Mothers Day, part 2

The boys and I set out Sunday morning to pick up Marcy's mothers day gift. You might be thinking that I forgot or put it off until Sunday, but no, there is a method to my madness. If it is purchased ahead of time, I have to hide it, and most of my hiding places are in the basement, which is in mid construction right now. The other reason is, the boys can't keep a secret, even when they think they are. So we headed out to the mall at 10:30am, seeing as how the mall opens at 10am, right? Well, apparently the mall people didn't get the memo, so they decided not to open the stores until 11am. This wouldn't be a big deal, except I have 3 boys with lots of energy just itching to run loose in the mall. I often equate moving my boys from one place to another as like herding cats. There is no way they are going to go in the same direction at the same time. So I spent the better part of an hour trying to get Fluffy, Tinkerbell and Spaz to stay somewhat near me, out of the plants, not hanging on the rail that looks down to the first floor and not riding up and down the escalator. All of these things are laced with candy (catnip) or crack cocaine, because I was loosing the battle. There was a West Des Moines Police car in the middle that you could look in and ask questions of the police officers. The boys were strangely fascinated with the back seat of the patrol car, caused me to pray they never see that part of the car again. We finally got into the store we were there for, found the things I was looking for and I went to pay. While I'm chatting with the ladies at the counter and fending off the "last minute" comment, damn her, the boys are running around in a store with many breakables. I got Mason to stand by me, but the other too were still messed up on whatever was causing them to not listen to me, I think they call it birth. Max had decided to remove his coat and leave it some where. I sent Mason on a recovery mission and he found it. I mistakenly gave it back to Max as he ran by and told him he was responsible for it, since he refused to wear it. That would be fine if he was 9, or even say 7, but seeing as he is 2, he promptly left it some where again. Mason to the rescue a second time. I decided to swallow my pride, go against what I said I wasn't going to do (which was not carry his jacket), and held on to the jacket myself. This whole process seemed like an hour, but was actually only a few minutes. We headed back to the escalator to go upstairs. We arrive at the top, my count is still three boys, so we head off. There was some kid, about 8 or 9 years old, that walks up next to me and says "He's by the glass." My thought was, who is "He" and what is he drinking out of the glass, but I just stared at the crazy kids who obviously has turrets syndrome. He just looked at me and said it again, "He's by the glass." Now I'm starting to freak out thinking this little kid is possessed, more on that later. All of the sudden, I get that panicked feeling, like Marcy is about to kill me, so I do a quick kid count, one, two, oh shit, no three. Click, it all makes sense now, turrets boy was telling me that kid #3 was by some glass. Not completely helpful, since we are in a mall full of glass, but I know I need to go in the other direction, so I yell at Tinkerbell and Fluffy and we run back to find Spaz leaning on a glass wall that overlooks that damn escalator. What is the deal with moving stairs that has my kids so fascinated? Max has now made a female friend which does me no good, because Marcy won't let me date and I figured mothers day was a bad time to bring it up anyway. Plus, if I loose a kid on mothers day, I'm guessing the gifts I bought would seem trivial. The lady laughed when I came flying back and gathered up my kitty to head home.
Marcy and I watched Premonition Friday night, starring Sandra Bullock. If you haven't seen it, it's a little weird. Not my typical movie, but Marcy knows I have a thing for Sandra, so she used that to get a movie she knew I would never pick. There was a preview for a movie, and I don't know what the name was, that freaked me out. I don't watch scary movies, because I'm a scaredy cat (what is it with the cat references?) so I stick to comedies or action films. This movie, and I only saw the preview mind you, would probably reduce me to a whimpering pile of crybaby. Wholly crap, I can't believe people can even think to write something like that. There was a little kid in it, he wasn't possessed, but he might as well have been. He freaked me out just looking at him. If he were my kid, I'd move and not leave a forwarding address. Anyway, we got through the preview and watch Sandra in her flick, discussed some of the things that we didn't get and were ready to go to sleep. Now my mind keeps going back to that damn preview from 2 hours ago and I can't sleep. I left the TV on, timer set to turn it off in an hour. I figured that gave me time to sort the images I had seen that night and get to sleep. Now, for some reason, my TV decided to do a very loud static sound for about 1/10th of a second, but about 5 times louder than the sound was set. I swear I thought I was having a heart attack. Why does shit like that happen to me? You might think I made that part up to try and slip in some humor to my blog, but I swear it's true. Marcy woke up a bit startled as well, but I don't think she was as freaked out as me to begin with. We both laughed it off, but I'm telling you, those movies are evil. By the way, does anyone know how to get urine stains out of sheets? No reason, just asking.