Observations, from a bored person

I have a couple new observations from the hospital, seeing as how we have been here for another week and still have several more days to go.

There is an area where there are 4 elevators that I use to go to the cafeteria. Two are labeled for "Patient Use Only" and two or labeled "Staff and Guest." That is all fine and dandy, in fact, it makes sense. They should have elevators for patients only, so they can have some privacy on their way to surgery or x-rays, seeing as how they are half naked. The issue I have is, when they use the staff and guest elevators to haul patients, leaving me waiting for 10 minutes just to get a ride back to my room after dinner. Here was the situation the other night. I went to the elevators and pushed the button. The first elevator showed up a few minutes later and there was a bed with a patient, not in the patient designated elevator. I figured, not a huge deal, but there are two elevators that aren't being used, and now I wait for the next elevator. When it shows up, the doors open and there in a hospital employee inside with a big cart with three open bins on it. The bins had plastic liners, but no lids. I started to get on, figured I could squeeze beside the cart, when the guy says "This is medical waste." Nice. I have no idea what was in the bins, I'm guessing it wasn't hazardous since the bins had no lids, but you know what, I'm not going to risk it. I've been a visitor at this hospital going on four weeks, I don't want to become a patient because I got "medical waste" on me. I got out, pushed the button, again, and waited for the two elevators I'm allowed to use, go all the way up, then work their way back down. All the while, the other two elevators sit silent with their mocking "Patient Use Only" sign. When my elevator finally showed up, I hit the 6th floor button and waited as the elevator stopped on every floor on the way up, but nobody got on or was even standing there when the doors open. Weeeeeeeee!

I've noticed that this hospital employs a lot of "special" people. There isn't anything wrong with that, it's just an observation. While riding in the correct elevator the other day, an employee got on, with a cart that he didn't say was medical waste, and proceeded to ask me, in a VERY loud voice, "DO YOU LIKE 70's MUSIC?" Wow, this dude really likes his 70's music because he almost sounds angry and I'm certainly not going to tell him I don't like it, fearing an argument. His question to a stranger, tipped me off that he might be one of the special people working here. I told him I did like 70's music, so he proceeded to yell group names at me, I'm guessing so I would grab a name and talk about my love for them. Before I could even get a word out, he asked me when I graduated. I thought that was an interesting segway, so I told him 1986, which prompted a "from where" question. I told him Valley High School, and he seemed dumbfounded. The elevator doors opened on my floor and I stepped out with him yelling some encouraging words about Hayden Fry, who was a football coach at the University of Iowa back at that time. I could tell he would be great at Trivial Pursuit and I enjoyed my short time with him. I wished him well as the doors were closing and he was talking about bowl games that coach Fry was involved in. He was relentless.

Our nurse from last night, Shelly, who is by far the best nurse we have had in this whole crapfest, got me a cot to sleep on. I'm pretty sure this cot was originally ordered for a dwarf hospital, seeing as how my legs hang off the end by two feet. The pillows have a plastic coating on them so they don't hold germs, but even with a pillow case on it, my face was sweating like crazy. Not a nice way to wake up, I wasn't sure if I threw up on myself, dreamed of eating a steak and drooled all over or if I was having massive face sweats. I narrowed it down to face sweats, sexy. Our daytime nurse from yesterday and today is named Kelly, so we have the rhyming nurses. She is really good as well, so hopefully we get her through the week.

Here is another tip, if you ever spend time here. I've told you that they have free Coke, which is the best thing about this hospital, not including some fantastic nurses. The trick is, they have those little white foam cups that hold two tablespoons of liquid. I brought an insulated cup from home that holds a much more agreeable amount of liquid and I keep it full. Fewer trips to the machine, more trips to the bathroom, it's a trade off.