Atlanta

Why do I insist in getting to the airport way earlier than I need to? I think I’m afraid I’ll run into some problems, so I over compensate. Today I got to the airport and was surprised to see that there was no line at the ticket counter, that’s a first for me. Even when I’ve gotten to the counter at 4:30am in El Paso this past Feb., there were people there. Here I am at the Des Moines International airport with an hour and a half to wait, and I’ve even eaten lunch here all ready. I’ve never had to wait more than 10 minutes to get through security, but I still buy into the “Get there 2 hours early” scam. I think it’s a way to sell more stuff, like food, gum and magazines. If I hadn’t brought enough to read, I’d be looking for something to help me kill the extra 2 hours I have to just sit. And how do I turn off the pad on this laptop so every time I touch it, it doesn’t think I’m hitting the mouse key? If you have a laptop with a pad instead of a mouse, you know what I’m talking about. If you don’t, I’m not sure how to describe it any better, but I’ll tell you it’s annoying as hell. This is a new laptop, issued by my work, and I can’t remember how to shut it off, so I’m regularly highlighting when I don’t want to. Plus, it keeps dealing me my next round of cards on Spider Solitaire that I’m not ready for, dammit.

I did learn something new about myself today. Apparently, I have the ability to pick the best places to sit while waiting for a plane. As I arrived at my gate, the waiting area has seats for about 60 people spread out over an area that is quite large. I can’t sit in my seat and reach the seat across from me with my foot, so the rows are quite a ways part. When I arrived, there was one guy sitting in the area, the rest was completely empty. I picked a seat about 15 seats away from him, kind of in the corner and know where near the gate. Since I have sat down, I had a couple sit right across from me and another guy move, from the opposite side to 2 seats to my right. Another guy came in and sat 4 seats away. None of this is a big deal, but they all have jammed together leaving 2\3 of the waiting area empty, and I’m not next to anything. If I were near the gate, or say a spectacular view, maybe I see it, but no, nothing. I’m waiting for the next guy to ask if he can sit in my lap, oh wait, here he comes.

False alarm, he just wanted to sit next to me. Now the fire alarm has gone off, but everyone is just sitting here. I’m guessing there isn’t a fire, seeing as how the employees aren’t running outside. I’m afraid to go out there anyway. With all of the security measures, I’m afraid the airport security will see my life saving move as an attempt to sabotage the flight and I will be shot, no questions asked. Maybe if I screamed as I ran out onto the tarmac, others would follow, making my move a little less threatening. My fear there would be, no fire and having to come back into the terminal with everyone staring at me. I guess I could pray for a fire, so I wouldn’t be embarrassed, but that seems a tad bit selfish.

I’m now in the Milwaukee and every time I hear that name, it makes me think of Wayne’s World and Alice Cooper talking about the Indians. This is my first time here, but it’s just like everywhere else, the Coke is way expensive, my next flight has been delayed 50 minutes and the gate they listed, changed after I walked all the way down to it, then had to walk back. I saw people knocking over other people trying to get on the plane first, always confuses me. Then watched those same people stand up as soon as the plane stopped. Our flight attendant had to tell people 4 times while we were taxing to our gate, that you have to leave your seat belt on until the little light goes out. By the fourth time, she was pissed, but I still heard the sounds of unbuckling while we were still moving. The guy across the isle from me was kind of worrying me. If you read my post from when I came back from El Paso in Feb., you know that the guy next to me was freaking out. The guy today was making all kinds or weird movements. He unbuckled as soon as we took off and got out of his seat. I was watching him to see if he made a movement towards the front of the plane, where the pilots sit (I don’t want to call it by its real name, because I’m afraid of how it’s spelled, that don’t look right to me). He looked down the isle, towards the back of the plane, then sat back down a re-buckled. I’m not sure what that was all about, but I kept my eye on him for the rest of the flight. There was a guy in the front of the plane that weighed about 350 pounds, so if the dude next to me made a move, I was going to yell “Twinkies in the isle,” and I figured he jump up and seal off any attempt for the front of the plane.

Just saw a dude in a skirt, no shit. I thought that maybe it was weird shorts, but I kept looking at him and sure enough, skirt. Now I’m hoping that he comes back by so I can snap a picture with my phone. Sorry, no go, back on the plane to Atlanta.

The rest of the trip was non-eventful. I did ride in a van with a guy who referred to the 12 Disciples as Jesus posse, first time I had ever heard that. He was full of stories and maybe full of something else as well. I'm finally in my room, but I have no idea what time it really is. My clock is flashing, my phone says 10:30, but the news isn't on. Must be back on east coast time where prime time starts at 8pm and the news isn't on until 11pm. Now I remember that I hated that when I lived on the east coast and I think that feeling has gotten stronger as I have aged. At least I don't have to be ready until 10:30am, maybe I can sleep in a little. I know I'll be starving because I've had a bag of pita chips for supper and that aint cuttin it.