors, which is what dancers want so they can watch themselves and others, without turning their head. For me, very distracting. I mean, there is a 6 foot 4 inch bald dude that won't take his eyes of me, kind of creepy. I still found myself turning my head to look at the instructor, when I just had to look straight ahead and I could see him in the mirror. Our first dance? The Foxtrot. I'm not sure how it got its name, I'm guessing a fox doesn't walk like this, but it is a fairly simple thing to teach a beginner. Before I had even come close to figuring the basic step out, they added a turn and then a promenade. I didn't do too bad, only stepped on Marcy a few times, but dance like what you might think if Frankenstein were to foxtrot. I feel stiff, that's what she said, and jerky. I have to be conscious of my stride, since one step of mine is two of Marcy's. There is a turn that we do that I go backwards and if I take my normal stride, I will drag Marcy across the floor, and that isn't exactly Dancing With The Stars worthy. There is a lot to remember, form, steps, direction, count, beat and I'm sure week two, they will add a lot more. What did I learn? I learned that when told exactly what to do when I dance, I'm not horrible. I learned that since I lead, paying attention to where I'm driving is important so I don't slam my wife into a wall, because I failed to "turn." I learned that there are worse things I could be doing, but I get to spend an hour looking into my wife's beautiful eyes. I don't want to end on a sappy note, so I will add the best part of the night. As our instructors were teaching us a step, I heard the woman slip a fart out. It was loud and she did the nervous, put your hand up by your mouth as if to say excuse me. Nobody reacted, maybe they didn't hear it, but I have an eye/ear for those sort of things. I asked Marcy after class if she heard it, which she had but didn't know where it came from. I know. I didn't react, but on the inside, laughing my ass off. Yes, I'm 8 years old, still funny. I told Marcy last night, and I feel it is my duty to report, I had fun. We'll see what next week brings.