Fathers Day

I'm posting this today, because I will be on a plane for Fathers Day, going to LA and my cheap ass hotel:) Fathers Day, like Mothers Day, is both a happy and sad day for me. Happy because I love my boys and I'm proud to be their dad. I could never see myself as someones dad, still have trouble swallowing that now. I still remember when we brought Mason home and I kept asking how in the hell they could let us leave with him. I knew Marcy would be able to handle it, but I wasn't so sure I could. He was in his car seat, which I set on the couch and just stared at him. He was way premature, so he was even smaller than most. I could basically hold him in the palm of my hand with very little hanging over. Now I look at him and see how big he is and listen to how smart he is. He might not ever be the best athlete, but he will make millions with his wit and imagination. When we brought Makiah home, it was a little easier, but still wondered what they thought I might have learned to allow a second one to come home with us. I guess they figured I hadn't lost the first one and he seemed to be fairly normal, so have another. Makiah is much more athletic than Mason, but has no interest in team sports. On everything he brought home from school at the end of the year, he always put that he likes school because he gets to play. Maybe we can get his brother to share his love of learning. Now Max is a whole other story. I was happy with 2 kids, and didn't think I wanted or needed a third. Marcy talked me into it and I couldn't have been happier (doesn't mean I want a 4th Marcy). Max is starting to talk a lot more and some of his words are so cute (don't all parents say that) The word he says that makes me laugh, is "actually." He'll say, "I want some milk." "Actually, I'll have some water." That sounds funny coming out of a three year old, or at least it sounds funny to me. I love my boys and thank God for them everyday, even today when they all three were whining about wanting water and we were know where near a drinking fountain. They feel that if you say "in a little while", that a little while will come faster if you repeat your question 100 times with each one getting a little more high pitched and pouty. Dad yelling through clinched teeth had no affect on the number or frequency of requests. We were at Mason's last baseball practice, where the kids played the parents in a game. It was fun, but I was a little hesitant in letting loose with the bat. I figured line driving a ball into a 7 year olds face would put a damper on the parent vs kid game. Plus, I'd have to decide if I go ahead and run the bases or turn and get in the car and leave. Neither sounded good so I popped out the first hit and grounded on the second, but made it to first. Yeah for me! The sad part about Fathers Day for me, is of course, my dad is no longer here. Dad died back in 1998 and it still seems like yesterday. I was fortunate to be with him when he died, with all of my brothers and sisters. Seeing as how we were just all together a year earlier with my mom when she died, we were getting way to familiar with the whole death thing. Now I know that all the tears I shed, weren't for them, but for me. I'd loose the ability to see my dad until the day we meet again, but hopefully, that won't be anytime soon. I almost never spoke to my dad on the phone, we just never seemed to have anything to say, but when we were together, we always shared a lot. My dad was a good man, hard working and loving. I learned a lot from him and will always be grateful for the lessons he taught me. He told a story about a guy that worked for him in one of his restaurants. I won't try to tell it, you'll never think it's funny without seeing him tell it, but bare with me as I give my brothers and sisters a laugh. "He MAAAAAASHED it down." Thank you. I believe that he is watching me and I hope I make him proud. Love you dad, and I miss you!