Hey, cut and paste does not a blog post make.

As I write this, the missionaries who served in El Paso Texas, the same mission that I spent 5 years of my life serving, are now either home or traveling back to the great state of Iowa. I was fortunate to serve the people of Juarez Mexico for the first 4 years of that and then the people of El Paso on my final year. For the past 2 years, I have been unable to go do to some family health issues and now, financial issues. I know some day, I will be back to serving in some capacity, and believe me, that will be a happy day. I miss it. But as I tell Marcy when we are fretting over figuring out what to do or how to do it, "This is where we are now." By that I mean, our situation will change, like it has so many times before, and we will have opportunities that we don't currently have. As I think back to the many mission trips I have been on, I never want to forget why I go. I was reading an old post on my South Africa blog and found the following post. Remember that this was a few years back when I was raising money for that trip, but there is a lot of info that I wanted to re-post, even if it is just for me. Enjoy. Or skip, whatever.

I've had a few questions posed to me that I thought I would answer on the site, so any of you that have the same questions, can have them answered.

1. Why? Why do you go and why South Africa? Since this is 2 different questions, lets answer each one separately. (her I go with the numbering thing again. This time, I'm throwing in some letters as well)

a. Why? Well, the short and simple answer is, God told me too. "Holy crap, this guy is nuts!" Yep, I would have said that myself just 7 short years ago, but here is what I have learned. God speaks to you, if you choose to listen. What did he say to me? No words, but an overwhelming feeling like I've never felt before. An emotion that I can't explain and a desire I couldn't deny. I'm the first one to think it must have been gas, but no, to powerful for that, and much higher. No, this was a full out command from God, telling me I need to move, to get off my ass and do something bigger than me. I've always been a fan of me, doing whatever I wanted and not apologizing for it. Now, it was time for me to do something for someone else, but not just anything, something big. My first venture on this journey was a week in the Appalachian mountains building a wheelchair ramp for a lady, with a group of people I met in the van ride from my West Des Moines home to Jonesville, VA. Spending 2 days in a van with people, lets you get to know them pretty well and I'll tell you I fell in love with them right away. You see, they had that same feeling as I did. I'm not sure it was the same experience as mine, but similar. The thing I remember most about that trip, was something the lady we built the ramp for said as we watched her wheel down it for the first time. She said, "You gave me my life back." We did what? We just nailed some boards together, I didn't know it would actually be appreciated. Her husband had to carry her down the steps before, so if he wasn't home, she couldn't leave her front porch. If her granddaughters were playing in the front yard, she could only watch from 4 feet above, but now, she could be right with them. I knew right then why God had sent my selfish ass. I knew my life would never be the same, and it hasn't been. The next year, as I began to prepare for my second trip to Appalachia, a new trip was started, this one to Juarez Mexico. Never heard of it. Again, God spoke to me and told me to give it a try. I went to the informational meeting and it scared the hell out of me. They wanted us to go to the most violent city in North America, stay in the old garbage dump, and build a house for a family I had never met and probably wouldn't be able to communicate with, because my dumbass never took Spanish in high school, so I only new words from the Taco Bell menu. I was pretty sure that Taco Belgrande wasn't going to be helpful in Mexico. The title of that trip was, "Step out of your comfort zone." That was an understatement for me. I like my schedule. I like to know what I'm doing, when I'm doing it and for how long. I'll tell you, that trip had none of that. It was totally out of my control, but for some reason, it didn't bother me. That was 4 years ago and I have gone every year since. That was a long winded answer for a three letter question.

b. Why South Africa? I learned a little about the AIDS epidemic this year from a traveling information thing. (not sure what category to put it in, calling it a show seems to lessen it's impact) They talked about all of the children that have lost their parents to AIDS and how their own family, aunts and uncles, wouldn't take them in because they were afraid that the kids had AIDS and would give it to them. I would like to think that my family wouldn't do that to me, if I was in that situation. These kids then have to fend for themselves. As you went in to this "show," you were assigned a child. You listened through a MP3 player as you walked through this child's life. These were actual kids telling their stories, not actors playing the part. Heart breaking, to say the least. I was moved. I kept asking myself, what can I do? I don't have money right now to sponsor a child, I'm committed over my head as it is. So I did nothing. Then, I saw the opportunity to GO to South Africa and see and do, what I felt in my heart I was supposed to do. So here we are, me trying to go, asking for you to partner with me, so I can help a few of the millions that are hurting.

2. Why bother? You can't make a difference. Oh how wrong that statement is. You heard what the lady in Jonesville, VA said. Last February, as we handed the keys to a new home we had just built, I watched a man, his wife and 2 daughters hold each other and cry. People had walked into their lives, built them a house, handed them the keys, prayed for them, then walked out, asking nothing in return. Imagine if someone did that for you, ala Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. How would you feel? I can't imagine, but I'll tell you how it feels to be the one who hands them those keys and walks away. Incredible. Did we solve the economic problems of Mexico? Hardly, but we changed the quality of life for that family. We prayed with them everyday and told them that we didn't come as Americans, big brother of the north. We came as followers of Christ, to share his love and live out his plan for us.

3. How does your family feel about you being gone so long? How do you feel about that? I guess I can't speak with 100% certainty, but this is what they tell me. Marcy backs me 100%, because she knows I'm following the plan that God has laid out for me. She knows I'm not faking it to get out of the house, because believe me, it would be a hell of a lot easier to stay home, watch Survivor, drink a beer and yell at my kids to stop hitting each other(I enjoy all of those things). The boys are always excited because they know I will bring them something back, so that is an easy sell. If you ask them what I do when I go away, they say to help people. If you ask them, who told me to go, they say God. I feel I need to lead by example. If I want them to help others, I need to do it. How do I feel? I'm extremely sad to leave them and I miss them a ton when I'm gone. I do feel that the week (or weeks) I'm gone do way more to teach them about who God wants them to be, than the time I would have spent with them during that time.

4. What about local missions? Why not help those? Good question. There are two main things about that. The first is, there are a lot of people who help and can donate food, or volunteer to serve meals at a shelter downtown, or volunteer at any of the other local charities or missions, but not everyone can, or is willing, to travel too far away places to do Gods work. Does that make me better than those that don't go? Or make the work I do more important than someone who helps at home? Not at all, both of these things are important. I hope that the people that are called to help locally are answering the call. These are just different ways to help people, no better or no worse. The second reason is, focus. When I'm at home, I have a hundred things pulling me this way and that, as I'm sure you do as well. It's very difficult to work another commitment into the schedule. Is that a lame excuse? Yes and I'm aware of it, but there is truth to it as well. When I know I'm going on a trip, I get everything I need to get done, then I leave. Then, for the next week, I focus. I focus on the reason I'm there. I become immersed in it. I focus on the people I'm there to serve and the people I'm there serving with. I pray, a lot. I listen to my fellow missionaries and I learn. I laugh. I relax. I have no TV, no newspaper, no phone, no appointments, no meetings, no distractions. I have God. I have life. A life most of us know nothing about, because it is poverty, it is dirty, it is real. I see happiness, in the midst of what we would think would be misery. But I also see people who struggle to feed their children, clothe them and put a roof over their head. I see people who give me far more than I could ever give them.

5. Are you scared? Shitless, times 100.

6. If you are scared, why do you continue to go? If you have seen the trailers for the Bill Maher movie, Religious, there is a clip where he is talking to a guy who looks like the stereotypical Jesus, and the guy asks Bill, "What if you are wrong?" Bill isn't a believer and I'm guessing his movie tries its best to disprove all religions. Bill replies with something that I just don't get, he says "What if you're wrong?" Really? That's your comeback. I'll tell you, if I'm going to be wrong, I'd rather be wrong listening to God, than ignoring him. Once you come to your judgement day, what will your come back be to the question, "Why didn't you listen to me?" I'm sure these words coming from God would be a lot scarier than those same words that came out of my mothers mouth, about a million times. This isn't a blind faith, I've done a little reading on the subject, and will continue too, because it's still a little confusing to me.

7. Is it safe? As safe as it can be. I'm not fully up to speed on South Africa yet, but I know in Mexico, we take care. We stay inside after dark. We stay in a group. We haul all of our own food and water. We take precautions and I've never felt unsafe, excluding the first time I went and spent the whole time wondering what in the hell I was doing in a country I didn't speak the language and building a house that I had no skills to offer.

So I hope those people had the experience of a life time. I hope they enjoied their time and were able to see the difference they made in the people they served lives. I hope they have been challenged to do it again, or to do something else, whether it be local or global. I wish they weren't needed.