K-Mart

So I'm getting ready for my trip to Houston on Sunday, and I needed to pick up a few things. I went to the K-Mart by my office, which is probably the highest concentration of white trash in the state. I know that isn't politically correct to say, so maybe I should put like this. They are looks, money, soap and teeth challenged. Anyhoo, I watched a 350 pound guy pull up to the front of the store and park right under the no parking sign and walk in. The funny thing is, he had a handicapped license plate, so he could have parked legally just 6 feet away. As I go into the store, he is right in front of me, leaning on his cart as he pushed it. I shit you not, 2 inches of his ass crack were clearly visible along with another 3 inches of what used to be white BVD's. I grabbed my phone so I could take a picture, because I didn't want all of my family and friends to miss out, and just as I was about to snap the picture, Bob's Big Boy pulled them up. Sorry. I walked around the store awhile and I saw him again, this time only a small crack was showing, hardly worth the awkward feeling I got trying to shimmy up to the man's crack earlier. I now know how to send pictures to my computer from my phone, so be prepared for uncomfortable pictures in the future. I did find an interesting product on the shelf that I'm not sure what you do with. Here it is.

Can anyone tell me what this is used for? If you can't read it, it says "Head Lube" then the more scary line is "Glossy." I now see it says "Moisture" and then maybe lotion, but I'm not sure. I would have spent more time looking at it, but I'm uncomfortable looking at anything with "Lube" in the name and ass man walked by and I didn't want to miss the show.

Wish me luck in Houston. My intention is to post while there, but the Internet connection at the hotel isn't free, so I will have to see what it costs.